stubs
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Registered: 30th Jun 02
Location: Bolton
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I wont bore you with all the details, but I've been seeing a girl for a short while and on Monday night I gave her a key to my place. I've not asked her to move in, but I did it to prove to her how much I trust and love her  and told her to come round whenever she likes.
I honestly believe she's the one for me this time, I've had a run of bad girlfriends (as well as good ones of course), but we just really work well together and she is everything I've ever looked for in a woman.
Now with my brother having a baby last week, we've both been getting VERY brudy (sp?) and I've expressed that I want to have kids at least before I'm 30 (about 3 years away). She also want this, as she's always wanted to be settled down with kids. She wants to wait a bit longer though to be sure that I'm not going to break her heart (I see sense in this and kinda feel the same myself), as her last fella made loads of promises etc and got her hopes up.
So how long have people waited in the past before making the babies?  (planned of course) Obviously we will do it when we both feel ready about it, but I'm just interested to hear other people's stories
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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how long have you been with her?
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gez bay
Member
Registered: 14th Feb 08
Location: South Wales drives: Vxr
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how long do you mean by short while?
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
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I was with my ex for 3 months before she got pregnant, won't bore you with the details but that ended in divorce
Me and my current mrs have been together 15 months, have been living together for 4 months and she's 15 weeks pregnant
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mattk
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Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
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you catholic by any chance joe?
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Conway563
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Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
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First was naivety and thinking my ex was "the one". This time wasn't planned but not unwelcome
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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Your all fucking mad.
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Joe
Member
Registered: 20th Jun 04
Location: Hesketh Bank, Lancashire
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At what point do you think we will have kids Laura?
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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Man imagine the kids laura is going to have.
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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quote:
Originally posted by Joe
At what point do you think we will have kids Laura?
Im not entirely sure Joe, possibly when we have settled into our own place, have a stable income and are mature enough to bring up children. Possibly even wait for marrage, but Im not a great believer in that.
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Joe
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Registered: 20th Jun 04
Location: Hesketh Bank, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Lawrah
quote:
Originally posted by Joe
At what point do you think we will have kids Laura?
Im not entirely sure Joe, possibly when we have settled into our own place, have a stable income and are mature enough to bring up children. Possibly even wait for marrage, but Im not a great believer in that.
Oh, I was hoping we could go on a couple of dates and then we could start trying?! I guess I was way off the mark!
Women! 
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gtitim
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Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: the boonies
User status: Offline
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Been together 7 yrs, married 3. got married in September, she fell pregnant in the February. By choice - planned. Now have a 22 month old and haven't looked back. It's bloody hard - mrs works part-time, we get no help from the Government ie tax credits other than family allowance of £80 a month. Kids are very expensive in terms of costs and loss of income ie maternity pay then??? afterwards, nursery @40 a day etc etc, but worth it all.
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willay
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Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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i'd also like to start 'trying'
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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Sorry Pal.
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a_j_mair
Member
Registered: 23rd Jan 04
Location: Scotland
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i was seeing the missus for 3 or 4 months before she fell pregnant, had known each other for 18 months or so before that
wasnt planned but was best thing to ever happen
we bought a house when she was 3 months gone, daughter was 1 last friday
best thing in the world
Alot of people want to wait untill they are ready etc etc
Having a stable income and family home etc yes you can get ready for that but i dont know if it is something i would personally ever have been ready for emotionaly with the complete change in life style etc
I would like another sooner rather than later so i am young enough to be able to enjoy time with them
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willay
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Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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3-4 months! jesus.
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andys sxi
Premium Member
Registered: 19th Jan 06
Location: Chester Drives:Scirocco tdi bluemotion
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i have been with my gf for 4 years. going from some of the things in here i should have about 4 kids now lol not a chance im 2 younge to even think bout having kids
April 08 feature car
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a_j_mair
Member
Registered: 23rd Jan 04
Location: Scotland
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yep. was a little unexpected
when i say seeing i mean together really
were seeing each other for about 6 months before that
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John
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 03
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Not until I'm in a house with enough money to support a kid in the way I'd like.
