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Author ***Post Jokes here***
leeshez
Member

Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 13:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Adam-D
you want a joke


saxo's are great!

hows that

That is pee take
RichSxi
Member

Registered: 13th Aug 03
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 15:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

why dont gay men like poker???

it take four queens to beat a straight


whats hit more balls than beckhams right foot???

Elton johns chin


what do you get if you cross a rasta and a cake???

A raggamuffin


What does a rubix cube and a penis have in common???

the more you play with them the harder they get


where does a female deer go at night???

out on the town to blow a few bucks



one day a bear and a rabbit found a jenie, who said he'd grant them three wishes each. The bear went first and he said "i wish to be the only male bear in the world" he got his wish..... the rabbit said "i wish for a motorcycle helmet" he got his wish..... the bear said "i wish for lots of hot female bears" he got his wish...... the rabbit said "i wish i had a motorcycle" he got his wish..... the bear said finaly "i wish all the female bears fancied me" he got his wish. and the rabbit said "i wish that bear was gay"




A man dies and goes to hell, the devil says to him there are three rooms. whichever you choose the person in that room will switch with you, they'll go to heaven and you'll take over - until somebody switches with you. So the devil walks the man down the hall until they come to door number 1, inside there is a man on fire, so the man says "no" and they go to door number 2, inside there is a man been whipped, the man moves onto door number 3. inside there is a man getting a blow job from a beautiful woman, the man says "yes - ill take this one" "sure says the devil?" "yes" replies the man... so the devil goes into the room and says to the woman "ok you can go now"

Ben
Banned

Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 17:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

pmsl at the devil joke
bradfincham
Member

Registered: 20th Sep 02
Location: East Of England Drives: Clio 172
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 17:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Whats the difference between hitler and paula ratcliffe??

At least hitler knew how to finish a race!!


Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

At least a prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again!!!
Cavey
Member

Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 17:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Went round to my mates the other day, and his dog was sat in the middle of the carpet licking his balls.

I said to him "Wish i could do that"

My mate said, "chuck him a doggy biscuit, he might let ya"

----------------------------------

I went Bobsleighing the other day.

Killed 20 of the bastards.

----------------------------------

2 nuns were driving them the graveyard one day on the way back to whereever they worship, when a vampire jumped out on the bonnet.

One of them said to the other "Show him your cross"

The other one jumps out and goes "Get off my fucking car you undead bastard"
OGX
Member

Registered: 14th Oct 03
Location: glasgow, scotland
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 17:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

How do you get four gays to sit on a stool?

Turn it upside down!
OGX
Member

Registered: 14th Oct 03
Location: glasgow, scotland
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 17:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Whats six inches long and starts with a P?

A shit!
LukeGSi
Member

Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 17:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Whats brown and walks into walls?
LukeGSi
Member

Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 17:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Jordons baby!!









I'm sorry I know its sick and i'll burn in hell but thats the only one I know!
Colin.S
Member

Registered: 19th Oct 02
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 20:48   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Whats ET short for?































because he's got little legs.
LukeGSi
Member

Registered: 9th Dec 03
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 20:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Woollard
Member

Registered: 20th Nov 01
Location: MK _________________ Drives :BMW 330ci
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 21:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Whats blue and doesnt fit???
Woollard
Member

Registered: 20th Nov 01
Location: MK _________________ Drives :BMW 330ci
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 21:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

a dead epileptic.

this is not meant to offend, it is just a joke.
ScottyBrum
Member

Registered: 12th Jan 04
Location: Birmingham
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 22:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Paddy & Murphy are walking down the road when they get stopped by a Man who tells them "It's your lucky day lads"
Paddy says "why's that then"
The man replies with " If you can name me 2 days in the week beggining with 'T' i will give u each £100"
Paddy gets excited - puts his hand up shouting "i know, i know"

Today & Tomorrow

ScottyBrum
Member

Registered: 12th Jan 04
Location: Birmingham
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 22:35   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

2 tampons are walking down the road, they have known each other for years, but as they pass each other in the street they decide to completely ignore each other...........Why?

Cus they are both Stuck up cnuts!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do u call a prostitute with a runny nose??

Full up
chadjpr
Member

Registered: 27th Dec 02
Location: Chesterfield
User status: Offline
   15th Sep 04 at 23:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

earlier joke, a piece of graffiti i once saw,

dyslexia rules K.O







chadjpr
Member

Registered: 27th Dec 02
Location: Chesterfield
User status: Offline
15th Sep 04 at 23:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

how do you get 50 eathiopians into a phone box?













chuck a can of beans in!!
chadjpr
Member

Registered: 27th Dec 02
Location: Chesterfield
User status: Offline
   16th Sep 04 at 00:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

how do you get them out again

drive past with the tin opener

chadjpr
Member

Registered: 27th Dec 02
Location: Chesterfield
User status: Offline
16th Sep 04 at 00:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

wat do you do if a bird shits on your windscreen?

tell her to piss of and never see her again!
drunkenfool
Member

Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
16th Sep 04 at 00:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Woollard
Whats blue and doesnt fit???


LMFAO!!

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