monty46
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Registered: 27th Jan 08
Location: Northern Ireland
User status: Offline
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mate handed in A-level coursework with a screen shot of me giving two fingers on webcam.
Pushing people down banks and snow days were brilliant
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jungle
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Registered: 22nd Nov 07
Location: methilhill,fife
User status: Offline
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me: can i go to the toilet?
supply teacher: NO sit down!
me: am bursting!
supply teacher: sit down
me: fuck this am go pish on your floor!
**supply teacher then locks class door**
me: fuck you then yakunt!!!
**opens window climbs out**
**pishes on roof**
**climbs off roof and goes home**
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jungle
Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 07
Location: methilhill,fife
User status: Offline
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and seriously true story!
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kav
Member
Registered: 5th Jul 09
Location: Trawden, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by jungle
me: can i go to the toilet?
supply teacher: NO sit down!
me: am bursting!
supply teacher: sit down
me: fuck this am go pish on your floor!
**supply teacher then locks class door**
me: fuck you then yakunt!!!
**opens window climbs out**
**pishes on roof**
**climbs off roof and goes home**
fucking lol something similar happened at my school but the guy fell off the roof when trying to get down
[Edited on 28-01-2010 by kav]
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Ollie_B
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Registered: 1st Jun 08
Location: North Wales/Wirral
User status: Offline
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I remember in art, putting a fountain pen cartridge under my stool leg and jumping on it, this resulted in it exploding all over the teacher , Also in music me and a mate turned all the key boards on to automatic, so they where blasting out songs  , we also said the teacher was always wearing a bra, so he made us copy down about 7 different mozart symphonies or something  , ahh loads more, school was ace!
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Carl
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Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
User status: Offline
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I spent most of the german classes saying "nutzlicker" and Kuntzliererin, ones german for useful and the other was art teacher. Entertained me. I also sat just behind the fitest girl in the year who I really got on with and tried to entertain. All the lads were jelous so were always taunting me to try and embarase me all the time. She's put a bit of timber on now but i'd still do her for old times sake.
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jungle
Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 07
Location: methilhill,fife
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by kav
quote:
Originally posted by jungle
me: can i go to the toilet?
supply teacher: NO sit down!
me: am bursting!
supply teacher: sit down
me: fuck this am go pish on your floor!
**supply teacher then locks class door**
me: fuck you then yakunt!!!
**opens window climbs out**
**pishes on roof**
**climbs off roof and goes home**
fucking lol something similar happened at my school but the guy fell off the roof when trying to get down
[Edited on 28-01-2010 by kav]
needless to say i never got back to school for the rest of third year
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Skylined
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
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Best one was from our games teacher
"Fiddle with the windows and I'll fiddle with you!"
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Fonz
Premium Member
Registered: 12th May 06
Location: Newbury, Berks
User status: Offline
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not my class but a pupil was well known for playing the racist card.
where i live is predominantly white and he was one of the few (less than a half adozen in a school of 1000 pupils) blacks in the school - everytime he was told off, asked to be quiet etc he played the racist card!
our school had its maths department in those temporary classrooms and the way they were set out prompted alot of bundles. our whole year was timetabled for maths after a break/lunch and we'd all get there early just to bundle! so many lads got trampled on and squashed!!
we had a French student teacher, not surprisingly to teach French and we were told to get to know her as a class, so we asked name, where she lived, brothers sisters, all the regular stuff, she asked us questions back etc etc
some lads gave a particularly "special" lad a question to ask which was asking for her number, he didnt realize what he was asking at all....the student teacher blushed and didnt know what to say, quickly our teacher jumped to rescue the situation in but we wound him up about it for the rest of the year that he had a crush on her even the teacher joined in!
In science we kept playing Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody as the teacher was Miss Miller
In RE we were being less than quiet and not getting on with our work as you might expect, our teacher shouted out DON'T SPEAK to which we then sang back at her No Doubt's Dont Speak
one Geography teacher enjoyed the sound of his voice so we set him off on tangents which would take up the whole lesson resulting in no work done!
a tech teacher lopped off the end of his little finger on the band saw....he was then known as "Dr Evil" for ever and we all did the finger to the mouth with our finers bent to hide the tips!
[Edited on 29-01-2010 by Fonz]
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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Loads of memories. Main one playing "wall-ey" in the playground with the football. I smashed the ball and hoofed it, absolutely nailing one of 3 satelite dishes, causing all 3 to fall off. 
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DaveyLC
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Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline
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We had an ex-military guy who was the deputy head and sometimes did Rugby lessons.. I'll never forget the way he could shout "You boy" and everyone within about a 100 meter radius would stop dead in their tracks and turn around to see if it is them being summond for an arse whooping.
I also remember me and my mate giving our German teacher a peanut (pulling his tie) so tightly that he had to run out and get a pair of siscors to cut it off.. We nearly got kicked out for that
Acid fights in chemistry..
