Mad Moe
Member
Registered: 14th Jun 01
Location: Northumberland
User status: Offline
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Apologise if there are any Essex girls on this site but I found these very amusing
An Essex girl goes to the local authority to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the council worker.
"8!" replies the Essex girl
"8??" asks the incredulous council worker. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah, mate!" says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout
WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed worker.
"Hah! That's easy," says the girl. "I just use their surnames"
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment
on the counter.
"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
An Essex girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's the fire extinguisher."
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and
bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some
questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Hackney, mate."
An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was
her boyfriend, urgently warning her,
"Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"
Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car
till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my God! I'm paralysed from the waist down?"
[Edited on 29-03-2004 by Mad Moe]
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Ally
Member
Registered: 2nd Jul 03
Location: Pontypool Drives: a Skoda
User status: Offline
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mjw_2k2
Member
Registered: 18th Sep 03
Location: Anglesey, North Wales
User status: Offline
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Noonster
Member
Registered: 20th Jul 03
Location: East Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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- loving these, sent them around work..... even sent it too the essex girl (waiting for a slap now  )
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Mark Petty
Member
Registered: 26th Jul 01
Location: Bournemouth Drives: Suzuki gsf600
User status: Offline
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I have another:
Whats the difference between an essex girl on holiday and a essex boy?
The essex girl has a higher sperm count
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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PMSL
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Noonster
Member
Registered: 20th Jul 03
Location: East Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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thats a good one mark
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