Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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So the next night - the dwarf goes back to the woman from the night before except this time he's carrying a little suitcase.
As the woman lies back on the bed, preparing herself for a bit of a quiet night, the dwarf opens his suitcase and takes out four little peices of coiled spring.
He attaches one each to his feet and one each to his hands. Standing up, slightly unsteadily, he bounces first up onto the bed and then onto the awaiting woman.
Up and down, up and down he goes until finally the pair climax in a shower of bodily fluids.
As they smoke a post-coital cigarette, the woman turns to the dwarf and says "Wow, little fella, that was the most amazing sex I've ever experienced! But a somewhat unusual technique. What do you call it?"
"Well, its a german method" replies the dwarf, " It's four-sprung-dwarf-technique"
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Nath
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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Oliver, I thought you knew better. 
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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if i could stay the punch line i would use that joke later but i'm a spacker and can't get that combination of words out.
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
if i could stay the punch line i would use that joke later but i'm a spacker and can't get that combination of words out.
You can't even spell it
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RyanSxi
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Registered: 26th Jul 06
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Isn't there a similar joke with a duck instead of a dwarf.
Four-Sprung-duck-technique or some rubbish
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Eck
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
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Oh lord the irony about mis-typed comments Robbo
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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I have some absolutely horrendous ones here
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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Rob mate, you are the last person who should be correcting peoples spelling......
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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I tried to kill my ex by sending her a sandwich laced with domestos and cillit bang. I narrowly escaped a murder charge, but they cautioned me for bleach of the piece..... no? no? anyone....?
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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Couldn't help myself  Besides I can spell just fine, I just can't type for shit...
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Cosmo
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Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
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I expected much better from this thread
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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didn't have to look far to find proof mate:
quote:
I have a lot of trouble sleepign alos but its due to things I ahve on my mind more than anythign else
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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What did C:\DARTHVADER say to C:\DARTHVADER\LUKESKYWALKER?
'I am your Folder.
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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i like that
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Michael Barrymore was asked earlier this month whether he would be prepared to appear in panto this year. The erstwhile star declined, saying 'I did Aladdin a few years back, and I never heard the last of it'.
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
I tried to kill my ex by sending her a sandwich laced with domestos and cillit bang. I narrowly escaped a murder charge, but they cautioned me for bleach of the piece..... no? no? anyone....?
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
What did C:\DARTHVADER say to C:\DARTHVADER\LUKESKYWALKER?
'I am your Folder.
Nothing, because a question mark is not a valid character to use as part of a name, and therefore C:\DARTHVADER\LUKESKYWALKER? could not exist.
Meeeehhhhhhhhh [/g33k]
[Edited on 05-01-2009 by CorsAsh]
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Copy and pasted my good German brethren
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Quasimodo hobbles into a bar, and asks for a shot of whisky.
The barman asks, "Bells alright?"
Quasimodo says,
"MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS."
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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That's good.
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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A man starts work at the zoo as a zoo keeper. It's quite a big zoo, and so they give the keepers golf buggies to drive around in. On his his first day, the man is in the aviary and, not being able to drive the buggy very well, reverses into a tree, killing a chaffinch. Nervous that he'll get found out and sacked, he picks up the dead chaffinch, drives to the lion enclosure and throws the body over the wall.
Later he's in the monkey house and, again losing control of the buggy, he hits some chimpanzees, killing them stone dead. Again, he picks up the dead bodies, drives to the lion enclosure and throws them over the wall.
Next, he's in the insect house and reverses right over a beehive, squashing all the bees inside. He gets a bag, picks up the mess of squashed bees, and once again drives to the lion enclosure, throwing the evidence over the wall.
The next day, a new lion arrives at the zoo. He saunters up to one of the lions that already lives there.
"Alright?" he says.
"Hiya" says the other lion.
"What's this place like then?" he asks.
"Not bad" says the other lion.
"Food ok?";
"Yeah it's ok. Yesterday we had finch, chimps and mushy bees."
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Q: How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
A: The hotdogs all taste like shit.
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Two blokes who haven’t seen each other in years bump into each other in the street.
Steve says “Fucking hell John, you look great, looks like you’ve come into a few bob, what are you up to”
John “Well Steve, things have gone good for me lately. I got made redundant and decided to open a brothel with my pay off”
Steve “You dirty bastard, what’s it like?”
J
ohn “Well, it’s a bit different from your average brothel, you see on the first floor we have normal stuff. Loads of women for men to come in and do their business. On the second floor we cater for gays only and on the third floor we cater for paedophiles. Like I said it’s really taken off”
Steve “You cunt that’s disgusting….mind you, you are looking well”
John “Yeah maybe so, but it was hard. When we first started it was just me, the wife and the kids”
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Graham88
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Registered: 16th Apr 07
Location: South East Kent Drives: E46 M3
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^^^^ 
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