Jakey
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
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A man walks into Asda.
Slaps his circumcised penis on the counter and says
"I bet you cant fucking roll that back"
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nova_gteuk
Member
Registered: 15th May 02
Location: South Wales Drives: The Bandwagon
User status: Offline
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Nick-S
Member
Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
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Haimsey
Premium Member
Registered: 8th May 05
Location: Nottingham Drives: Corsa B
User status: Offline
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Marcy Marc 
White Sport Progress Thread
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Jakey
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
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Alright this ones better.
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth.
In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their Daughter's' date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he's older?"
The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law."
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Haimsey
Premium Member
Registered: 8th May 05
Location: Nottingham Drives: Corsa B
User status: Offline
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Marcy Marc
White Sport Progress Thread
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barter
Member
Registered: 27th Oct 07
Location: essex
User status: Offline
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lmao the seconds one has got me going,lol
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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What's the fastest thing in Eithiopia??
The bread van.
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charlessurr
Member
Registered: 15th May 05
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
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How low can we go?
Whay doesn't michael barrymore have ashtrays in his house?
He puts his fags out in the pool
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p4uls corsa
Member
Registered: 2nd May 05
Location: BRADFORD
User status: Offline
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John darwin has walked in to a police station after being missing presumed dead for 5 years.
He said thas the last time he goes on holiday with the mCcans.
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nova_gteuk
Member
Registered: 15th May 02
Location: South Wales Drives: The Bandwagon
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by p4uls corsa
John darwin has walked in to a police station after being missing presumed dead for 5 years.
He said that's the last time he goes on holiday with the mCcans.
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Nick-S
Member
Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
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CorsaSriLad
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charlessurr
Member
Registered: 15th May 05
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
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What have Diana and the Queen mother got in common?
They both died at 101
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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i bought a teddy for £10 and sold it for £20, i'm now scared that someone is after me for making a prophet.
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silent_thunder89
Member
Registered: 26th Mar 07
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by CorsaSriLad
A man walks into Asda.
Slaps his circumcised penis on the counter and says
"I bet you cant fucking roll that back"
classic
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Alex16v
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 06
Location: Chester Drives: Civic ep3 final edition
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by nova_gteuk
quote:
Originally posted by p4uls corsa
John darwin has walked in to a police station after being missing presumed dead for 5 years.
He said that's the last time he goes on holiday with the mCcans.
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Craig W
Member
Registered: 31st Oct 00
User status: Offline
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How do you kill 50 flys?
Hit Mango the Zambien in the face with a shovel.
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Dione J
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 04
Location: West Midlands Drives: Leon Cupra Turbo
User status: Offline
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They call him Ricky "hitman" hatton but saturday night.........
He just got HIT MAAANNNN!!
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Dione J
They call him Ricky "hitman" hatton but saturday night.........
He just got HIT MAAANNNN!!
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Ash_EP3
Member
Registered: 15th May 07
Location: Melksham, Wiltshire
User status: Offline
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--- this was from a text my girlfriend received ---
A Muslim dies everytime this message is passed on
So send as many as you can so we can enjoy a 'white' christmas
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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What's the difference between Madeline Mcann & Madeline Mccan jokes?
Madeline Mccann jokes will get old.
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Ash_EP3
Member
Registered: 15th May 07
Location: Melksham, Wiltshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Whittie
What's the difference between Madeline Mcann & Madeline Mccan jokes?
Madeline Mccann jokes will get old.
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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Ash_EP3
Member
Registered: 15th May 07
Location: Melksham, Wiltshire
User status: Offline
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What do you think is the deal with the whole McCann situation?
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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I think with the amount of time she's had with the press & the amount of people that have seen her picture / know her face, she would of been found if she was alive IMO.
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