Trotty
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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(Pinched from another board - made me chuckle though  )
Billy Connolly's 14 biggest HATES.....
>
>1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
>where my watch is pal, where the [censored] is yours? Do I point at my crotch
>when I ask where the toilet is?
>
>2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room
>for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
>channel manually.
>
>3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
>[censored] right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
>
>4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
>Why the [censored] would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
>this? Who, and where are they?
>
>5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I
>paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the [censored] floor.
>
>6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Ya didn't really give me a
>choice there, did you sunshine?
>
>7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
>there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
>must have been something before it.
>
>8. When people say "life is short". What the [censored]?? Life is the longest
>damn thing anyone ever [censored] does!! What can you do that's longer?
>
>9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
>yet?". If the bus had come would I be standing here, Knobhead?
>
>10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
>what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?
>
>11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
>really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
>
>12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an
>image I really didn't need.
>
>13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert
>the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken
>Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets a blank look. Well I'll have a McStraw
>and jam it in your McEyes you [censored] McTosser.
>
>14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you all
>right?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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Colin.S
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 02
User status: Offline
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pmsl 
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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ROFLMFAO you have 4 ofd us in tears here!
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Trotty
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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My personal fave...
">9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus had come would I be standing here, Knobhead? "
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Stoneyginger
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Jan 01
Location: Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline
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my [censored] Hero
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert
>the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken
>Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets a blank look. Well I'll have a McStraw
>and jam it in your McEyes you [censored] McTosser.
>
>14. When you're involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you all
>right?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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SXi_Si_2002
Member
Registered: 13th May 02
Location: Southampton
User status: Offline
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lol, not seen that before. thats some funny shit
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charcoalgrill
Member
Registered: 23rd Oct 02
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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im gonna say some of those things to someone next time the situation occurs
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Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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quality
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ONeil
Member
Registered: 12th Feb 03
Location: Telford
User status: Offline
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funny shit
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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ROFLMFAO
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Leo
Member
Registered: 26th May 04
User status: Offline
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Joff
Member
Registered: 17th Oct 00
Location: Cambridgeshire
User status: Offline
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I used to live a few streets from where Billy grew up - just by the Gorbals.
Ask Vibrio - he knows.
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Craig6682
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 03
User status: Offline
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Sooty!!!
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big eck
Member
Registered: 20th Apr 03
Location: Tullibody. Drives - Audi B8 S4 & Fiesta Zetec-S
User status: Offline
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I've got that vid and it fcukin hilarious, BUY IT you wont be dissappointed
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
User status: Offline
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i saw the title - and came to see if my name was in here 
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Colin.S
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 02
User status: Offline
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Drew -  
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Joff
I used to live a few streets from where Billy grew up - just by the Gorbals.
Ask Vibrio - he knows.
This shows how little you know JOff. the gorbals is on the southside just at the city centre. Billy C grew up in partick on the north side near the university.
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Joff
Member
Registered: 17th Oct 00
Location: Cambridgeshire
User status: Offline
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