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Author BHP figures, bullshitters and 'chips'
thegsi
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Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
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8th Mar 12 at 16:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by BarnshaW
i was in the petrol station the other month and the young asian guy serving me said

"sick car mate, how much brake is it running? got to be around 700 brake?" , me chuckling getting my money out my pocket thinking he was having a laugh.

looked up and realised he was being serious and had a straight face, i was cracking up driving home anyway


Should of laughed, looked up with a straight face and said "No.... 900 actually"
Dave
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Registered: 26th Feb 01
Location: Lancs
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8th Mar 12 at 17:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

When I had my XE Corsa the local idiot swore blind his 1.6 Golf would be faster because it was a limited edition
Eck
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
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8th Mar 12 at 17:22   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

There's a few dafties around here really.
One guy has a Fiesta TDCi which makes 89bhp at the wheels @ 3,000(ish) but 92bhp at the fly at 3,500(ish)rpm. Didn't know the two figures were calculated at different revs

Another expects low 14's from his "cammed" 1.8 Focus.

I've to expect my Civic to be demolished from a 172bhp Corsa Sport (full interior etc), even though it has 100bhp less

JamesMc
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Registered: 15th Aug 10
Location: Rainham, Kent
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8th Mar 12 at 17:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Dads friend used to have a C20XE Nova and had a few little mods and his neighbour thought because it was old it was slow...

...His corsa didnt even keep up with him and made a shitty excuse along the line of changing gears.
corsadonk
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Registered: 4th Jul 09
Location: Marlborough, Wiltshire
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8th Mar 12 at 18:31   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

A kid that works at the place I take my work van, reckons his brother in-law has a 2.2 Sintra engine that has 300bhp from the factory.

He's also gonna turbo his West coast Saxo, that he's fitting a high comp 16v engine into.

Also a bloke I work with, doesn't think the 1.8t VAG doesn't have 225 hp version from the factory because it's 1.8

mike56gte
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Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
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8th Mar 12 at 18:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

theres a few cars that kick about my area with moron owners that claim its chipped 'n' cammed! oooh please just fuck off! half of them wouldnt know what a camshaft was if they were hit in the puss with it.
Adam_B
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Registered: 13th Dec 00
Location: Lancashire
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8th Mar 12 at 18:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Working in a parts place conversations like this are a daily occurance

The really good ones are when they start telling you stuff about your own car that you didn't know, some of my favourites are 'There alright them Vauxhalls but the elise is better cos its rear wheel drive' and 'my mrs has one of them but the electric roof keeps going fucked'
Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
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8th Mar 12 at 18:57   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Eck
There's a few dafties around here really.
One guy has a Fiesta TDCi which makes 89bhp at the wheels @ 3,000(ish) but 92bhp at the fly at 3,500(ish)rpm. Didn't know the two figures were calculated at different revs




tbf i never knew/noticed they were done at seperate revs.
FlaFFy_91
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Registered: 30th Sep 08
Location: Formby, Merseyside
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8th Mar 12 at 19:06   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Haha had a chap at the local petrol station tell me that my 1ltr polo must have a seperate 50 ltr "race tank" as i filled it up with 40 ltrs and the standard polo's will not take that much. Haha i was like nope standard tank that mate and he was like nah nah nah youve deffo got a "race tank" haha
IvIarkgraham
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Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
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8th Mar 12 at 19:40   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Adam_B
Working in a parts place conversations like this are a daily occurance

The really good ones are when they start telling you stuff about your own car that you didn't know, some of my favourites are 'There alright them Vauxhalls but the elise is better cos its rear wheel drive' and 'my mrs has one of them but the electric roof keeps going fucked'


Just ask them if they can do donuts in reverse
Daveskater
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Registered: 29th Apr 08
Location: Oxford, UK Drives: Jap wagon
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8th Mar 12 at 19:58   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Matt L
quote:
Originally posted by Eck
There's a few dafties around here really.
One guy has a Fiesta TDCi which makes 89bhp at the wheels @ 3,000(ish) but 92bhp at the fly at 3,500(ish)rpm. Didn't know the two figures were calculated at different revs
tbf i never knew/noticed they were done at seperate revs.
They're not, that's the point


Numberwang!

Originally posted by AlunJ
I like you Dave, you are a man of men

Originally Whatapp'd by Neo
Dave's maybe capable of a drive-by cuddle

Look at my pictures
jax28
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Registered: 29th Jan 12
Location: fife
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8th Mar 12 at 20:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Eck
There's a few dafties around here really.
One guy has a Fiesta TDCi which makes 89bhp at the wheels @ 3,000(ish) but 92bhp at the fly at 3,500(ish)rpm. Didn't know the two figures were calculated at different revs

Another expects low 14's from his "cammed" 1.8 Focus.

