brebaz
Member
Registered: 11th Dec 09
Location: newcastle
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by FlaFFy_91
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Originally posted by SteveoBC
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Originally posted by andy_mk3
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Originally posted by sc0ott
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Originally posted by j10E W
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Originally posted by DansCorsaSXi
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Originally posted by Gaz
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Originally posted by oceansoul
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Originally posted by Bart
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Originally posted by evilrob
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Originally posted by adiohead
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Originally posted by V931_FEF
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Originally posted by James
quote:
Originally posted by Balling
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Tiger
Member
Registered: 12th Jun 01
Location: Leicestershire Drives:Astra VXR
User status: Offline
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50 shades of white dog shit.
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Jamie-C
Member
Registered: 3rd Jun 08
Location: Ballycastle
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by brebaz
quote:
Originally posted by FlaFFy_91
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Originally posted by SteveoBC
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Originally posted by andy_mk3
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Originally posted by sc0ott
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Originally posted by j10E W
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Originally posted by DansCorsaSXi
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Originally posted by Gaz
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Originally posted by oceansoul
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Originally posted by Bart
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Originally posted by evilrob
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Originally posted by adiohead
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Originally posted by V931_FEF
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Originally posted by James
quote:
Originally posted by Balling
Anyone else hopping on the bandwagon? Plenty of meat on board.
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Russ
Member
Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
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50 shades of IvIark Graham
She gazed at her tubby Adonis. The ketchup stains down his 87/88 season rangers away shirt didn't put her off. She knew Glasgow was famous for its knife crime and longed to be stabbed by his 3inch 'blade'. As she walked over he wiped the crumbs from round his mouth with his wotsit stained fingers and clenched his flabby arse cheeks tight in a desperate attempt to stop any more gas leaking out. She spoke to him in a soft voice, her message cut short as she inhaled a mouthful of his flatulence, "hello there handsome". IvI looked behind him, in fear that the new improved and slimmer Nic Barnes hadn't appeared behind him like a hairy ninja. "ffskhrajonxsf grdgjkb frfjn frying pan", fuck knows what he said, that mongrel accent was like hearing a Spanish waiter shouting at a customer for pissing in a flower pot. She didn't care though, if nobody could understand him then nobody would ever find out the shameful truth of what was about to happen. Before he could garble another word she was all over him. Like the pack of donuts he had consumed at bedtime. He fumbled around in his pockets for the wallet he had stole in the hope it contained a Johnny. He was in luck, although there was no condom in the wallet he still had the cling film in his pocket from the fish finger sandwiches Anne had made him. He wrapped it round his sausage and thumbed it inside of her while he desperately tried to picture Lawrah's 'Thread' pictures to sustain his erection. 37 seconds later it was all over. He roared with excitement as if his football team weren't playing in league 12 of the highland south league she got dressed and left, with a beaming smile she strolled back to get Liverpudlian bedsit to get off her tits on heroin so she could forget the whole ordeal til next time.
Was bored. Sorry.
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BarnshaW
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by brebaz
quote:
Originally posted by FlaFFy_91
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Originally posted by SteveoBC
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Originally posted by andy_mk3
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Originally posted by sc0ott
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Originally posted by j10E W
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Originally posted by DansCorsaSXi
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Originally posted by Gaz
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Originally posted by oceansoul
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Originally posted by Bart
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Originally posted by evilrob
quote:
Originally posted by adiohead
quote:
Originally posted by V931_FEF
quote:
Originally posted by James
quote:
Originally posted by Balling
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AlunJ
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 07
Location: Newport
User status: Offline
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50 shades of chav
I had a week to myself, bliss. The kids were all at their respective dads apart from Shakira whose dad was on remand. Luckily her Grandma was home as this time last year she was in Malia on an 18-30. Dwayne wanted me to be a Dominatrix but I couldn't get the gear as the new security guard at Ann Summers was a right git. I had to improvise. I put on my fave black slag wellies and wrapped bin bags around my muffin tops. For the mask I pulled my old black period pants over my head. I looked like gothic Vanessa Feltz attempting a bank job. Dwayne looked well chuffed as he had scored some Viagra off his dealer. I climbed on top but the idiot was asleep. He had bought diazepam my mistake. I tried to get him inside me but it was like trying to push toothpaste back into the tube. Finishing myself on the kids buzz light-year wasn't my finest hour but needs must.
