harrisp
Member
Registered: 15th Dec 07
Location: Derbyshire
User status: Offline
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What is the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of sand?
You cant unload sand with a pitchfork.
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Ben-B
Member
Registered: 28th Jul 08
Location: the lovely Nottingham
User status: Offline
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This thread - 
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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This thread has highlighted just how deranged the members of CS really are.
Brilliant 
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Bonney66
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humour my plumber has.
I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels.
I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.
Let's see Crimewatch fucking stage a reconstruction of that.
[Edited on 18-02-2009 by Bonney66]
Best joke of the thread!!
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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What the fuck is with the baby jokes, you sick bastards, some of us have brothers/sisters who died at birth  WANKERS.
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by 5dr corsa-3dr_polo
What the fuck is with the baby jokes, you sick bastards, some of us have brothers/sisters who died at birth WANKERS.
Even I draw the line at them.
i have a 5 month old son. 
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Welcome to the internet, enjoy your stay.
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by DannyB
Welcome to the internet, enjoy your stay.
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FruitBooTeR
Member
Registered: 18th Jan 07
Location: Wolverhampton Drives: S15
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by CorSRi_BT
quote:
Originally posted by DannyB
Welcome to the internet, enjoy your stay.
That made me laugh more than some of the jokes
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Tommy L
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
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You have to remember that they are jokes, and nothing more.
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Kyle T
Premium Member
Registered: 11th Sep 04
Location: Selby, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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I love that, probably laughing arses off at Jade Goody/Racist jokes, and then getting in a huff when someone jokes about something that in some way relates to them
I bet you never break the speed limit too 
Lotus Elise 111R
Impreza WRX STi
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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Not really Kyle, it's worng, Would you make a joke about someone in your family, who had cancer? i know i wouldn't! sorry to be a kill joy.
[Edited on 19-02-2009 by 5dr corsa-3dr_polo]
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myke
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 01
Location: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire
User status: Offline
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I had a good racist one but Willay says no
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by DannyB
What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
Deep Throat.
 that is just wrong.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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To maximise her income Jade Goody is launching a spring collection of bags.
These new 'Goody bags' come in a variety of sizes from colostomy to body.
They are finally releasing Peter Sutcliffe from Broadmoor.
So look out girls there are two thing's that will rip your face off here in Yorkshire.
Him and my fence.
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Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
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my nan JUST died of cancer and i dont find the jade jokes offencive, my auntie has a baby and i love her to bits and would kill anyone who hurt her but i dont find the baby jokes offencive, they are jokes, if you dont like the GTF!!
Whats pink and orange and turns blue?
baby with popped armbands
Whats funnier than a baby drowning?
baby drowning in a clown suit.
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John
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by 5dr corsa-3dr_polo
Not really Kyle, it's worng, Would you make a joke about someone in your family, who had cancer? i know i wouldn't! sorry to be a kill joy.
If you might be offended by whatever type of joke, don't come into a thread titled 'Sick Joke Thread'
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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14 year old Kirsty McRae cooked herself half to death in an unmanned tanning salon ignoring a vast array of warning signs.
Yet she claims that she has no respossibility because she is a "teenager"
I'm not sure if that's the best or worst excuse I've ever heard. Surely even if she ignored the signs, the painful burning sensation should have given her a clue that she should have stopped.
A trucker drives his fully loaded lorry to the top of a steep hill and starts down the other side when he notices a man and a woman making love in the center of the road. He blows his horn several times, but they don't budge. He slams on his brakes and stops just inches from them.
Getting out of the cab, the furious trucker walks to the couple in the road, and yells, "What the hell's the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the horn? You could've been killed!"
The man on the highway looks up and says, "Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes."
Meanwhile, the salon onwer has agreed to play the sunbed sceen from Final Destination 3 continuously to warn other teenagers of the inherant dangers that a sunbed can pose to an idiot.
[Edited on 19-02-2009 by Bonney66]
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Reecemac
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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How do you fit a baby in a jar?
Blender, How do you get it out again?
Dorito's
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Luke
Member
Registered: 9th Dec 05
Location: Oxford Drives:Corsa B C20LET
User status: Offline
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Whats 12 inches long, blue & makes a women moan?
Cot death.
My mate told me that joke years ago.
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Ellis
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 07
Location: Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by 5dr corsa-3dr_polo
WANKERS.
To you too mate!
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Mike
Organiser: North West and North Wales
Premium Member
Registered: 20th May 06
Location: nr. Skipton, North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by 5dr corsa-3dr_polo
Not really Kyle, it's worng, Would you make a joke about someone in your family, who had cancer? i know i wouldn't! sorry to be a kill joy.
[Edited on 19-02-2009 by 5dr corsa-3dr_polo]
This one makes me laugh. No you're right, I wouldn't make a joke about someone in my family having cancer but Jade Goody, the intollerable idiot that got famous due to living in a televised house for a while, showing off her extreme stupidity and what a waste of space she is to this world and then made a good living off the back of it (that's the way most people saw her) I'm not too fussed about making yet more jokes about her.
It just shows how 2 faced the majority of society is when not that long ago, most people in the country will have called her thick, racist, a waste of air etc. but now she's ill, aww and everyone's feeling sorry for her and wanting to help her, aww poor Jade. 
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