I've to expect my Civic to be demolished from a 172bhp Corsa Sport (full interior etc), even though it has 100bhp less





Alex get it right! Fiesta 1.4 has 95bhp at wheels and 97bhp at the fly, the dyno he's got is fake!
The focus running "racing" cams from u pull it has ran low 15's but can't get power down & the corsa is running 173bhp lol xx
Eck
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
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8th Mar 12 at 20:32   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

My sincerest apologies toots You'll know better since you're the one that associates with them xx
jax28
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Registered: 29th Jan 12
Location: fife
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8th Mar 12 at 20:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

"boost loading, please wait" ! Ps jealousy gets you no where toots :/ xx
SportBoy
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Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Retford, Nottinghamshire
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8th Mar 12 at 20:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

a few that stick out from when i had my turbo Corsa were some lad telling me a 20xe is faster than a c20let for various stupid reasons, Some lad saying his mate beat me in a race in his Rover 200TD and my missus being told that a fiesta zetec s would be faster to 80mph than my 280bhp corsa because i wouldnt be able to get the power down.
Eck
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
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8th Mar 12 at 20:42   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by jax28
"boost loading, please wait" ! Ps jealousy gets you no where toots :/ xx


Fuck off with that boost loading tripe Jealous of a 1.4 diesel xx
Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
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8th Mar 12 at 20:43   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Daveskater
quote:
Originally posted by Matt L
quote:
Originally posted by Eck
There's a few dafties around here really.
One guy has a Fiesta TDCi which makes 89bhp at the wheels @ 3,000(ish) but 92bhp at the fly at 3,500(ish)rpm. Didn't know the two figures were calculated at different revs
tbf i never knew/noticed they were done at seperate revs.
They're not, that's the point


well....
SportBoy
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Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Retford, Nottinghamshire
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8th Mar 12 at 20:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

i also remeber from back in the day when i had a 20xe in my corsa and some bloke slagging it of going on about how is sierra xr4 was a right weapon ... the day i put the turbo engine in he has a renault 19 convertable and all he had to say about my corsa was its shit its just a corsa. i did lol at the middleaged bald guy in a convertable renault.

[Edited on 08-03-2012 by SportBoy]
Eck
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
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8th Mar 12 at 20:45   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by SportBoy
a few that stick out from when i had my turbo Corsa were some lad telling me a 20xe is faster than a c20let for various stupid reasons, Some lad saying his mate beat me in a race in his Rover 200TD and my missus being told that a fiesta zetec s would be faster to 80mph than my 280bhp corsa because i wouldnt be able to get the power down.


where do people get this information? A 280bhp Corsa only reaching 80 in around 15 seconds
SportBoy
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Registered: 5th Oct 01
Location: Retford, Nottinghamshire
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8th Mar 12 at 20:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

wheel spinz yo
Sunz
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: SE England
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8th Mar 12 at 20:48   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Used to get this with guys on scooters, used to add bore kits to their 125's automatics then say they got 100mph, when they were running normal gearing which wasn't able to go above 73mph.


Is only people as idiotic as themselves that would believe any of their crap.


Rapid is a word they like to use.
bally2010
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Registered: 2nd Mar 10
Location: Manchester Drives: Punto Grande Rides: Runner 17
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8th Mar 12 at 21:07   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Sunz
Used to get this with guys on scooters, used to add bore kits to their 125's automatics then say they got 100mph, when they were running normal gearing which wasn't able to go above 73mph.


Is only people as idiotic as themselves that would believe any of their crap.


Rapid is a word they like to use.


but some scooters can do 100 mph, not to get involved but a friends scooter did 100 mph on standard gearbox, also shiny reds bike did 101mph 1/4 mile

[Edited on 08-03-2012 by bally2010]
Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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8th Mar 12 at 21:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

love this thread reminds me of a guy i used to work with who's dad bought an aston martin yet everytime we drove past his house he was out in it, even at 4am

and he bought an m3, impreza and a mk2 focus rs but no one ever saw them.

my mate in work owns a uk2000 impreza and always bangs on about how quick it is, and if you question whether a lower powered car would beat it, he would argue for half an hour about how it wouldn't.

was a good way to pass the time in work, but also annoying.
Sunz
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: SE England
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8th Mar 12 at 21:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Depends on the scooter.

Gilera runners and typhoons 125 gearing can't do a real 100mph, is why the 180cc runner has different gearing and why so many people either get 180 gearing or malossi gearing for big power scooters.

My old bike was about 26bhp on 125 gearing and wouldn't go above 73mph gps speed, said 90+ clock speed.
BeArDy
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Registered: 7th Aug 00
Location: Manchester
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8th Mar 12 at 21:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Common one i hear at least once a week from customers -

quote:

"You Have Never Been In One This Quick"





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