Adster
Member
Registered: 8th Jul 10
Location: Leyland, Lancs
User status: Offline
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This is going to sound odd to ask (and i hope i got the right section)
I found out last night the misses is pregnant (yes were keeping it and shes 7 weeks gone)
Shes 18 and im 20.
im just wondering what were any of your reactions when you found out your misses was first pregnant? 
Im scared at the point as this is a big step up in life for me and worried about the financial problems i've had in my past 
But obviously at the same time happy that im going to be a dad.
Any SERIOUS advice?
Cheers guys
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Beato
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Registered: 14th Sep 06
Location: Leven, Fife
User status: Offline
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Start saving
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corsa_sean
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Registered: 11th Mar 08
Location: aberdeen
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I was scared at first but you relise its happening so you just get on with it once you get more stuff and it gets closer to due day you get more excited trust me my missues away to have my second next fri shes 18 im 22
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Twiggy
Member
Registered: 15th Oct 04
User status: Offline
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Awaits "your rich" post lol
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Adster
Member
Registered: 8th Jul 10
Location: Leyland, Lancs
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Twiggy
Awaits "your rich" post lol
LOL 
quote:
Originally posted by corsa_sean
I was scared at first but you relise its happening so you just get on with it once you get more stuff and it gets closer to due day you get more excited trust me my missues away to have my second next fri shes 18 im 22
Cheers mate  Im going in the army soon so thats gunna be abit scary. Its something i didnt expect but hey, end of the day shit happens  Dont wanna get rid of something i created 
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bigron1988
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Registered: 29th Aug 09
Location: Southport, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Awaits John-d
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corsa_sean
Member
Registered: 11th Mar 08
Location: aberdeen
User status: Offline
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Oh and be prepared for the hormoans a mood swings etc had done my head in last few months ha ha
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Adster
Member
Registered: 8th Jul 10
Location: Leyland, Lancs
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by corsa_sean
Oh and be prepared for the hormoans a mood swings etc had done my head in last few months ha ha
I got it anyway when she wasnt pregnant lmao
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baza31
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Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
User status: Offline
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I nearly had heart attack , I remember like it was yesterday the way she told me and spot I was standing in . I lived with my mate for 2.5 years and all was going great . I realised life was gonna change whether I liked it or not .everything was running through my head. I bottled telling my dad for about 2 month , I told my mum who had mixed emotions . At time I was 25 her 18 . It's so hard to know if your ready and when that time is . I've done alot already , travelled for 3 month , lots of lads holidays got myself to where I wanted career wise etc . Also I wanted my parents to have a grandchild. I do think I shpuld of waited a few year so missus could do a bit more but IMO it doesn't stop you doing things , we still have nights out , I don't go out as much but that's because I can't be arsed . My position was ok I owned a house I rented out and also had a roof over my head where I lived with my mate, who a week after I told his lass fell pregnant . We then moved to her parents whilst I did the full house up as it was a typical lads pad . It can put strain on relationship but just get on with it. We didn't find out so was exiting .
Do you have your own house? Prob not at 20 . Job? You'll need a few grand to get set up . When people say they are expensive they ain't . Ok clothing them but we have bought most from supermarket etc few quid. Box of milk last them a week , nappys won't come to a tenner a week. You do grow up in the process . As long as you can afford to have a baby , can put it first and give it a great life then am all for it , if you can't don't have one. Plus they are great , when they smile at you there's no feeling like it .
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baza31
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Jesus didn't realise I wrote that much
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VegasPhil
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Adster
This is going to sound odd to ask (and i hope i got the right section)
I found out last night the misses is pregnant (yes were keeping it and shes 7 weeks gone)
Shes 18 and im 20.
im just wondering what were any of your reactions when you found out your misses was first pregnant?
Im scared at the point as this is a big step up in life for me and worried about the financial problems i've had in my past
But obviously at the same time happy that im going to be a dad.
Any SERIOUS advice?
Cheers guys
Honestly I shit my bum mate, I remember the whole event like yesterday and I was completely in shock. 2008 my life was literally some sort of soap opera that year. It is so awesome when little one arrives though. My lad is three now and I wouldn't change it for the world.
My missus was 18 and I was 21. Were still together and have a house etc.
Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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gtitim
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: the boonies
User status: Offline
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My first arrived 2007. I was 26, her 22. Good job, decent salary, own home. Scared the shit out of me. We went crazy buying this, that, the other. Really there was no need. Spent £2k + more than needed. The hardest thing is adjusting to a wage drop. Maternity pay is ok, but when/if she goes back to work part-time, the price of childcare is frightening. Sometimes its not worth it - learnt the hard way!
Our second is due in the summer. I saved alot of the expensive stuff - car seats, moses basket etc. I reckon it will coast me £250 + clothes to get set up this time. They dont notice if your pram costs £50 off ebay or £400 new, and theres generally no sign of wear anyway. You will be fine - it is hard work, the lack of sleep is awful, and the first few shitty nappies are horrendous, but you get used to it and its the best feeling in the world.
