Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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Now you all may know I have a 19month old daughter
<<<<<
But I had her with my ex, still get to see when I want and have Sundays etc.
Me and my Ex get on really well and are quite good freinds (current GF gets quite jelous) but I explain it's better for my daughter to see her parents get on than argue.
So it went on, and on.. And i said she still loves and cares for me becasuee i'm Hollie's Dad. Then I knew what was coming, and I repiled ''I care for her alot because she carried for 9 months and gave birth to her and does a wonderful job looking after her'' Then she said 'do you love her?'' I replied ''seeing as shes my daughters Mom and I still care for her health, yes, but i'm not IN love with her''.
Then she started crying  saying ''I wont to be the only one you love'' and I replied saying ''you're the only one i am IN love with, i'm not IN love with my ex, far from it, I just care for her alot, so you can kind of call it love''.
Am I wrong?
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lil_g
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Registered: 29th Oct 06
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No!
It's a totally different kind of love.
You love your ex like you would a good mate, and have to car about how she is as she looks after your daughter 
-i.e. if she and you were arguing or if something happened to her would she be fit to look after her? You'll always be worried in a way because of this 
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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It's a expalining it to my girlfriend without loosing her i'm worrying about 
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andy1868
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Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
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its the same as loving your dad, but you're not IN love with him. theres a definate difference.
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lil_g
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Registered: 29th Oct 06
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Over-reactive? It's a hard thing to do but hopefully she'll understand that she's the mother of your daughter and so you are only caring for your daughter in a way That doesn't sound right but I've typed it 3 times
Has she met your ex? Ever brought this up before?
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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i think unless you G/f has been in the situation, she will never understand the care you have for your ex.
You want her to be safe and well becasue she is the mother of your child, its not like you want her to be the healthest ever, its just you want your child to have the best quailty of life, given the situation of her parents.
why not ask your g/f to read this post? she may understand it better without you being there and getting upset?
[Edited on 19-08-2007 by Gaz]
[Edited on 19-08-2007 by Gaz]
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Gregor
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Registered: 28th Nov 03
Location: Paisley, Renfrewshire
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quote:
Originally posted by Gaz
i think unless you G/f has been inthe situation, she will never understand the care you have for your ex.
You want her to be safe and well becasue she is the mother of your child, its not like you want hr to be the healthest ever, its just you wat your chidto have the bestquailty of life, given the situation of her parents.
why not ask your g/f to read this post? she may understand it better without you being there and getting upset?
[Edited on 19-08-2007 by Gaz]
Yes she will love her upset told to the world wide web
Your right though
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Butler
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Registered: 2nd Jun 05
Location: London
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You shouldnt have told her you love your ex tbh
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Steve X16XE
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Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
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quote:
Originally posted by lil_g04
Has she met your ex? Ever brought this up before?
Yes Charly has met Monster's Ex and No she doesn't like "the bitch."
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Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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quote:
Originally posted by escortgti.com
quote:
Originally posted by Gaz
i think unless you G/f has been inthe situation, she will never understand the care you have for your ex.
You want her to be safe and well becasue she is the mother of your child, its not like you want hr to be the healthest ever, its just you wat your chidto have the bestquailty of life, given the situation of her parents.
why not ask your g/f to read this post? she may understand it better without you being there and getting upset?
[Edited on 19-08-2007 by Gaz]
Yes she will love her upset told to the world wide web
wtf how can anyone understand that
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lil_g
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Registered: 29th Oct 06
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve X16XE
quote:
Originally posted by lil_g04
Has she met your ex? Ever brought this up before?
Yes Charly has met Monster's Ex and No she doesn't like "the bitch."
Is there a certain reason for this or just because of the EX-factor?
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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yes sorry, i will go edit my post.
this keybourd misses letters and i do not look at the screen when typing
[Edited on 19-08-2007 by Gaz]
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
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Monster needed someone to talk to, he asked for advice on here?
If he didnt want opinion's then he wouldn't have said anything
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Steve X16XE
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Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
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She is always nice to Charly's face but is always bitching about her behind her back. And yes i think that because of the Ex-Factor there is a little bit of hate in there too.
It's just that Charly is scared that she might lose Monster again. She loves him to bits and he also love her very much.. But women need reasureing on things like that more than what men do.
So when she see's his Ex all pally with "HER MAN" she doesn't like it and feels left out and a litle hurt.
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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I agree Butler, but I dont lie, especially to my girlfriend.
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lil_g
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Registered: 29th Oct 06
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I see what you mean there steve
Agree on the reassurance thing though maybe she's just overly worried about loosing you mate, but obviously as yours is your ex she may still believe there are feelings there, which is probably why she's been weird since you said you still care - she's just scared of loosing you.
My advice would be to have some good couple time and really make the effort to show your other half that she is the one you want and that your relationship and care for your ex is just for the sake of your daughter
[Edited on 19-08-2007 by lil_g04]
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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Perfect. Perfect lil_go4 (name?) that is the exact situation i'm in, and what I need to do. Thanks.
Edit - Just txted her some of this advice, so she'll feel better for that
[Edited on 19-08-2007 by Monster]
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lil_g
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Registered: 29th Oct 06
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No problem Scott
Real names Gregg btw
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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How the fook do you know my name?
She's being ok with me now, I think she'll expect it. Thanks Gregg and all the others!
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Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
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Ive got a mate like that, he gets it tight from his burd for spending time with his ex & little girl & giving them money etc.
End of the day its his kid & hes doing his best to be a responsible parent.
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mattk
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Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
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Women are complicated creatures
Pretty sticky situatuation for her to be in, but all the same, one that to me is easily understandable
everyone knows your name Scott
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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Yes Matt's right, everyone knows your name now Scott.
Ash.
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Kurt
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Registered: 23rd Oct 05
Location: Hi
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Tbh Scott its better that you support you ex and daughter, my sister lived with someone but while pregnant he kicked her out and she had to come home, she doesnt hear anything from him now or get anything at all from him and my nephew is 2 now
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin
End of the day its his kid & hes doing his best to be a responsible parent.
Same here. Can't win sometimes.
But you gotta understand from my girlfriends point of view, shes 19 and never been in a situation like this before, so it isn't easy for her me sayin i love my ex.
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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quote:
Originally posted by Kurt
Tbh Scott its better that you support you ex and daughter, my sister lived with someone but while pregnant he kicked her out and she had to come home, she doesnt hear anything from him now or get anything at all from him and my nephew is 2 now
Oh I do, i'll see her as offten as I can, and I pay my way. Not 100% sure where my money goes though 
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