jaffa
Member
Registered: 27th Mar 00
Location: Stoke-on-Trent
User status: Offline
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Quotes of the week
And then I'll grab you by the neck and show you the door
Don't forget to send in the quotes we've missed using the postform.
"I will never shut the door on David Beckham's international career. It will never be open.... er, closed."
New England manager Steve McClaren believes David Beckham's England future is an open and shut case.
"You only have to fart in the box to concede a penalty these days."
Leeds manager Kevin Blackwell bemoans a penalty decision given to QPR in the Championship clash at Loftus Road.
"The gaffer wanted me to kiss him but if my missus had seen me kissing him I would have been in trouble!"
Crystal Palace striker Clinton Morrison declines to plant a smacker on boss Peter Taylor after scoring a late winner against Leeds.
"I wanted him to kiss me but he bottled it. I don't ask all my players to kiss me - just Clinton because I fancy him."
Taylor can't hide his disappointment.
"Don't mention the World Cup!"
Barnsley boss Andy Ritchie reveals what Graham 'three cards' Poll said to his players before the game at Colchester.
"My dad and my brother were here. Dad admitted he had split loyalties but I told him he had to support England in this series. He probably instigated a lot of the abuse!"
England bowler Sajid Mahmood, who helped England beat Pakistan by taking 4-22 in the third Test at Headingley. Dad Shahid was born in Pakistan and Sajid was taunted by some Pakistan fans for being a "traitor".
"I started right after the competition by going to a pub and taking two shots of vodka. After that, I don't know if what has been said is true or not."
Swedish shot putter Jimmy Nordin, who was kicked off his country's European Championship team for being drunk. Nordin apparently went on a binge after finishing in 27th place.
Fancy a long holiday in the reserves?
"As you know Gallas had an unbelievable holiday. I hope he enjoyed it very much in Guadeloupe, which I think is a fantastic place be to on holiday, so he wanted to stay there for a long time."
Jose Mourinho on Chelsea's want-away defender William Gallas, who missed the first team's trip to the United States because he was on holiday.
"I think it would be a little bit of a travesty, certainly on the back of what I did last year, if some sort of Hollywood-type showbiz keeper with a massive ego came in and played just because he's a big name."
Portsmouth keeper Dean Kiely takes the news of David James' arrival well.
"It could be an important shirt to have in the future, that. It'll be like Hitler's helmet."
Oxford manager Jim Smith after his players were fighting for Cristiano Ronaldo's shirt following the friendly with Manchester United. Ronaldo was booed throughout for his World Cup antics.
"I have no regrets, but it is a big surprise to me because he cancelled his contract to go abroad. Have you sold Portsmouth to a foreign country? No."
Arsene Wenger expresses his surprise upon hearing that Sol Campbell is poised to join Portsmouth.
"Mum knows more about F1 than I do - she is addicted to it!"
Jenson Button on his car-mad mum.
CHANT OF THE WEEK
"Two more - he only needs two more!"
Colchester fans to referee Graham Poll after he showed a yellow card to U's midfielder Kem Izett.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/funny_old_game/4784141.stm
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