liamC
Member
Registered: 28th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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http://www.b3ta.com/questions/wanking_disasters 
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Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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The place - Central Scotland. The time - mid 1970's.
From ages 11 to 15-ish my best mate was a fella nicknamed Dusty, I won't use his real name in order to spare any embarrasment. Dusty also hung around with a grotty little kid called Jamesie Stewart, Jamesie lived on a nasty council estate and my mum forbid me to hang around with him as he was "nasty and common". Dusty used to tell me all sorts of foul stories about this chap and his equally grotty family. Best one being this -
One night Dusty was having a sleepover at Jamesie's, come bed time they were in bunk beds, Dusty in the top one, his host in the lower. During the preceeding evening they had entertained themselves by playing 'kiss, cuddle or torture' (or 'kiss chase' if you prefer) the main object of pursuit being Jamesie's older sister. She was a couple of years older than the boys and, I guarantee you, not a comely wench by any means.
Having been asleep for awhile, Dusty was awakened by the unmistakeable sensation of someone fondling his dick, sat bolt upright in bed about to defend his honour when he realised it was Jamesie's big sister. The bold lass proceeded to climb up onto the bed and in the course of time relieved young Dusty of his virginity. This being done, she headed back off to her own room.
Cut to the next morning. Jamesie and Dusty eating coco pops in the kitchen, Jamesie is eyeing a mute Dusty with a knowing look. Eventually in an attempt to clear the air Dusty says "er....so....em....did you sleep alright last night?". Jamesies replies with "I heard you and my sister, you dirty bastard, if that's what you mean". There is an extended silence which Dusty breaks with a half heartedly apologetic "er, sorry man.....um....you know". To which the immortal reply came "ach, don't worry about it, I was having a wank myself !".
pmsl
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sfxer
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 00
Location: devon, england
User status: Offline
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lol
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1600power
Member
Registered: 22nd Apr 04
Location: Shropshire Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
User status: Offline
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lol at that site some very funny stories on it! 
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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As a student, having a flat in the centre of town can have it's benefits - you're close to shops, bars, clubs - all good things.
But it has its downsides too...
My flatmate woke up one morning and like most 19 year olds decided he'd give the old chap a polish before Uni. So he shuffled to the edge of his bed, closed his eyes and thought of England.
Now, if instead of England he'd thought "Hang on, did I pull my curtains last night?" or "Isn't there a new office over the road?" then maybe his bleary eyes wouldn't have met the face of abject horror adorning the secretary in the window opposite.
The kind of face people tend to get after witnessing a sweaty, naked youth - tongue poking from one side of their mouth - trying angrily to remove their penis... whilst staring... out of the window... at you.
He moved his bed later that day. She was never seen again.
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Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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ROFLAO some classics
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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i have been reading them for the last hour,
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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me too!
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John
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 03
User status: Offline
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at school
there was a kid called Ben who had special needs and would always have an assistant sit next to him. Pretty much every IT lesson we would hear the assistant telling him 'not to go on those naughty sites' and had to keep closing his internet.
One day the opportunity arose that his usual assistant wasn't available and no replacement could be found. So mid-lesson we hear a few gasps and Ben is frantically fwapping away to some teen site. The teacher shouts and goes running to the other side of the room, but its too late and he chubs all over his hand and keyboard. I've never seen a kid so happy, he turned around with a huge fucking grin clapping to himself, and when he gets shouted at just looks at the teacher in complete amazement, as if he's done nothing wrong.
I've never laughed so hard in my life
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