SXIBLK
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 10
Location: Barnoldswick
User status: Offline
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Basically HELP ha anyone got a few little punch lines etc or advice looked on net ad they all say the same shit really anyone ??
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barter
Member
Registered: 27th Oct 07
Location: essex
User status: Offline
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could say you herd she was with someone else the night before. would get them on the feet
[Edited on 05-05-2010 by barter]
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SXIBLK
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 10
Location: Barnoldswick
User status: Offline
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someone with shitter jokes than me phew aslong as i stay clear of your advice im sure ill be fine
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barter
Member
Registered: 27th Oct 07
Location: essex
User status: Offline
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lol i got no jokes.shouldnt you make your own????
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Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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my brother got some keys cut and handed them out before his speech on the sly.
said to the girls he handed them out to bring them up to him when he says.
and in his speech went on about how the groom cant be going out and with slags and give them keys to the flat for a lil special time. in fact can you bring the keys up coz i dont think the wifey would appreciate it.
then about 12girls and a guy just come handing keys in.
i lol'd wifey just glared at the groom.
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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I have to do this shit for my brothers wedding next year, i'm going to plan it in plenty of time as a good best man's speech is muchos important imo.
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SXIBLK
Member
Registered: 9th Feb 10
Location: Barnoldswick
User status: Offline
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sure is i dont want to let anyone down got about two week to go
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barter
Member
Registered: 27th Oct 07
Location: essex
User status: Offline
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just think of good times and tak the piss outta the groom.seems to work ok,like they keys idea lol
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Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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My bro and the groom also went to creamfields time ago. and the groom went around in just a monkey thong and aviators
so obviously he had to have a blown up pic for the newlyweds 
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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The wedding was so emotional even the cake is in tears (tieres). 
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GF-91
Banned
Registered: 8th Jul 09
Location: Burnley!
User status: Offline
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Flol 5dr corsa 3dr polo no door bike. 
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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mines on youtube
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MarkSport
Member
Registered: 22nd May 09
User status: Offline
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you could introduce yourself like
Hi I'm (your name) and I'm an alcoholic....then say (shit wrong meeting) rip the pad and carry on with your speech
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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One that one of my cousins did was
"I've prepared a short speech, I won't keep you long"
As he said that he reached into his pocket got a roll of paper out and let it drop to the floor and started reading from it.
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GF-91
Banned
Registered: 8th Jul 09
Location: Burnley!
User status: Offline
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Just get the microphone and say, wanna hear a joke?
Tough shit, I aint got none, this isn't peter Kay on tour; you cheap tossers. 
[Edited on 05-05-2010 by GF-91]
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boylers11
Member
Registered: 27th Jul 06
Location: Shropshire
User status: Offline
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I did this with mine....
[One that one of my cousins did was
"I've prepared a short speech, I won't keep you long"
As he said that he reached into his pocket got a roll of paper out and let it drop to the floor and started reading from it.]
I basically said:
"I must admit to being rather nervous about today's speech and, as it's a family occasion, the last thing I want to do is cause any unnecessary destress by talking in too much detail about Alex's rather colourful past. I therefore decided to edit out anything that may be at all offensive to anyone, so ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much and goodbye!!"
....then I pretended to sit down, then stood back up and began the main speech. Got quite a few laughs, plus it lets everyone know you're a bit nervous, but in a jokey way.
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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ive been really nervous about doing this speech, so i prepared a few lines.
since i snorted them ive felt alot better
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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MarkSport
Member
Registered: 22nd May 09
User status: Offline
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IVI
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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i'll be honest, that didnt go down that great
a few people were confused
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SR91
Member
Registered: 21st Jun 08
Location: Lancashire.
User status: Offline
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Fucking !!
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by GF-91
Flol 5dr corsa 3dr polo no door bike.
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Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by IvIarkgraham
i'll be honest, that didnt go down that great
a few people were confused
FLOL
also my brother said at the start of his speech
'i just want to say a few short words . . . . it, at, on, go, no'
not many people laughed tho.
so prob dont go down that route
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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mines was a great success
have it on video but some was quite personal so would never post it online.
started with i was told that a good best mans speech should last aslong as the groom does in bed.......picked up my glass and said cheers then sat down
room was in stitches, mostly my other brother though who thought it was fucking briliiant
dont tell anyone it before and i mean anyone, loses its affect after the 1st time
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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also practice like fuck, i had the speech infront of me incase i went blank, but tbh i could do it again tomorrow straight from memory because of how hard i practised.
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