Romford Astra
Member
Registered: 13th Aug 01
Location: Romford, Essex Drives:Honda S2000
User status: Offline
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A Little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands
next to the barber chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his hair cut.
The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair
on your muffin."
"I know," she replies, "im goin to get tits too."
* *
Two women friends, incredibly drunk and walking home got caught
short. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do
their business behind a head stone or something. One of them had nothing
to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties and use them, then
throw them away. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive
underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage
a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded
to wipe herself with that. They then made off for home.
The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "We'd
better keep an eye on our wives you know, mine came home last night
without her panties." "That's nothing" said the other "Mine came back with
a card stuck between her arse cheeks that said 'From all the lads at the
firestation. We'll never forget you'."
* *
A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell and the wife
answers. "Hi, is Tony home?" "No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind
if I wait?" "No, come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know
Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a
hundred quid if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second
and figures what the hell - a hundred quid. She opens her robe and shows
one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred quid on the table. They
sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to
see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred quid if I could just
see the both of them together." Nora thinks about this and thinks what the
hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her,
throws another hundred quid on the table, and then says he can't wait any
longer and leaves. A while later, Tony arrives home and his wife says,
"You know, your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for
a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 quid he owes me?"
* *
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How
much is that Barbie in the window?", he asks the shop assistant.
The assistant replies, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for
$25.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $25.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for
$25.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $25.95, and Divorced Barbie for
$495.00"
The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?
"That's obvious," the assistant says, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's
house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
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all gr8
