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Author Morning
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Fail.
andy1868
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Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
whats the fail for?

yes neo, ghost hunting
LukeS
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Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
the orgasm
andy1868
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Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
_Allan_
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Registered: 24th Mar 04
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25th Jun 09 at 15:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Cool, what bike does he have Andy?

LukeS
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Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Are you getting these from the internet?
JonnyJ
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Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by andy1868
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML


11 more years andy, 11 more years...
Neo
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Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LukeS
Are you getting these from the internet?


I fucking hope so

[Edited on 25-06-2009 by Neo]
_Allan_
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Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LukeS
Are you getting these from the internet?


The clue is at the end 'fml'

http://www.fmylife.com/


[Edited on 25-06-2009 by _Allan_]
JonnyJ
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Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:11   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
This is killing my boredom

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/best-nights/
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:11   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
i thought he meant "for my loss"
JonnyJ
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Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:14   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
that sites funny

[Edited on 25-06-2009 by LukeS]
LukeS
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Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:15   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. ... Lol
_Allan_
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Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:15   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Some more funny ones on here. Most are prolly trolls though.

http://mydrunktexts.com/
Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:26   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
omfg

Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

I must try that one day hahaha
LukeS
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Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Last night, I was extremely intoxicated and a little horny. I went into my contacts, found "Perry's cell" and texted him all the dirty things I wanted to do to him. I woke up the next morning and looked in my sent box to see that I sent it to "Papa's cell." I drunk sexted my father. MDT
LukeS
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Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:30   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Last night, "i just smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears" MDT
Neo
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Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
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25th Jun 09 at 15:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
didnt realise British airways were getting into trouble
LukeS
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Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Matt L
didnt realise British airways were getting into trouble


Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
just heard on the radio they are asking staff to take a pay cut
JonnyJ
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Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
(303): There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

(714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
"so we just fucked 4 times in a row, best sex in the world fuckin made me cum more than once and now he's cuddeling wanting to sleep and i'm not done fuckk." (receive): "darling, I think you sent this text to the wrong person but if he falls asleep the best way to wake up my son is by tickling him"... i sent the txt to his mother
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
25th Jun 09 at 15:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Permanent Tuxedo

[Edited on 25-06-2009 by LukeS]

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