Things have not been going good since the Council found out that Dwayne has moved in. The bastards at the Job Centre cut my benefit. I know we struggle but we've worked out our priorities and mange to buy the finest things in life like our 80 Sovereign Kingsize a week and my Lambrini and Dwaynes Special Brew.
Sitting there eating my Gourmet Pot Noodle and Dwayne playing on the kids Mega Drive I thought I should make a move as he looked so gorgeous in his Lonsdale vest and He-Man pants.
I slowly walked In front of our 50inch plasma and started opening my dressing gown, feeling like £10 and in a good a shape as any Michelin Man.
To my horror Dwayne told me to move out of the way and called me a lazy fat slag...how dare he call me a slag.
I head down to the social and tell them I need more money and put in for a crisis loan. After all this is a crisis. After collecting my money I had to walk back up the High Street!! It's a bloody long walk so I'm glad I wore my fake Uggs. I nip into Primark to by some new skin tight leggings and a vest top. It looks great it gives the impression I have 3 sets of tits and rises up to show a saucy snippet of my stomach and my bulging belly ring. No way could Dwayne resist me now!.
Back home Dwayne is later on the sofa with Tyson our staffy. After changing I slowly bend over In front of him. I just knew my knickers being eaten by my doughy ass showing through my skin tight leggings would get him going! I look over my pig trotter like shoulder and I see Dwayne smile that Weetabix toothed smile of his and knew I was in for a good time.
Within seconds Dwayne had a semi and was trying to smash my back doors in. I was in ecstasy and my body was twitching like I was having a spaz attack but I couldn't have been happier, especially after he treated me to a bottle of Cherry Lambrini and a £3 special from the take away.
After last nights attempt at passion with Dwayne I woke to the sweet smell of b.o, stale smoke and Lynx Africa…..
Dwayne was no where to be seen…..bet he is over that tramps flat I thought to myself.
Only one way to find out. I dig out my best Kappa tracksuit change and before I know it
I'm rushing out the house leaving the kids, I know they would be ok on there own for a few hours as my Chelsea is 8 yrs old and can look after the other 6 kids.
I wish the bus would hurry up so I can see if Dwayne is at that sluts house. I just know she wants my man, I can see why all the women eye up my Dwayne.
Thoughts comes rushing through my mind, I can feel myself getting aroused just thinking of him.
The gorgeous smell of his lynx and how his Lonsdale vests hang off his pastey white chest, he always looks dappa.
Before I know I it I’m outside her block of flats. Dwayne has parked his BMX by the bin shed .
The yellow stained nets are slightly parted by the 3 cats laying on the window ledge and she is walking around smoking a fag with her extensions high up on her head in a banana clip, she’s wearing her velour trackie it’s obvious she has made an effort…
Its hard to see through the smoke but sitting on the settee is Dwayne eating sausages and mash!!!!!
How dare she cook for MY MAN! I’m f@+king fuming …
I bang hard on the window and shouts that I’m gonna knock her out.!
Her face looks inside out from where she is gurning. Dwayne smiles at me and I feel myself still wanting him. How can he sit and eat her sausages when he has got burgers at home??
I even picked up the fancy ones with onions already added in them from Iceland for a quid the other day along with an artic roll.
I tell Dwayne that I wanted to rub the sponge and ice cream all over my gorgeous saggy tits and pigish stomach…Dwayne has now a big brown snaggled tooth smile across his face. We can’t get enough of each other so we have to stop in the bushes for a quick fingering and a tit wank…..
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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How about 50 shades of gay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1P4FKih5TQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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