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Author Sick Joke Thread
Jakey
Premium Member

Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 21:35   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ShEp
What have Gareth gates and Harold Shipman got in common?

Neither of them can finish a sentence.


ShEp
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Registered: 9th Aug 05
Location: Dingwall, Highland
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 21:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Jade goody has said she hasn't told her kids about her illness as she doesn't want them worrying about the 'C' word.

But I'm sure with all the press coverage and kids talking at school, they already know their mum is a 'Cunt'.
ShEp
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Registered: 9th Aug 05
Location: Dingwall, Highland
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 21:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
You've got to hand it to brave Jade goody and fiance Jack who were out shopping for a wedding dress yesterday.

They do a fucking hilarious impersonation of Andy and Lou from Little Britain.
Colin
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Registered: 4th Apr 02
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18th Feb 09 at 21:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Some of these jokes are belters!!
Tommy L
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Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I don't know whether to start with the dead baby jokes or not They are sick
Bonney
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Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
The tone of this thread is already low,
wild_corsa
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Registered: 1st Nov 08
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18th Feb 09 at 22:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
lol
Tommy L
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Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What does a baby do in a microwave?

I don't know i was too busy wanking!
mattk
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Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
how many dead babies can you fit in a shed?

4 more If I sell my bike
Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
abdul dies and goes to heaven
St peter says
"what do you want?"
abdul says
"I'm here for jesus"
St peter turns round ans shouts..
"JESUS! YOUR TAXI IS HERE!"
Tommy L
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Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:35   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?

You don't cum on an apple before you eat it.
Jakey
Premium Member

Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:41   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How do you stop a baby running round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.
Bissmire
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Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 22:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
whats purple? 12 inches long and has women screaming all night?

Cot death



[Edited on 18-02-2009 by Bizzle...]
deano87
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Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 23:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by pip308
abdul dies and goes to heaven
St peter says
"what do you want?"
abdul says
"I'm here for jesus"
St peter turns round ans shouts..
"JESUS! YOUR TAXI IS HERE!"




quote:
Originally posted by corsa_tomtom
What does a baby do in a microwave?

I don't know i was too busy wanking!

quote:
Originally posted by corsa_tomtom
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?

You don't cum on an apple before you eat it.







DannyB
Premium Member

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Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
18th Feb 09 at 23:24   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?








The little boy who lives under my stairs.
Wrighty_1988
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 06
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
19th Feb 09 at 00:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
whats the worst thing about bald pussy.....putting the nappy back on afterwards.


I feel wrong for saying that one.
PaulW
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Registered: 26th Jan 03
Location: Atherton, Greater Manchester
User status: Offline
19th Feb 09 at 00:11   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
what has 2 legs and bleeds alot...
-half a dog

why did the monkey fall out of the tree
-because it was dead

why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
-because it was nailed to the first monkey

why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
-he saw your mum
Skylined
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Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
19th Feb 09 at 00:15   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What did the McCann's get for christmas?


A smaller turkey

--------------------------

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?


so you can come on its face when its on
12vStig
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Registered: 23rd Dec 07
User status: Offline
19th Feb 09 at 02:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
there making a film about john travoltas son...



...saturday night seizure!
Ste
Premium Member

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Registered: 5th Mar 03
Location: Taif, Saudi Arabia
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19th Feb 09 at 03:15   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Whats the difference between 12 dead prostitutes and a ferrari?
















































I haven't got a ferrari in my garage

I would rather lose by a mile because i built my own car, than win by an inch because someone else built it for me.
deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
19th Feb 09 at 09:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by 12vStig
there making a film about john travoltas son...



...saturday night seizure!

willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member

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Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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19th Feb 09 at 09:22   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
all for sicks jokes guys but please no racism. Cheers.
Jakey
Premium Member

Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
19th Feb 09 at 09:33   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?


Aids.
DannyB
Premium Member

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Registered: 6th Feb 08
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19th Feb 09 at 09:35   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How do you make a dead baby float?






Take your foot off of it's head.
Ellis
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 07
Location: Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline
19th Feb 09 at 10:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?





They're both at the bottom of the ocean full of semen

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