groom
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: In front of my pc
User status: Offline
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After every Qantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
the flight that need repair or correction. The form used is a piece of
paper on which the pilot completes the top part listing the problem, which
the
mechanics read and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form
what remedial action was taken, so the pilot on the plane's next flight
can
review the form before taking off.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses with
P = the problem logged by the pilot,
S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.
Qantas, by the way, is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
 worrying really
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Wolfy
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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lol... they aint real are they!!
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groom
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: In front of my pc
User status: Offline
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apparently
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Adam
Member
Registered: 1st May 01
Location: Hurstbourne Tarrant
User status: Offline
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Kerry
Member
Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Norwich
User status: Offline
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where u find that?
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kitkat
Member
Registered: 8th May 03
Location: South Molton, Devon
User status: Offline
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had the same list but was from RAF ground crew not qantas
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toops
Member
Registered: 21st Jun 03
Location: Widnes
User status: Offline
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omg! thats quite scary come to think of it
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Cavey
Member
Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
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they're quality some of them
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