Danny P
Member
Registered: 20th Nov 02
Location: Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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ONE-POINT DARES
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed
2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
'non-player'
must be in the toilet at the time).
3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name
and say,
"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over
your head.
6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and
whisper huskily,
"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say,
"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the
doors open.
THREE-POINTS DARES
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barrelled
fingers.
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you
get all that,
I don't want to have to repeat it".
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from
the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be
nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points
if you
actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch
you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go
do a number
two".
5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican
accent. As in
"the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead
repeatedly and
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is
my witness,
I'll never go hungry again."
9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in
tights".
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You
wanna trade?"
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same
person: "Do you
hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I
can't talk
about it".
13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's
won a lunch
for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
a very
important conference call.
15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of
your pants
and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
smash each
biscuit with your fist.
18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair
towards the door.
19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life
counterparts.
And if that wasn't enough for you here are some examples of
insane acts you
can use anywhere...
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a
hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are
going to have
to let one of you go."
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with
that.
4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over
his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL
FAVOURS".
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the
prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
jungle sounds
all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party
because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!
3rd time this
week!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling,
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
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sassyminx
Member
Registered: 10th Jan 04
Location: Hartlepool Drives: Cossie
User status: Offline
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fpmsl so glad i dont work in an office
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Nismo
Member
Registered: 12th Sep 02
User status: Offline
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i shall be busy tomorrow when im back at work , allthough where i work none of that is uncommon ,
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3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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LMFAO
these are the sort of things i do normally
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Matt H
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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dont work in an office though 
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Natalie
Member
Registered: 5th Nov 03
Location: Oxfordshire Drives: Vauxhall Tigra 1.8
User status: Offline
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Seen before, but sooooo funny
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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So old but still my fave jokes of all time
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chris_uk
Premium Member
Registered: 8th Jul 03
User status: Offline
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9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in
tights".
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You
wanna trade?"
ive done this...
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
jungle sounds
all day.
 
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Natalie
Member
Registered: 5th Nov 03
Location: Oxfordshire Drives: Vauxhall Tigra 1.8
User status: Offline
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17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
smash each biscuit with your fist.
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Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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I love these everytime I read it
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Danny P
Member
Registered: 20th Nov 02
Location: Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barrelled
fingers.
I just did this - Got a very strabge look
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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ace
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Holly C
Member
Registered: 27th Apr 04
Location: Gosport, Hampshire
User status: Offline
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I'll have to try some of these out on my colleagues
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Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
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gunna try the ATM one.....
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Dav
Member
Registered: 23rd Jul 02
Location: Falkirk, Scotland
User status: Offline
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Superb!!
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L330wnz
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 04
Location: Norwich, Norfolk
User status: Offline
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