johnboy1464
Member
Registered: 18th May 03
Location: west-yorkshire
User status: Offline
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A hip young man goes out and buys a 1997 McLaren F1. It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about £2,500,000. He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" The young man replies, "A 1997 McLaren F1. They cost about two and a half million pounds!" "That's a lot of money," says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 230 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly. The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?" "Sure," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!" Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 230 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my McLaren F1?!" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it almost looked like the old man on the moped! "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a McLaren F1?!" Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh Ka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and it IS the old man! Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're badly hurt! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man moans and replies, "Yes, could you please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror?!"
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andypsgwide
Member
Registered: 13th Mar 03
Location: newcastle
User status: Offline
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johnboy1464
Member
Registered: 18th May 03
Location: west-yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Please remember that the Highway Code is, in fact, incorrect. The left hand lane of the motorway should remain
empty at all times, even when the other two lanes are bunged to the gills with cars.
Please remember to leave as little space as possible between yourself and the car in front, especially when driving
at high speed (and preferably in the right hand lane) as this leads to multiple car pile-ups, about which
the emergency services are perfectly happy.
If you wish to overtake a vehicle, under no circumstances should you move into the right hand lane unless there is
only just enough space for your car between two other cars.
The indicators on your vehicle are, in fact, optional extras and should not be used at any time.
This will only confuse other drivers as your indicators may not agree with the crystal ball on their dashboard.
When you require to leave the motorway, please ensure that you stay in the right hand lane until the last possible
minute before winging your way to the exit.
When someone performs the action mentioned above, you should show your appreciation for them by honking your horn
as loudly as possible.
On the rare occasions that the right hand lane is empty and you find it possible to travel at high speed, please
ensure that you display your displeasure with anyone else who dares to cross into your lane
by sitting two inches from their back bumper, honking your horn and flashing your lights.
When an accident occurs on the motorway, it is common practice to slow your vehicle down as much as possible in
order that you may have a good look at the accident scene, thereby slowing everyone else up as well.
Never look in your mirrors before changing lanes - everyone knows that this is a silly thing to do
as it may avoid an accident.
If the motorway is quiet, keep your car in the middle lane, even when only travelling at 40 mph.
Fog lights are a wonderful invention - everyone wishes to see them, but only if the weather is clear.
Ensure that you switch them on and dazzle every other motorist.
Conversely, when there actually is fog, do not worry about switching on your normal vehicle lights, never mind your
fog lights. All vehicles are fitted with radar as standard to enable to see
your vehicle, even in the thickest pea-soup fog. 
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kenryso
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 03
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Nice 
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johnboy1464
Member
Registered: 18th May 03
Location: west-yorkshire
User status: Offline
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nice web site leeshez thxs for that
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Ur welcome due to change it soon Lee
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