alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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A recent study asked a group of women if their cunts twitched after sex.
98% said 'No, he just lays there scratching his balls'
[Edited on 04-09-2009 by alan-g-w]
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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Seems most men are in favour of the muslim full face veil.
It solves the age old problem of where to wipe your dick after a blow job.
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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Shit myself last night.
I was at the airport having a beer when a fucking muslim rushed in screaming
allah
allah
allah
allah
alava can on of coke and a bag of nuts please.
Stuttering bastard
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Bart
Member
Registered: 19th Aug 02
Location: Midsomer Norton, Bristol Avon
User status: Offline
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I had some charity do gooders asking me to donate clothes to the starving Africans.
I told them to FUCK right off.....
Any African who fits in my clothes isnt fucking starving!
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Bump
What's black and doesn't work?
Patrick Swayze's pancreas.
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Ash_sx125
David Blaines Record for a 'celebrity' doing fuck all in a box for 42 days has just been broken.
By Jade goody.
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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Danny 
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Why won't Patrick Swayze be going to the Oscars next year?
Because he's a shit actor.
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sc0ott
Member
Registered: 16th Feb 09
User status: Offline
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he was..... ?
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Copy and pasted from sickipedia, go and be pedantic to them 
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Reecemac
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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All i have to say on the matter of Patrick Swayze being dead is that it has to be a lie. Nobody puts Patrick in the coroner.
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ScubaSteve
Member
Registered: 4th Mar 08
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Reecemac
All i have to say on the matter of Patrick Swayze being dead is that it has to be a lie. Nobody puts Patrick in the coroner.
Buhahahaha! 
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mark_gsi
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 03
Location: Peterlee/darlington
User status: Offline
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An old lady being examined by a doctor who asks her " have you ever been bedridden?" the old lady smiles " indeed i have & ive been table ended , spit roasted & back skuttled a few times 2"
Ferraris f1 team manager decided 2 empoy some scouse teenagers as thier new pit crew. this was becasue of their renowned skill when removing car wheels quickly. at the 1st practice session, not only did they change all 4 wheels in 6 seconds but, with in 12 seconds they had it re=sprayed re-badged and sold the fucker to the mcLaren team for 8 cases of stella, a bag of weed and some pictures of jamiltons's bird getting shagged up the arse.
As its school hols me being a big kid decided to join in a water fight with the paki kids next door, as soon as the kettle has boiled, I'll be out there
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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Why does Doyle like twenty five year olds? 
Because there is twenty of them.
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's black.
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LiamWorthington
Member
Registered: 12th Feb 09
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
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whats red and crawls up womens legs?
a home sick abortion
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LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by LiamWorthington
whats red and crawls up womens legs?
a home sick abortion
that it just wrong
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Graham88
Member
Registered: 16th Apr 07
Location: South East Kent Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by LiamWorthington
whats red and crawls up womens legs?
a home sick abortion
Fpmsl!!
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Benkid
Member
Registered: 16th Mar 09
Location: Wokingham
User status: Offline
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Some scortchers on here.
Whats white with blue stripes, and thrashes across the floor?
A baby in a plastic bag
Whats yellow, and blows bubbles?
A peeled baby in a bucket of salt.
What do you do if your baby starts spitting?
Turn the heat down to about gas mark 4
Whats the definition of ecstacy?
The sound of a 3 year olds pelvis cracking.
Whats more fun than spinning a baby around on a washing line?
Stoppin it with a spade.
What goes black white, black white, black white, red?
A nun falling down a cliff.
What has a head, 4 legs and flies?
A pig's head on a bar stool.
What has 2 legs and flies?
Half a dog.
How do you get 4 queers on a bar stool?
Turn it upside down.
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P1CK4D
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 06
Location: Around Essex Somewhere
User status: Offline
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These are fucking brilliant!
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LiamWorthington
Member
Registered: 12th Feb 09
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
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hope no1 takes this 1 to heart.....
Whats black and got 27 tits??
a bin back outside the cancer clinic 
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LiamWorthington
Member
Registered: 12th Feb 09
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
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got a few more ere lol....
What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?
Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.
How can you tell if its your turn to do the washing up?
Look down your trousers and if you've got a dick it isn't your turn
A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps
So the doctor examines her and does some tests and says "you're going to have to looking forward to the idea of long sleepless nights full of crying and changing napies"
"Why? Am I Pregnant?"
"no" the doctor replies, you've got bowel cancer
What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with burst arm bands
What's white and lies in a ditch?
A black man who's had the shit beaten out of him.
How do you no wen your wife is dead?
The sex is still the same but the plates start piling up!
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GF-91
Banned
Registered: 8th Jul 09
Location: Burnley!
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by LiamWorthington
got a few more ere lol....
What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?
Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.
How can you tell if its your turn to do the washing up?
Look down your trousers and if you've got a dick it isn't your turn
A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps
So the doctor examines her and does some tests and says "you're going to have to looking forward to the idea of long sleepless nights full of crying and changing napies"
"Why? Am I Pregnant?"
"no" the doctor replies, you've got bowel cancer
How do you no wen your wife is dead?
The sex is still the same but the plates start piling up!
LOL!
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djmattyh
Member
Registered: 20th May 08
Location: Shropshire Drives: 1.6 corsa sport
User status: Offline
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a muslim in our street has doused himself in petrol, set himself on fire and has died. We are having a collection for his family, so far we have 50 litres.
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LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
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