Burning grudons..
Someone getting stabbed in biology with a scalpul..
Setting fire to gas taps in science..
So many memories lol!
[Edited on 29-01-2010 by DaveyLC]
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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Remember in Year 11, my mate bragging to us that he's banging the French teacher, who was stunning. We thought it was all a load of bollocks, so he told us to meet him in a cloackroom at a certain time, we went and he was smashing the shit out of her. She quit a day later.
Locking an English teacher in a walk in cupboard, she had a mental break down and also quit.
There was an assembley where video's were going to be showed of STI's etc. The slide show was modifed by myself and a mate of the said french teacher performing sexual acts on others. Never got caught for that
English class, white board behind the teachers head, i was working on that computer and all the info was showing up on it, ended up on porn.
Set a fire extinguisher off, causing a leak in the floor in Science.
Booted a football against a gutter, smashed it to pieces, really got bollocked for that.
I always refused to go for a shit in school, so always went home for one, then came back an hour later.
Fingering some bird in class, without anybody else noticing.
Linking a playstation up to a TV in tech when we had a supply teacher for a week. Metal Gear Solid ftw.
Phoning the school, pretending to be somebodys parent and saying they needed to urgently go home as something terrible has happened.
Calling each and every teacher by their first name.
Buying and selling shit through the school years.
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DaveyLC
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Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline
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A lot of that does sound like BS.
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Rich H
Member
Registered: 26th Oct 05
Location: West Sussex Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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Just a couple more I remembered:
Potassium (iirc) fed to the goldfish in their tank in the science dept.
Chewing gum, rubbers, tippex etc also fed to new batch of goldfish in new tank a few weeks later.
A right geeky kid had a rucksack with extendable handle out the top (it was a suitcase / rucksack thing) so we extended the handle and hung him from coat pegs in the changing rooms with the bag still on his back, then removed the bench from underneath him so he was still hanging there.
Polystyrene tiles in the roof - 1 was missing for over about a week in the maths dept - cue hiding a guys entire bag contents in it (books, lunch etc) tile was replaced, so following week we told him where it all was - he went mental and smashed the tile back down and got an absolute bollocking for that
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by DaveyLC
A lot of that does sound like BS.
Like what? None of it is.
French teacher? We all thought that was BS, untill we saw it. Locking teacher in the cupboard? She wasn't in there long before somebody let her out and was already stressed tf. Playstation? Teacher didn't give a shit and it was from the 6th form room. STI assembley? Wasn't BS, we were kept behind for hours untill somebody admitted. Nobody did. Fingering the bird? Quite a common thing in my school
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DaveyLC
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Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline
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Like your mate fucking the teacher... I just couldnt see that not ending up in the national press.
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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Saw it with my own eyes tbf, why would it of been national press? Not as if we were all going to tell everybody tbf.
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DaveyLC
Member
Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by jungle
me: can i go to the toilet?
supply teacher: NO sit down!
me: am bursting!
supply teacher: sit down
me: fuck this am go pish on your floor!
**supply teacher then locks class door**
me: fuck you then yakunt!!!
**opens window climbs out**
**pishes on roof**
**climbs off roof and goes home**
Lol! my mate had an argument with a german teacher he said hes going so she locked the door, he also fucked off out of the window, the rest of us went wild
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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I know full well my Business Studies teacher wanted to fuck my brains out by the amount of after school detentions she gave me 
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jr
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Registered: 20th May 02
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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[Fonz]In science we kept playing Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody as the teacher was Miss Miller[/Fonz]
Just me that found that brilliant
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Blakey's dad was not amused by the memo I left for him in his homework diary, in thick permanent marker.
"Memo:" it read, "Bum Dad."
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Budgie
Member
Registered: 2nd Dec 09
Location: Basingstoke
User status: Offline
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my school years were pretty tedious tbh.
the only fun points were:
Throwing coins into the ceiling tiles in re (was really high roof btw)
Taking down roof tiles in tutorial (last year of school)
and one time when it was pissing down with rain we just fucked about in the changing rooms wasting time, pe teacher then locked us in for some reason so my mate smashed a window  i think he wanted to escape
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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School days are the best days of your life.
In R.E, we used to put pins on teh chairs facing up just before they sat down, and they'd jump up with a yelp and get bollocked.
Ink fights at break times.
Always left my bag in a random place, so i could skip half the lesson to go look for it.
English teacher was a right fitty in Year9, always wore a skirt and sat on her desk with her legs crossed, me and 3 mates were all sat at the front
In ITC, one of the computers were linked upto a 32"tv. One of the lads, got 'animal farm' up and turned the tv on and left it, the teacher only realised when the lesson had ended.
My Maths techer was on Who wants to be a millionaire?
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