johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt really guilty. The sense of betrayal was overwhelming but every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice say:
"Dave, dont worry about it. You arent the 1st Doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you wont be the last, just let it go."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality whispering:
"Dave, you're a fucking Vet"
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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LeahWGA
Member
Registered: 11th Jan 08
Location: Laurencekirk/Stirling
User status: Offline
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 gd one
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little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
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little sam asked his dad for a bike for his birthday,he said said "no son,the mortgage is 80k and your mummy has just lost her job"
next day sam walked out with his suitcase packedhe dad asks "where you going son"
sam replied
"i walked past your bedrom door last night and heard you say2 mum that you were pulling out,she said 2 wait cus she was coming too.and theres no fucking way im staying here on my own with an 80k mortgage and no bike
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little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
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lady and her best friend go on holiday to the caribean and meet a muscular black guy.after a week of fantastic 3some sex they ask his name.
he replies "my names snow"
the ladies start laughing
"what you laughing for"asks the guy
they reply
"our husbands are never gonna believe us when we tell them we had 10" of fucking snow in the caribean"
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Nick-S
Member
Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
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at all 3 jokes
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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soo sending the sam one to my uncle..wee cousin is called Sam
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little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
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Timbaland
Banned
Registered: 20th Jan 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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Pat wins the lottery and goes to Camelot to collect his cash.
Walks in and says 'Hey, heres my ticket, im the big winner, 6 Million please'.
The Camelot employee has a worried look on his face and goes and gets a manager. The manager returns and explains;
'Look sir, we're a little short on money just now, What we can do for you is give you 3 million this week and 3 million next week, we just dont have it all at the moment.'
'3 million this week and 3 million next week ?' replies Pat.
'Yes Sir , That should be fine' says the manager.
'Aww look, If your gonna fuck me about just give me my pound back'
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little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
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^^^^^
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bimbz2007
Member
Registered: 20th Dec 07
Location: west midlands
User status: Offline
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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Why do women love to suck circumcised cocks??
Because they cant fucking resist anything with 10% off!!!!
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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A Paki goes to the chemist for a packet of asprin, the chemist realises he has accidently given the man a packet of arsenic instead , the chemist runs after him and says Ive given you the wrong tablets, whats the difference asks the Paki?
Errrrm call it a quid the chemist replies 
[Edited on 22-02-2008 by mattk]
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Hamish
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 05
Location: Ashtead, Surrey Drives: 100bhp Mint with Hole
User status: Offline
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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Lets all go ride bikes!
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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/\ i like that.
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Mein Herr
Member
Registered: 29th Jan 08
User status: Offline
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A woman gets on the bus carrying her baby and the driver says
"Oh sweet fuck thats the ugliest baby i ever saw, just go and sit down out of my sight"
The woman walks weeping down the bus and sits down.
An old lady sitting in the seat behind says
"Whats the matter deary?"
And she replies through the tears
"The dri-dri-driver just insulted me and and made me cry-hy-hiy"
To which the old dear replies
"Well i wouldnt stand for that deary, go and give him a piece of your mind! I'll hold your monkey"
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Mein Herr
Member
Registered: 29th Jan 08
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mattk
A Paki goes to the chemist for a packet of asprin, the chemist realises he has accidently given the man a packet of arsenic instead , the chemist runs after him and says Ive given you the wrong tablets, whats the difference asks the Paki?
Errrrm call it a quid the chemist replies
[Edited on 22-02-2008 by mattk]
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16V_1600
Member
Registered: 7th Oct 07
User status: Offline
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PMSL
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
Because he kneeded a poo 
I'll get my coat
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Nick-S
Member
Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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Fucking
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16V_1600
Member
Registered: 7th Oct 07
User status: Offline
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EDIT
[Edited on 22-02-2008 by 16V_1600]
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Graham88
Member
Registered: 16th Apr 07
Location: South East Kent Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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Oh dear @ the baker one
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16V_1600
Member
Registered: 7th Oct 07
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Graham88
Oh dear @ the baker one
I do appologize
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little_duke
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
User status: Offline
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3hrs later and i get the baker one
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Timbaland
Banned
Registered: 20th Jan 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by 16V_1600
PMSL
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
Because he kneeded a poo
I'll get my coat
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