Jason Iles
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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> > A blonde bird pushes her car into a gas station. She tells the
> > mechanic, "It died."
> > After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.
> > She says, "What's the story?"
> > He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
> > She says, "How often do I have to do that?"
> >
> > ***********************************************************
> >
> > A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
> > "You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we
> started
> > swearing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
> > "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you swear
> > after me, ok?"
> > The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the
> > kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
> > "Oh, sh*t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops".
> > WHACK!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor,
> > gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out.
> >
> > She looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice,
> > "And what do you want for breakfast, young man?!"
> > "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your f***ing ass it
> > won't be Coco Pops"
> >
> > ***********************************************************
> >
> > And finally...
> > You gotta love a good beer slogan...
> >
> > The latest Becks Beer advert in Scotland (displayed in pubs etc) is as
> > follows:
> >
> > 'YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE POSH TO SWALLOW BECKS'
[Edited on 07-05-2003 by J 11ESY]
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NovaGTE
Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
User status: Offline
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Brett
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
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feelin good when i should be ashamed
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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charcoalgrill
Member
Registered: 23rd Oct 02
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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lmao of the becks 1
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Icy
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
User status: Offline
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big eck
Member
Registered: 20th Apr 03
Location: Tullibody. Drives - Audi B8 S4 & Fiesta Zetec-S
User status: Offline
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Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed,
the mechanic knowing she isn't the brightest of the spice girls decides to play a joke on her
" You dont need me to take out those dents" he says
" just blow up the exhaust and the dents will pop out"
So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house and shouts
" You silly cow, you have to wind the windows up first".
Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran infront of the car.
The driver tried to avoid it but could'nt-- the cow was killed.
Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain what happened.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes hanging off him, he was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and had a big smile on his face.
" What happened?" asked posh
"Well" the driver replied "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his sexy daughter made mad passionate love to me"
"My god, what did you tell them?" asked posh
The driver replied "I'm Victoria Beckhams driver and I just killed the cow.
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