drax
Member
Registered: 5th Feb 05
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
User status: Offline
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Girl I work with today said...
We've got one of those ambidextrous dogs, It can only turn to the left for some reason..
Our entire table burst into laughter
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DC90
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 07
Location: Bedfordshire
User status: Offline
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"Do boxers watch TV aswell..?"
GF asked me that a couple of hours ago..
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charlessurr
Member
Registered: 15th May 05
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
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My girlfriend couldnt point out USA on a world map!
SHe also thought that which ever way you were facing was north!
Her friend told her she wanted to see the northern lights, she replied, oh yeah, i love blackpool.............
WHen talking about May bank holiday, 'Is that in May?' Oh dear.
She thought Lance armstrong was the first man on the moon..........
WAIT, IT GETS BETTER!
Looking on a map for her new student accomodation, oooo look, im next to a river..........no thats the motorway
She was convinced mermaids made pearls
She also though unicorns and dragons were real.
WHen looking at a menu, 'Oh my god they serve whale', Me 'no they dont, it would be too big (as in haha)', her 'dont be silly, i didnt mean a full one, just a leg' OH LORD
Thought our plane to Lanzarote flew at 100 feet and 60 MPH
Who would want to live in Stockholm with all those Germans...........
She asked me what was wrong with Stephen Hawking, i explained he had moto-neuron diesease (spelling), she said oh i thought he was just lazy........
I can honestly say i didnt make any of these up! Beggers belief!
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Steve X16XE
Member
Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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This lass at my mates work is so gulabul (sp) that he told her that if you strike 2 ice cubes together you can get sparks. I told him to back things up by saying that it only works with dry ice. Yep she fell for it.
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Graham88
Member
Registered: 16th Apr 07
Location: South East Kent Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
another good 1. was driving up my street in my car with just me and the ex. when the driveway came into view she turned and looked at me and said "oh my god! wheres your car gone?"
Although I did that with my phone, I'm on the phone to my mate and start telling him I can't find my phone 
[Edited on 11-12-2007 by Graham88]
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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Charles... just 
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TheCam
Member
Registered: 16th Mar 07
Location: Kirkcaldy
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
another good 1. was driving up my street in my car with just me and the ex. when the driveway came into view she turned and looked at me and said "oh my god! wheres your car gone?"
I actually done something very similar last night, was sitting in my car with 4 mates at the bottom of the street when my neighbour goes tearing up my street in his Saxo, I said "he better no fuckin hit my car!" all my mates were like, "Campbell, were sittin in your car" I felt like a fud lol
a few months back the council had a hovercraft trial across the forth to edinburgh to see if it would be a success.
I told her about it and she just looked at me in disbelief and I couldnt work out why. she asked me how much people it could carry and i said i think its about 100 and she said so its goni fly??
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dannymccann
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 06
Location: Doddington, Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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my GF once said (after I bought a new headunit for the car) - "I'll put the steering lock on so the stereo doesnt get nicked". She will never live that one down, especially considering its a lock that fixes to the handbrake and gear lever 
I must admit I have 'lost my phone' while holding it in my hand lol
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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My mother got a letter addressed to the previous owner of our house.
Without realising, she opened the letter and read it. It was a letter from the hospital reminding the previous owner that her glass eye was due for cleaning.
Anyway........she was meeting her sister to go shopping so my mother told her about this letter and that is was a reminder for the previous owner to have her glass eye cleaned.
