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Author Starting a new toilet roll - fiddly as fuck
evilrob
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Registered: 16th Mar 12
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9th Nov 14 at 15:42   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Come on, science - sort it out, mate!

I'd expect it from a cheapy roll, but this was actually a posh 'Puppies on a Roll' jobby - was on offer, making the price per sheet comparable with the stuff that's liable to finger breach if you don't quadruple-up (thereby using several times as much in one, err, 'sitting' and eroding the apparent upfront savings made by buying it in the first place).

In any case - Andrex is equally as much faff to get going. We can't go on like this - there HAS to be a better way!

Instead of the No More Nails adhesive they apparently use to glue the loose sheet down before being packed, I propose they use that stuff on the back of a Post-It Note.

Who's with me?
Gary
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9th Nov 14 at 15:44   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

You have far too much spare time on your hands
Ben G
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9th Nov 14 at 15:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Always use up shitloads at the start trying to get the roll to come away from the rest. Shit design.

Never buy cheap loo roll. False economy and everyone who uses your toilet knows you're a cheapskate.

[Edited on 09-11-2014 by Ben G]
_Allan_
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9th Nov 14 at 16:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Gary
You have far too much shit on your hands


I just use real puppies then give em a bath afterwards.
evilrob
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9th Nov 14 at 17:33   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Gary
You have far too much spare time on your hands

Says the guy who replied within two minutes!
evilrob
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9th Nov 14 at 17:34   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Ben G
Always use up shitloads at the start trying to get the roll to come away from the rest.

Glad I'm not the only one.

quote:
Originally posted by Ben G
Shit design.

No pun intended?

[Edited on 09-11-2014 by evilrob]
Ben G
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9th Nov 14 at 17:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Completely accidental mate
Kyle T
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9th Nov 14 at 18:01   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Dunk it in some water, then just wipe up with the mush.

Cleaner bum, no fucking around - you'll go through some loo roll though.


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BeetleGav
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9th Nov 14 at 19:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Just started a new roll. Took about a second to unravel. No wastage. Pro.

(Having a steaming shit while I post)
mattievRS
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9th Nov 14 at 19:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Izal bog roll is where it's at.

[Edited on 09-11-2014 by mattievRS]
Ben G
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9th Nov 14 at 19:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Kyle T
Dunk it in some water, then just wipe up with the mush.

Cleaner bum, no fucking around - you'll go through some loo roll though.


The fuck

Toilet roll/wet wipe hybrid wiping is where it's at.
evilrob
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9th Nov 14 at 19:42   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by BeetleGav
Just started a new roll. Took about a second to unravel. No wastage. Pro.

(Having a steaming shit while I post)

Brand?
baza31
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9th Nov 14 at 19:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Use kitchen roll instead
Stu_22
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10th Nov 14 at 10:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I had to use bathroom antiseptic cleaning wipes the other day as nothing else was to hand after the roll finished
evilrob
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10th Nov 14 at 10:53   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Bet that was a bit sting-y on the old ringer!

"Hi, I'm Barry Scott - BANG! And the turd is gone."

On the flip side, must have been sparkling afterwards! Every cloud and that...
evilrob
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10th Nov 14 at 10:55   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by baza31
Use kitchen roll instead

Good idea - why not finish off with wire wool and sandpaper?
baza31
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10th Nov 14 at 11:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I wouldn't go that far . Did you never have to use the old 'tracing paper' toilet roll at school? I haven't seen that stuff for a long time thankfully.
Ian
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10th Nov 14 at 12:41   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Tell you what really pisses me off, when you take a piece either at the start or part way through a roll and it rips along the roll not across it.
SVM 286
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10th Nov 14 at 15:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Now i've stopped laughing at ''finger breach'', yes Rob, that's a sound idea Chief. Get down the patent office!
SVM 286
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10th Nov 14 at 15:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Gary
You have far too much spare time on your hands


...and poo.
evilrob
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10th Nov 14 at 15:30   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Ian
Tell you what really pisses me off, when you take a piece either at the start or part way through a roll and it rips along the roll not across it.

YES!! (I assume you mean when it splits along the ply and you end up with two half-thickness ribbons of toilet paper hanging all over the place)

[Edited on 10-11-2014 by evilrob]
evilrob
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10th Nov 14 at 15:30   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by SVM 286
Now i've stopped laughing at ''finger breach'', yes Rob, that's a sound idea Chief. Get down the patent office!

good to have you on board!
SVM 286
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10th Nov 14 at 15:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

My pleasure Sir

Got some frikkin awesome toilet paper at the mo btw!
sc0ott
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20th Nov 14 at 20:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Charmin toilet roll has a bigger flab at the beginning. One little pull and you're on your way. Andrex is one of the worst for starting off.
evilrob
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20th Nov 14 at 21:09   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by sc0ott
Charmin toilet roll has a bigger flab at the beginning. One little pull and you're on your way. Andrex is one of the worst for starting off.

Nice one - cheers for the heads up! Looks like my next bog roll purchase will be Charmin then.

Will report back with findings.

[Edited on 20-11-2014 by evilrob]

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