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LeeM
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Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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I'll never understand why people have kids when they're not ready emotionally or financially.
Me and the mrs are fully agreed its not happening for at least 5 years, if ever
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VegasPhil
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by LeeM
I'll never understand why people have kids when they're not ready emotionally or financially.
Me and the mrs are fully agreed its not happening for at least 5 years, if ever
It's not always that simple mate
Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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LeeM
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
User status: Offline
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Contraception and termination 
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gtitim
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: the boonies
User status: Offline
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No matter how much you put it off - if you say you will have kids when you can afford it, you never will. The costs can be scary, but it all comes right in the end.
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taylorboosh
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 07
User status: Offline
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in a similar position although ours was planned..
we rent a house from her dad and both work full time..
just been for our 12 week scan which was fucking awesome... its something to be happy about, not worried.. everyone i speak to seems to think it will cost ££££ but i just cant see how..
£300 covers my half of the house bills at the moment.. apart from food.
i am going to give her an extra £300 a month when the bairns comes... i think this will be more than enough to cloth and feed it whilst having change to do things.. if she needs more she will be given more
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_Allan_
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Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
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Falcon punch....
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baza31
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by john-d
in a similar position although ours was planned..
we rent a house from her dad and both work full time..
just been for our 12 week scan which was fucking awesome... its something to be happy about, not worried.. everyone i speak to seems to think it will cost ££££ but i just cant see how..
£300 covers my half of the house bills at the moment.. apart from food.
i am going to give her an extra £300 a month when the bairns comes... i think this will be more than enough to cloth and feed it whilst having change to do things.. if she needs more she will be given more
Baby won't cost £300 a month . My mrs only gets stat maternity pay , she gets the money for baby that everyone gets . You need to make sure YOU can cover everything . I pay for house , bills , living etc etc . I also buy some baby stuff , might grab few tubs of milk etc if am at supermarket . I'd say for house and bills and bit of living a grand a month .
If I said I wasn't with my lass or she went on dole she would get our house paid for , but am trying (as hard as it is) to get mrs into a good job and get a decent career . It fucks me right off seeing scum bags with a trail of kids behind who society pay for . But that's a whole new debate .
I 'now' wouldn't dream of having an abortion . For many years of different lasses and few slip ups that got sorted , after having a baby and growing up a bit it puts it in a different perspective . Although each to their own
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Gaz
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Registered: 24th Aug 03
Location: Widnes, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Best news I have ever received personally...
Family help a lot where they can and also remember that if they have moans and groans to begin with they will soon fade - if not then they are not worth being in your life.
The baby costs a little to set up with the likes of cots and car seats etc however be sensible and don't blow a budget on "the best pram" when you know you have other things to buy.
my wife is 35 weeks now and blooming. they have weird habits too like "Nesting" and stuff however enjoy her pregnancy, keep a stiff upper lip when times get argumentative (even when you are right) - let her calm and you can talk afterwards.
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baza31
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Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
User status: Offline
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My lass wasn't too bad , although first 4 months after she found it hard . I don't change nappies really odd time, I'll feed her if am there. I also don't do the nite shift ,or ever really have done which is prob out of order . I am up at 6 for work and generally back in about 8ish.I know I should do more really in that sense but i provide and so far have managed to give the 3 of us a nice lifestyle
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scottyp1989
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Registered: 29th Jul 07
Location: Warley, West Midlands
User status: Offline
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As said it makes you grow up a hell of a lot. You will normally find the people who say it cost loads to bring up a kid are the people who normally have no children. First setting up and buying everything new can be expensive but they grow up that quick second hand stuff is still usually in mint condition if it has been looked after. We are expecting our second this year. We spent roughly 1k tops on buying everything we neede first time round and quite a bit of what we bought never got used because he grew out of it to quick.
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baza31
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 03
Location: yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Moral of point is you and your lass and baby will do what works for yourselves . Every circumstance is different . Just enjoy good bits and forget about the rest
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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give it a shot. nothing to loose.
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Adster
Member
Registered: 8th Jul 10
Location: Leyland, Lancs
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Gaz
The baby costs a little to set up with the likes of cots and car seats etc however be sensible and don't blow a budget on "the best pram" when you know you have other things to buy.
thats my one fear. Misses mums actually just had another baby (yes her mum had her when she was young) and they're a pretty rich family. Dad owns a company, shes constantly spoilt on designer clothes etc (it annoys the hell out of me at times but hey she makes me happy) Hoping that she doesnt get influenced from her mum with the high spending 
Rather funny couple if im honest. Rich family girl dating a common northen lad with long hair that listens to heavy metal and drives a modified corsa
But serriously cheers for all the advice everyone. You've really helped me big time in this. I really am proud that i am going to be a father (even though it was REALLY unexpected)
I'll try give updates on how everything goes. She said to me she wanted a natural birth today (her mum had a c-section with her last child. Hes about 2 week old)
Thanks so much 
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