dan_c4rsa
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Registered: 12th Dec 06
Location: North Yorks Drives: MK3 Seat Cupra
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is the time ive spent today washing the car.
But thats because i had to spend half an hour using tar spot remover.
Then spent hour and a half/2 hours bloody waxing it.
I cant see how people can spend a whole day doing it - its just silly.
Im knackered but now my car is smooth as hell to the touch. I might give it a rinse after work tomorrow then polish it to finish it off
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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Did you use deionised, debubbled, demineralised, dehydrogenised, demolecularised water with essence of baby lamb nipples and a freshly killed weasel to wash it over first?
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dan_c4rsa
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Registered: 12th Dec 06
Location: North Yorks Drives: MK3 Seat Cupra
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mmm indeed i did.
i also used norwegian dwarf extract taken from their foreskins to ensure the moisture and essential oils are retained within the paintwork formulating into a truly wonderful dosplay of perfection.
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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Do you not find its hard to buff off the dried dwarf smegma, despite the stunning results it gives in the end?
I prefer to use freshly sqeezed aqueous humour from the eyes of infant crocodiles, it gives a more lasting lustre.
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Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
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FPMSL @ dwarf extract
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dan_c4rsa
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Registered: 12th Dec 06
Location: North Yorks Drives: MK3 Seat Cupra
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Well thats my trick, if you apply a small amount of heat to the smegmerised mixture, it loosens up making the whole process much easier to manipulate into your work.
mmm true. Yet if you dig deeper, the infant crocodiles anal cavity provides a thicker substance of what i like to call - dripback. When applied during a hot day, this liquid helps the waxing process by filling smaller scratches.
Freshly crushed american grizzly testicles are also a great biological, non chemical formula for bumpers, as opposed to that AWFUL back to black tut tut.
What are your opinions on glass protectors such as nympho tears or polar bear urine?
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Whittie
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Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
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I just use autoglym super resin
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Bonney
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Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Whittie
I just use autoglym super resin
same, easily avalable
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dan_c4rsa
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Registered: 12th Dec 06
Location: North Yorks Drives: MK3 Seat Cupra
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dwarf extract forever - you amatuers
edit - make that NORWEIGIAN dwarf extract!
[Edited on 10-09-2007 by dan_c4rsa]
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Bonney
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Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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dont use them daft microfibre cloths, using the back of a weasel works even better
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dan_c4rsa
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Registered: 12th Dec 06
Location: North Yorks Drives: MK3 Seat Cupra
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now your learning.
Otters tail works well for natural shammy leather.
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Bonney
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Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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