Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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First email I have had in about 5 years that actually made me laugh, heard some before but some of them are classic.
She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back>>
Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan>>
Had mair hauns up her than sooty!>>
Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a thistle.>>
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.>>
I wouldn't ride her into battle.>>
Mair chins than a chinese phone book>>
She smells like an alkies carpet>>
It's like shaggin a pail of water.>>
She's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher>>
Fanny like a ripped out fireplace>>
Face like a sand blasted tomato>>
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant>>
She's seen more helmets than Hitler>>
Face like a stuntman's knee>>
She's seen more cockends than weekends>>
Its like throwing a sausage up a close>>
A left her wi a face like a painter's radio>>
Fanny like a clowns pocket>>
She's that ugly no' even a sniper would take her out>>
I bet she's got a fanny like a pub carpet>>
More pricks than a second hand dartboard.>>
Face like a blind joiners thumb>>
Even the tide wouldnt take her out>>
Got more finger prints on her than scotland yard>>
Got a fanny like a gutted trout>>
Got a fanny like a burst couch>>
Shes had more seamen than saltcoats>>
Does yer da have a beard or was that yer maw doing handstands at thewindae again?>>
Shes seen mare stiffs than Quincy!>>
Shes seen mare cokes than a bottle of bacardi!>>
Shes got a face like a treble 20!
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corsa_sean
Member
Registered: 11th Mar 08
Location: aberdeen
User status: Offline
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ha ha there quality ive actualy used i fair few i still ove the classic
i wouldnt ride that into battle
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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I love the
"Even a sniper wouldn't take her out"
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Sam
Moderator Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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"Face like a sand blasted tomato"
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Dav
Member
Registered: 23rd Jul 02
Location: Falkirk, Scotland
User status: Offline
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Heard most of them used before. I love the "fanny like a ripped out fireplace" one
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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Even a Sniper wouldn't take her out LMAO!
It's like shaggin a pail o' water
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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She's got a face that could make an onion cry.>> thats my fav
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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I use those on a regular basis.
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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suuuuuuure your not even scottish...
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Theham85
Member
Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Lawrah
I use those on a regular basis.
Towards customers that don't give you tips?
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by sand-eel
suuuuuuure your not even scottish...
What am I ?
What is this? Brother Abuse ?
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Ellis
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 07
Location: Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline
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I'd say a good 50% of those are in my regular vocabulary...
Although; "Face like a sand blasted tomato" cracks me up
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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korean/ egyption
the internet
he is no longer ma brother...
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Theham85
Member
Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by sand-eel
korean/ egyption
the internet
he is no longer ma brother...
Obviously you cannot be my Brother as no relation of mine would spell Egyptian wrong !
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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just cos u sucked off a orse
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Graham88
Member
Registered: 16th Apr 07
Location: South East Kent Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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I need to remember some of those
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Skylined
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
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face like a painters radio is good
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col
Member
Registered: 1st May 08
Location: cumbria
User status: Offline
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She's that ugly no' even a sniper would take her out>>
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Matt L
Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
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'She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back'
made me fucking
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Skylined
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
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My mate came up with a good one the other day
I asked him about this bird he was poking....he replied
"It was like throwing a wand down a corridor"
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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'Fanny like the top of a welly'
One of my personal faves.
Best one there's gotta be:
'Does yer da have a beard or was that yer maw doing handstands at thewindae again?'
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wilson_sri
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 04
Location: Dunfermline Drives: Technics 1210s
User status: Offline
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haha some crackers iv never heard before in there.
Another good one is
"youv a face like a melted welly"
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Seany
Member
Registered: 13th Dec 06
Location: Dunfermline, Fife : Drives Astra cdti Sri
User status: Offline
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she's got a fanny like a wizards sleeve
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jamied
Member
Registered: 27th Oct 03
Location: Marbella,Spain Drives: C63
User status: Offline
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you talking to me or chewing a brick
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Gareth F
Member
Registered: 16th Jan 08
Location: Location Location
User status: Offline
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One from me is "shes got a face like a bag of smashed crabs" No idea where it came from but it stuck with us
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