Her sister replied "eee it's a wonder she could see out of it" then she realised what she said
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saxoboy2008
Member
Registered: 30th Nov 07
User status: Offline
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We tend to send the retarded girls up to the stock room to look for a long weight, or powdered water. Makes us giggle everytime
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TheCam
Member
Registered: 16th Mar 07
Location: Kirkcaldy
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by saxoboy2008
We tend to send the retarded girls up to the stock room to look for a long weight, or powdered water. Makes us giggle everytime
one of the apprentice mechanics got sent to me and asked me for a box of sparks for the grinder lol a was pissin myself
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RyanSxi
Member
Registered: 26th Jul 06
User status: Offline
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Missus isn't usually daft but she came out with this last night:
Me: Yeh a lass at work got a wii from argos today
Her: Oh right, did she order it while they were in stock then?
oh dear
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micra_pete
Premium Member
Registered: 23rd Apr 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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whilst watching motorhead on the tele, I was told by the missus - "look its lenny"
also whilst watching boomtown rats was told "that looks just like bob geldof"
seriously
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Daimo B
Member
Registered: 20th Mar 00
User status: Offline
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I am very very scared by some of your GF's intelligence levels.
GCSE grades go up. Commen sense goes down....
That one, charles, jesus, get shot, shes clearly a no-brainer at all
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charlessurr
Member
Registered: 15th May 05
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
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The best thing is, shes still maintains that shes clever....... I must be missing something.
We played a drinking game a while back, when asked (serious question) name something bigger than a human.......almost infinate possibilities, she said King Kong lol
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Daimo B
Member
Registered: 20th Mar 00
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by charlessurr
The best thing is, shes still maintains that shes clever....... I must be missing something.
We played a drinking game a while back, when asked (serious question) name something bigger than a human.......almost infinate possibilities, she said King Kong lol
I work with some very very clever people.
F-all commen sense though. YEs tehy can read well, they can do complicated maths..... Great for jobs, bad for life. 95% of people at this place couldn't work their way out of a paper bag and simply don't have a clue.
Rather going A to B, they will go A, Z, K, W, M, F, B.
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Toby
Premium Member
Registered: 29th Nov 05
User status: Offline
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i was watching the footie scores on tele at my mates house and man united had a 5:15 kick off, as they were going through the scores my mates sister turns round and says west ham did well agaisnt man u didnt they
edit: ie chelsea 0 2 west brom
man u 5: 15 west ham
[Edited on 11-12-2007 by CorsaB4ever]
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by CorsaB4ever
i was watching the footie scores on tele at my mates house and man united had a 5:15 kick off, as they were going through the scores my mates sister turns round and says west ham did well agaisnt man u didnt they
edit: ie chelsea 0 2 west brom
man u 5: 15 west ham
[Edited on 11-12-2007 by CorsaB4ever]
FAIL
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JadeM
Premium Member
Registered: 9th Feb 06
User status: Offline
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I'm not going to enter into this discussion.................................
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Daimo B
Member
Registered: 20th Mar 00
User status: Offline
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Why the reply then?
Fail.........
This is my kind of point.... I don't want to get into the discussion, but i'll reply to everyone, in the discussion, letting them know this????
WTF??
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JadeM
Premium Member
Registered: 9th Feb 06
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by VXR
Why the reply then?
Fail.........
This is my kind of point.... I don't want to get into the discussion, but i'll reply to everyone, in the discussion, letting them know this????
WTF??
Sorry
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Daimo B
Member
Registered: 20th Mar 00
User status: Offline
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I aint being mean, but you've just totally prooved the point of this post....
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JadeM
Premium Member
Registered: 9th Feb 06
User status: Offline
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I know, I realise that now.........................and I've just totally depressed myself by realise just how thick I am
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jacko198
Member
Registered: 1st Mar 07
Location: Buckinghamshire
User status: Offline
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Me and the girl were talking about james brown randomly one day,
And i said, "its a shame hes dead isnt it"
So she says "Yeh but he's only abit dead isnt he"
I think she meant hes only just died, but didnt say that!
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charlessurr
Member
Registered: 15th May 05
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
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Ive jsut remembered the most embarrasing one...................We were watching an england match, cant remember atm, England scored and the pub went wild, beer everywhere etc etc.............they play the replay about 2mins later and she sees the goal, she stands up, her drink everywhere and shouts wahooooooooo!!!!!!!! hahaha
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