Kevxx
Member
Registered: 14th May 08
Location: Forfar, Angus
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by sib
Apparently, in the states a chimpanzee has brutally attacked a woman, nearly killing her while mauling her face...
...But enough about Chris Brown.
 more more!!
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sib
Member
Registered: 6th Jun 08
Location: abingdon
User status: Offline
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I wrote to my local council complaining that cars were driving too fast past my house.
They told me someone needs to be killed before they can do anything about it!
So I shot a passing motorist.
Now the fuckers drive by twice as fast!
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for christmas, he said it was the most violent book he's ever read.
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew?
Pizzas dont scream in the oven.
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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What's the difference between football and madeline mccann?
football's coming home.
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Behr
Member
Registered: 5th Feb 07
Location: Hemel Hempstead
User status: Offline
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Whats more Fun than Nailing a baby to the wall,
Ripping it back off again
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sib
Member
Registered: 6th Jun 08
Location: abingdon
User status: Offline
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I'm considering a lawsuit against the makers of Johnson & Johnson's 'No more tears' baby oil.
I used it to lube up my daughter and she still screamed like fuck.
Only kidding. I don't use lube.
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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dizzy rebel pwned this thread
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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There's nothing wrong with Jade Goody; I was watching her in Afghanistan last night. She seemed fine.
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J da Silva
Member
Registered: 10th Apr 03
Location: The FACTory
User status: Offline
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Now that Jade Goody has written out her will, is there any chance she could leave her cancer to Amy Winehouse?
I wonder how many people will try not to laugh when Tweed says, " 'til death do us part"...
That Jade Goody will do anything to get back on the cover of Heat Magazine.
However, I'm waiting for the issue "How I beat Jade Goody" by Cervical Cancer.
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MoesTavern
Member
Registered: 19th Jul 07
User status: Offline
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What do you call a paki that washes every day?
asif.
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DizzyRebel
Member
Registered: 2nd Jan 09
Location: Lincoln
User status: Offline
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Fater and daughter are playing together in the garden when the little girl spots 2 insects on the floor. "Is that a mummy long-legs underneath that daddy long legs?" Father replies "no sweetie, there are no mummy long-legs, only daddy long-legs." The father felt very proud of her inquisitive mind untill she stamps on them both saying "we'll have none of that gay shit in our fuckin garden"
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DizzyRebel
Member
Registered: 2nd Jan 09
Location: Lincoln
User status: Offline
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TODAYS RACIST JOKES ARE:
What do you call 1000 niggers in a fast flowing river? Blackcurrent.
Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.
Why are asprins white? Because they work.
How does every racist joke start? With a look over your shoulder.
What has 8 legs and a black C.unt? The A-team.
whats the mating call of a blackbird? "Stick it in me Leroy"
What do you call a nigger with a stutter? Cocoon
A Black man was looking up his family tree, then a monkey shat on his head.
ill get my coat lol.
[Edited on 20-02-2009 by DizzyRebel]
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DizzyRebel
Member
Registered: 2nd Jan 09
Location: Lincoln
User status: Offline
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Some girls beg and some girls borrow,
some girls lead and some girls follow,
some bring joy and some bring sorrow...
But all the best girls suck then swallow!
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by sib
I'm considering a lawsuit against the makers of Johnson & Johnson's 'No more tears' baby oil.
I used it to lube up my daughter and she still screamed like fuck.
Only kidding. I don't use lube.
Brilliant if not very sick. Reminds me of the Jason Rouse joke and 'papa cock'.
[Edited on 20-02-2009 by deano87]
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mattk
Member
Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
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DizzyRebel
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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What should you do if you're walking in the snow and come across an unconscious, naked girl who looks like she's been raped?
Check your bearings; you're going in circles.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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It looks like karma exists; Jade Goody got cancer for making racist comments on TV.
It makes you wonder what's going to happen to us sick bastards?
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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What's the difference between period blood and sand?
You can't gargle sand.
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DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Whats worse than Michael Jackson babysitting your kids?
Ian Huntley bathing them.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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I see a lot of women are using this site...
The dinner won't cook itself you know.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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One of the big differences between American English and British English is that Americans tend to drop the letter "U" from certain words, like colour and honour.
What a bnch of stpid fcking cnts.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Police are investigating the bigger picture of Mark Speight's death.
It was sent in by 11 year old Susie from Reading.
Spiderman: Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.
[Edited on 20-02-2009 by Bonney66]
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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FACE. Has their face fallen on one side?
ARMS. Can they raise both arms and keep them there?
SPEECH. Is their speech slurred?
TIME. To rape them. The Rohypnol has taken effect.
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JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
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FLOL @ Pretty much all of these
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