gavin18787
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
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HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband
or boyfriend along shopping
This letter was "actually" sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer
in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use
of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is
considering banning you and your family from shopping with us,
unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all
verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department
and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring
sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help
him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just
leave me alone?'
8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.
10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly
humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna
look' using different size funnels.
12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those
voices again.'
And last, but not least:
14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper
in here.'
Drives supercharged Tec with torque  
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Butler
Member
Registered: 2nd Jun 05
Location: London
User status: Offline
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It "actually" wasnt
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dan-sport
Member
Registered: 9th Oct 07
Location: Bushbury, West Midlands
User status: Offline
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 some of them are "actually" class
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stu_c
Member
Registered: 11th Dec 07
Location: Westleigh, Greater Manchester
User status: Offline
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im gonna try them next time me and wife go shoppin
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gavin18787
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Butler
It "actually" wasnt
hence the "" I put in 
Drives supercharged Tec with torque
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am4nf
Member
Registered: 27th Jul 08
Location: South Ayrshire Drives: Corsa Sport
User status: Offline
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thats funny, would pish myself if i seen any of that
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dan-sport
Member
Registered: 9th Oct 07
Location: Bushbury, West Midlands
User status: Offline
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this 1 is the best
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.
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*JonnyG*
Member
Registered: 2nd Jun 08
Location: Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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Read that so many times, bloody awesome.
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Wrighty
Member
Registered: 28th Feb 04
Location: Howden
User status: Offline
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funny as
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Rich H
Member
Registered: 26th Oct 05
Location: West Sussex Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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Markus
USER UNDER INVESTIGATION - DO NOT TRADE
Registered: 19th Nov 07
Location: Beverley - East Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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lol
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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Fake! No one can be as daft as me when walking around Tesco's.
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Mike GSi
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 07
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk Drives:Astra VXR
User status: Offline
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12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,
yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
Fucking LOL
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truman69
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 06
Location: mansfield, notts
User status: Offline
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2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
done that b4 in a comet store haha
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Markus
USER UNDER INVESTIGATION - DO NOT TRADE
Registered: 19th Nov 07
Location: Beverley - East Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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in 1 big tesco in hull i set all the digi cameras to auto take a
picture in 1 minute did each one and ran off should
have seen everyone walking by, wonder what they where thinking
[Edited on 17-05-2009 by Markus]
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Kevxx
Member
Registered: 14th May 08
Location: Forfar, Angus
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by J da Silva
Fake! No one can be as daft as me when walking around Tesco's.
sherlock! 
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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Let's face it, nobody at the checkout is going to ask. "By the way, what is your e-mail address just incase we picked your husband up on CCTV being a bit silly".
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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with regards to number 2, me and my mate did something simmilar in wilkinsons last christmas, pressed the "try me" buttons on all the singing and dancing santas / elfs / deers / snowmen ect, should have heard the noise off them
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Carl
Member
Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
User status: Offline
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Someone did all the exact same stuff in Walmart a few years ago.
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Rob H
Member
Registered: 28th Oct 00
Location: Staffordshire Drives: Astra SRi
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mattk
with regards to number 2, me and my mate did something simmilar in wilkinsons last christmas, pressed the "try me" buttons on all the singing and dancing santas / elfs / deers / snowmen ect, should have heard the noise off them
That's the law isn't it - If there's a shelf full of stuff that makes noise when you press the "Try me" button, you have to see if you can get them all going at the same time?  .
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mattk
with regards to number 2, me and my mate did something simmilar in wilkinsons last christmas, pressed the "try me" buttons on all the singing and dancing santas / elfs / deers / snowmen ect, should have heard the noise off them
Did the same in ann summers not long back with all the animal thong pouch things.
Set the lot of them off and ran out of the shop, You should have heared it, there was cow noises, horse, pig the lot, sounded like it was a farmyard
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Bram
Member
Registered: 25th Mar 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
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Complete bollocks 
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Ren
Member
Registered: 16th Oct 04
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by J da Silva
Let's face it, nobody at the checkout is going to ask. "By the way, what is your e-mail address just incase we picked your husband up on CCTV being a bit silly".
Didn't know the cameras had high sensitivity microphones in them either 
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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They must have Ren if they are picking up the man saying "Buy me buy me".
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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Racist 
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