stubs
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 02
Location: Bolton
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by DaveyLC
quote: Originally posted by stubs
@ willay & gez, we've been together properly only for a couple of months. I've known her for years though, and neither of us have kids or been married before.
Take it easy, you might scare her off.
Well she's just as much into it as I am tbh.. she actually said she was suprised that I wasn't scared with how she was talking the other day
Don't get me wrong, we aren't going to be rushing things. I just wondered how long other people were together 1st, and what order in which their relationships panned out.
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willay
Moderator Organiser: South East, National Events Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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I'm 24 now, if I met the woman of my dreams today I'd still be waiting 3-4 years till I had kids. Def something I want but not something I want to rush.
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Half Pint
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Registered: 25th Mar 02
User status: Offline
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well me and the mrs have been together 6 years (well as of the 15th) and got engaged last December.
Moved in together in August and the kids will not be for a few years yet... first we plan to get married then follow on with the patter of little feet.
i know what alot are saying about being able to live and i always wanted to make sure i was financially secure in a stable relationship before i even considered them.
i know too many people who had kids young and have either split with the mum or regreat having the kids and unfortunately its always the kids that suffer.. (in most cases)!
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stubs
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 02
Location: Bolton
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
Why is it the norm to have kids together instead of getting married these days? It's a disintegration of moral values if you ask me.
Sorry but I don't agree with that. I come from a very happy and love rich family yet my brother and his wife had their 1st child 4 years before getting married. I dont believe that means they have less moral values. Infact, my brother suprised Jo with his proposal... asked her parents & bought the ring without her knowing, planned a lovely weekend away and planned how he was going to ask her etc..etc.. Then a week or 2 before, they were in bed on a Sunday morning and Sam had joined them in bed for a cuddle and to watch TV. My brother said he felt that would be a better time to ask her, whilst they were together as a family, so he sent Sam to get the ring and he proposed to her with Sam there My brother has always shown his commitment to Jo and his family in unspeakable ways which are far superior to his wedding papers.
I may decide to be married 1st though, I love the idea of conceiving my 1st child on my honeymoon, but I also loved the smile on Sam's face when he saw his mummy on her wedding da.. that's something that will live with me forever there's clearly a lot of love within their family and it really shows
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Half Pint
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Registered: 25th Mar 02
User status: Offline
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Marrage was alwasy the traditional way things were fone... for me if any think was to happen it would mean that my mrs and child would benefit from widows allowance from the goverment something a friend of mine can't claim as she was not married to my friend Danny when he was killed.... although they had been living together for upwards of 8 years... and together much longer.
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a_j_mair
Member
Registered: 23rd Jan 04
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
quote: Originally posted by Carl
quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
quote: Originally posted by Carl
quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
quote: Originally posted by Carl
quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
Why is it the norm to have kids together instead of getting married these days? It's a disintegration of moral values if you ask me.
Depends on your values. Marriage doesn't mean anything to me, being married doesn't affect how much you love the other person. Plus weddings aren't my thing, I don't want a day of people focusing on me +1, what a dull day that would be.
Getting married is a demonstration of commitment, I don't think having a child together is anything like that.
Are you joking? I think having a child is the biggest commitment ever, far strongerl than getting wed. You are both responsible for a human being, far more responsibility and commitment than having an expensive day out, exchanging rings and having the same name.
No I'm not joking. you think knocking out a kid with someone is a bigger commitment than getting married? is it bollocks, especially not these days.
If a person is prepared to knock a kid out and then fuck off, i'm sure wedding vows wouldn't affect their actions. Are you talking about the nation of morons that we reside with or personally, i.e Do you personally think getting married is a bigger decision than when to have a child?
Personally I feel that getting married is a bigger commitment, as having a child with a girl doesn't seem to really mean anything these days. But yeah I suppose it is in part due to today's society that I think this.
that there sir is the problem with society
yes you.
So you would happily have a child then just ditch the girl
personally i think your opinions are disgusting
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MoesTavern
Member
Registered: 19th Jul 07
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by a_j_mair
quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
quote: Originally posted by Carl
quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
quote: Originally posted by Carl
quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
quote: Originally posted by Carl
quote: Originally posted by MoesTavern
Why is it the norm to have kids together instead of getting married these days? It's a disintegration of moral values if you ask me.
Depends on your values. Marriage doesn't mean anything to me, being married doesn't affect how much you love the other person. Plus weddings aren't my thing, I don't want a day of people focusing on me +1, what a dull day that would be.
Getting married is a demonstration of commitment, I don't think having a child together is anything like that.
Are you joking? I think having a child is the biggest commitment ever, far strongerl than getting wed. You are both responsible for a human being, far more responsibility and commitment than having an expensive day out, exchanging rings and having the same name.
No I'm not joking. you think knocking out a kid with someone is a bigger commitment than getting married? is it bollocks, especially not these days.
If a person is prepared to knock a kid out and then fuck off, i'm sure wedding vows wouldn't affect their actions. Are you talking about the nation of morons that we reside with or personally, i.e Do you personally think getting married is a bigger decision than when to have a child?
Personally I feel that getting married is a bigger commitment, as having a child with a girl doesn't seem to really mean anything these days. But yeah I suppose it is in part due to today's society that I think this.
that there sir is the problem with society
yes you.
So you would happily have a child then just ditch the girl
personally i think your opinions are disgusting
Thanks have a nice day too!!
You've completely misunderstood my point but never mind eh?
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Carl
Member
Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Ian
Children don't make a relationship either but they're also not something you can write a letter and be rid of!
Exactly. You could be married to he love of your life, get ditched and 10 years later be happily married again without a thought about your previous marriage. Once you have a kid there is a financial and emotional drain(for want of a better word) for at least 18 year.
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Kathryn W
Member
Registered: 12th Oct 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Me and Gaz have been together just under 5 1/2 years..
We're getting married November next year..
We have our house/mortgage/stable income etc...
But I dont want kids for a good 3+ years
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Phi
Member
Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Ian
Marriage is as serious as you make it.
Children don't make a relationship either but they're also not something you can write a letter and be rid of!
I'll be having some soon just as soon as I find someone worthy of my genes in their offspring.
i agree!
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