sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot.
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sand-eel
Member
Registered: 15th Mar 07
Location: carluke/braidwood--IRNBRULAND
User status: Offline
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(this has bound to be said but....)
What do you say when you see your tv floating in the night?
"Drop it nigger"
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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whats silver,2ft tall and stands at the end of an 8 yr olds bed?
gary glitters boots.
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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An irishman is walking down the street one night when a prostitute says to him " do ya fancy a bit of that" and lifts her skirt up to show crotchless panties and fanny." fuck that" says the paddy " have you seen what its done to your knickers
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Camo
Member
Registered: 1st Mar 09
Location: Norn Iron
User status: Offline
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A Doctor was asked why they dont give smear test to women over 70??
He replied have you ever tried separating a cheese toastie
lol
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Whats got 4 legs and stronger than superman?
Christopher Reeves's horse
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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that's a belter Danny
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Kieran
Premium Member
Registered: 12th Sep 08
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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why did humpty dumty push his girl friend off the wall?
To see her crack. 
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Cole
Member
Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: eastbourne Drives:zafira sold now a qashqai
User status: Offline
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All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
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Whats got 27 feet and 13 eyes?
The dole office queue.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Jade Goody has been portrayed by the media as a heroine for raising awareness about cervical cancer, in spite of the fact that she forgot to have a smear test.
Last year, I forgot to turn off an unlit oven before leaving for work. The ensuing explosion killed my wife and three children.
Was I portrayed by the media as a hero for raising awareness about gas safety?
Was I f**k.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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I had a German plumber round the other day to fix my shower.
He accidentally connected the gas supply to the water supply.
I guess old habits die hard.
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james_suffolk1
Member
Registered: 1st Mar 08
Location: NUNEATON CV10
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Bonney66
I had a German plumber round the other day to fix my shower.
He accidentally connected the gas supply to the water supply.
I guess old habits die hard.
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james_suffolk1
Member
Registered: 1st Mar 08
Location: NUNEATON CV10
User status: Offline
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An Irishman wins the lottery and goes to claim his winnings.
Congratulating him they tell him they will have to pay him the millions in 3 weekly instalments.
With that the Irishman replies if your gonna fuck me about I’ll have me quid back.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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I’ve just been to the doctors and he has confirmed that I have swine Flu.
I have come out in rashers, the docs given me oinkment for the crackling in my ear but to top it all, I got the trotts now.
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james_suffolk1
Member
Registered: 1st Mar 08
Location: NUNEATON CV10
User status: Offline
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A Paki a Nigger and a Jew walk into a bar.
My crowbar
Got a voting leaflet through the door today for the BNP
Guess who delivered it ?
A fucking paki !!
Un-fucking-believable !
60,000 assylum seekers have found work in britain in the past year
50% work in the premiership
What's the difference between a brummie and a Jumbo Jet?
A Jumbo Jet stops whining when it lands in Malaga.
This 13-year-old boy who fathered a child with a 15-year-old girl... I'm just trying to work something out.
Is the 13-year-old a paedophile for shagging a 15-year-old girl?
Is the 15-year-old girl a paedophile for shagging a 13-year-old boy?
...or am I a paedophile for filming the conception?
I wonder how long it'll take Harvey to realise Peter is missing...
I was sad to hear the news that Katie Price and Peter Andre were splitting up today.
Peter must be distraught, they're such a great pair.
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modded_corsa
Member
Registered: 9th May 03
Location: Middlesbrough
User status: Offline
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whats pink and fluffy?
pink fluff...
whats blue and fluffy?
pink fluff holding its breath
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Ellis
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 07
Location: Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by james_suffolk1
I wonder how long it'll take Harvey to realise Peter is missing...
That's a belter
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_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
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What do you get if you cross the Atlantic ocean with a French airbus?....
about half-way 
[Edited on 04-06-2009 by _Allan_]
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Whats hit more balls than Beckhams feet?
Elton Johns chin.
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Ash_sx125
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: rotherham
User status: Offline
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David Blaines Record for a 'celebrity' doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has just been broken.
By Jade goody.
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FAZ
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Nov 07
Location: Coventry
User status: Offline
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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noshua
Member
Registered: 19th Nov 08
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ash_sx125
David Blaines Record for a 'celebrity' doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has just been broken.
By Jade goody.
lol! got that in a text yesterday, didn't go down too well at work mind 
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Richardhhha
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 07
Location: Croydon, Greater London
User status: Offline
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After it was announced katie price and peter andre are to seperate katie said she would miss the familie holidays they shared, the tv specials they made, and the championship, peter said he would miss the titwanks and watching the fat cod eyed coon walk into the wall.....
whats even better than nailing a paki to a wall with rusty 9" nails?
realising his not level and having to do it again..
what do you call a midwife that refuses to deliver niggers and muslims?
a crime prevention officer
sorry a bit racist
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