JayC
Member
Registered: 17th Jan 03
Location: Whitefield, Greater Manchester
User status: Offline
|
>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
>Take off clothing and place in laundry. alk to bathroom wearing a long
>dressing gown.If husband is seen along the way,cover up any exposed flesh
>and rush to bathroom. look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out
>belly. Complain about getting fat. Get into shower look for facecloth,arm
>cloth,loincloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.Wash hair once with
>cucumber and lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.Wash hair again with
>cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. leave on
>hair for 15 minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten
>minutes until red raw.Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
>cake body wash.Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make
>sure that its all come off. Shave armpits and legs.Consider shaving bikini
>area or decide to get it waxed. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet
>and water loses pressure and turns red hot. turn off shower Squeegee all wet
>surfaces in shower. spray mould spots with Tilex get out of shower Dry with
>towel the size of a small african country. Wrap hair in super absorbent
>second towel. Check entie body for remotest sign of spots.Attack with
>nail/tweezers (if you can find any) return to bedroom weaing long dressing
>gown and towel on head. If husband seen,cover up any exposed areas and then
>rush to bathroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
>Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile. Walk bollock
>naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her while shouting Wahey!!
>look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique.Admire size of
>knob in mirror, scratch bollocks and smell fingers for one last whiff. get
>in shower don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't need one. Wash
>bollocks and the surounding area, leaving hair on the soap.Wash armpits.
>wash face.Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.Shampoo hair but do
>not use conditioner.Make mohican hairstyle with shampoo.Pull back curtain to
>see self in mirror.Piss in shower. Rinse off. get out of shower fail to
>notice water on floor caused by shower curtain being outside bath for whole
>of showering time.Partially dry off.Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and
>admire size of knob again.Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on
>floor.Leave bathroom light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around
>waist,leaving wet footprints on carpets If you pass wife, pull off
>towel,grab knob, go "yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her. put on yesterdays
>clothes
|