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Daimo B
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Registered: 20th Mar 00
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Been with my Missis nearly 10 years.
Planned to have kids before we were 30, but thats been put off till before we're 35.
IMO, if you haven't got a hugley stable relationship, theres a high chance of seperation/divorce. This will mean a broken up family, something i've been through myself, and never want my future children to endure.
Also, I want to have my life before bringing another into this world, hence why I disagree with such young pregnencies, as they are still kids themselfs.
But this is me and my partner, others are different.
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mwg
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Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by John
Not until I'm in a house with enough money to support a kid in the way I'd like.
exactly... hence I am not a father although I could of been at one point
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a_j_mair
Member
Registered: 23rd Jan 04
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by VXR
Been with my Missis nearly 10 years.
Planned to have kids before we were 30, but thats been put off till before we're 35.
IMO, if you haven't got a hugley stable relationship, theres a high chance of seperation/divorce. This will mean a broken up family, something i've been through myself, and never want my future children to endure.
Also, I want to have my life before bringing another into this world, hence why I disagree with such young pregnencies, as they are still kids themselfs.
But this is me and my partner, others are different.
I agree with what you are saying with regards to seperation and divorce etc
something that i would never want to be involved in
I also agree with people having kids when they are just kids themselfs
Do you not think 35 is quite old though??
you will be 50 by the time they are 15
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stubs
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Registered: 30th Jun 02
Location: Bolton
User status: Offline
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@ willay & gez, we've been together properly only for a couple of months. I've known her for years though, and neither of us have kids or been married before.
I think part of this feeling "ready" is that I'm in a very good job with great prospects albeit not exactly what I'd love to do, but I'm happy and secure. She isn't going to move in with me just yet, but I hope that will be changed by this time next year.
I don't want to rush things any quicker than we both feel we're ready for, but we are madly in love with each other and things feel so right. I've done the puppy love stuff before, and had a mortgage with one of my ex's and all along it didn't quite feel right, so I know for sure this time it's not just because it's early days... This is the 1st time in my life I've ever wanted kids, and it's not just because my brother's just had one, cos he had his 1st boy when I was living with my ex... she wanted kids and I didn't.
Life's so crazy at times
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Daimo B
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Registered: 20th Mar 00
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by a_j_mair
Do you not think 35 is quite old though??
you will be 50 by the time they are 15
tbh I don't think 50 is that old, and theorectically i'll be older, better wage, house paid off, so can give my child/ren a better life than I had.
It is quite old, but fairly common down south due to so many career minded people working in the city and around local areas. I've know quite a few older parents as I was growing up.
Its a good point, you can also say having children young also enables you to enjoy your life when your older, but for us, we wanted to enjoy our life whilst young, going away, have nice holidays, get a house, have a good foundation.
Theres still time for us as well when we're retired. But it totally depends how you want to run your own life really
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stubs
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 02
Location: Bolton
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by a_j_mair
quote:
Originally posted by VXR
Been with my Missis nearly 10 years.
Planned to have kids before we were 30, but thats been put off till before we're 35.
IMO, if you haven't got a hugley stable relationship, theres a high chance of seperation/divorce. This will mean a broken up family, something i've been through myself, and never want my future children to endure.
Also, I want to have my life before bringing another into this world, hence why I disagree with such young pregnencies, as they are still kids themselfs.
But this is me and my partner, others are different.
I agree with what you are saying with regards to seperation and divorce etc
something that i would never want to be involved in
I also agree with people having kids when they are just kids themselfs
Do you not think 35 is quite old though??
you will be 50 by the time they are 15
2 good points by Daimo & AJ..
I don't ever want to be part of a broken family. I've been very fortunate in that my parents are still together and have never shown any signs otherwise. I value a good & healthy family life more than anything.
But as AJ has mentioned, I don't want to be too old when they're growing up.. simply because I would love to be a grandad before I'm too old
Daimo, what do you mean by "having your life" before you have kids? My brother and his wife are loving life more than anything right now
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