Romford Astra
Member
Registered: 13th Aug 01
Location: Romford, Essex Drives:Honda S2000
User status: Offline
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"I was cleaning out the attic the other day with the wife. Filthy, dirty and
covered with cobwebs.... but she's good with the kids..."
So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said I want to buy an ice-cream' He
said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said
'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these
trousers, yes.'
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home." "That sounds like Tom
Jones syndrome. " "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round." The Other one says
"so are you, you fat b*stard"
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll
give you some cream to put on it."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything
you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he
picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says
"I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No,
because he's really heavy"
Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. One says to the other, "Have you
ever been picked up by the fuzz?" The other replies, "No, but I've been swung
around by the tits!"
A man gets on a train and sits next to a young woman reading a book called 'Sex
Statistics'. "Any good?", he asks. "Fascinating - American Indians have the
widest pricks, and Polishmen the longest. By the way, I'm Jane." "Hi," he says.
"I'm Tonto Palawlaski."
A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long
time." The man replied "I know, I've been ill"
I was driving down the motorway with my bird the other day when we both got a
bit frisky and decided to do something about it. So we decided we'd take the
next exit, but it was a turn-off.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2
years.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
A man walked into the doctor's, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places."
The doctor said "Well don't go there any more."
[Edited on 01-03-2003 by Romford Astra]
[Edited on 01-03-2003 by Romford Astra]
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Trotty
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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I don't get the last one...   
Ian 
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Kayleigh
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Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: England
User status: Offline
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Andy Stocker
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 00
Location: Herts Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
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I'm going to Luton, i'd better not tell poor jokes like that for fear of being killed
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Trotty
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SexySxi
Aww, I donno, the first and third ones were worth a chuckle?
Ian
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Trotty
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Romford Astra
Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. One says to the other, "Have you
ever been picked up by the fuzz?" The other replies, "No, but I've been swung
around by the tits!"
I like's that one
Ian
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Romford Astra
Member
Registered: 13th Aug 01
Location: Romford, Essex Drives:Honda S2000
User status: Offline
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Andy Stocker
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 00
Location: Herts Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
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Very lame
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SueTelf
Member
Registered: 30th Dec 02
Location: Doncaster
User status: Offline
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@ u, thers sum funny ones there.
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Andy Stocker
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 00
Location: Herts Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SueTelf
@ u, thers sum funny ones there.
Where
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SueTelf
Member
Registered: 30th Dec 02
Location: Doncaster
User status: Offline
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Andy jst cos u dont find them amusing.
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anz
Member
Registered: 25th Dec 02
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
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lol im impressed
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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me neither,
Come on Pete you are capable of much better
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the jug
Member
Registered: 2nd Oct 02
User status: Offline
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IDIOT!!!!
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