BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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I'm creating a website for a local brewery. I take care of the photography and design, and they supply the text/content.
This is what he sent me for the home page:
"Great Tasting Beers……… That’s our mission at Burnside!
For too long, beer drinkers have had to settle for the tasteless fizz produced by big “Beer Factories”.
But that’s all changing….and changing fast. The rapidly growing Craft Brewing sector is now producing unusual and individual beers with real taste and character, and at Burnside we’re proud to be a part of a drive towards quality and diversity.
There are some truly World Class beers and ales being produced by this dedicated band of Craft Brewers……craft brewers who may not necessarily always agree with each other but are nevertheless all passionate about the beers they produce.
At Burnside, we’re dedicated to working hard to join that select group of Craft Brewers who are brewing some of the best beers you’ll ever taste.
Enjoy!"
There are parts about it that I don't like, such as:
1. Using 6 full stops for an elypsis.
2. Use of elypsis when not necessary.
3. Poor sentence structure.
Is it my place to rewrite bits I don't like?
Should I tell him to take these points into consideration and rewrite it himself?
Should I rewrite if for him, sent it to him and see what he thinks?
Bearing in mind its a set price for this project, so I won't get paid extra for extra work.
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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Take the content and correct the shabby grasp of the English language otherwise you'll look as bad as the person who sent you it.
If they take it personally they're not acting in a professional manner.
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
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Tell him and quote to fix it.
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John
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by BluKoo
2. Use of elypsis when not necessary.
u2u ed about this
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dean101287
Member
Registered: 22nd Jul 07
Location: Cardiff
User status: Offline
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Either just submit it as its written or re-wite and run it past him first
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
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No chance in the world I would re-write it without consent.
Offer to correct it and post up your corrected version so we can correct it when you're done.
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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Here's what i've changed it to.
Here at Burnside, we create some great tasting beers.
For too long, beer drinkers have had to settle for the tasteless fizz produced by big “beer factories”, but that’s all changing, and changing fast.
The rapidly growing Craft Brewing sector is now producing unusual and individual beers with real taste and character, and at Burnside we’re proud to be a part of a drive towards quality and diversity.
There are some truly world-class beers and ales being produced by this dedicated band of craft brewers. Craft brewers who may not necessarily always agree with each other but nevertheless are all passionate about the beers they produce.
At Burnside, we are dedicated to working hard to join that select group of craft brewers who are brewing some of the best beers you’ll ever taste.
Enjoy!
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Ian
Site Administrator
Registered: 28th Aug 99
Location: Liverpool
User status: Online
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Mid-sentence caps in line 6.
And 'For too long, beer drinkers have had to settle for the tasteless fizz produced by big “beer factories”, but that’s all changing, and changing fast. '
Is far too long. Starting with But is fine, particularly the if the preceding sentence stands alone.
[Edited on 02-11-2010 by Ian]
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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Sorted. Cheers Ian.
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