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Author Post a joke.... To help cheer somebody up! :-)
Whittie
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Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
1 Post per person, 1 joke per post....


GO!
weedon
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 08
Location: Eastwood, Nottinghamshire
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:43   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Why can't you fool Lily allens baby? because it wasn't born yesterday
Brett
Premium Member

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Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:43   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I'll echo a joke from a previous thread because it's so awesome...

What do you get when you cross Harvey Price with a Pritt Stick?

Sticky black spastic
Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
The person I need to cheer up works with disabled kids for a living, so probably not the best two examples
Brett
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Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:45   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Bissmire
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Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
A couple are having sex outside at night, when the man says 'I wish I had a torch'

The women replies, 'so do I, you've been licking that slug on the grass for the last ten minutes'.
Jamie-C
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Registered: 3rd Jun 08
Location: Ballycastle
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Your mother is like a bike with no breaks
p
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Registered: 20th Apr 04
Location: England
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Cosmo
Matt.H
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Registered: 12th Mar 03
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 15:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I had a super wank last night. Its just like a normal wank but I get to wear a cape.
sc0ott
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Registered: 16th Feb 09
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 16:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
your mothers like a matress with legs.
Dr Pepper
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Registered: 21st Sep 02
Location: oxford Drives Renault Clio RS200
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 16:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Did you hear about Evil Kenevils cousin from alabama ..... his name was Ku Klux Kenevil ...... He tried to jump over a thousand niggers with a steamroller
ashleh
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Registered: 23rd Dec 08
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 16:35   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
My girlfriend takes me by the hand and leads me down to the games room.

She gets on top of the snooker table and onto her hands and knees.

She's got on a skirt and I can see she's not wearing any knickers.

"Your choice," she says. "Pink or brown."

I said, "How the fuck can I play snooker when you're on the table?!"

Stupid cow.
SXIBLK
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Registered: 9th Feb 10
Location: Barnoldswick
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 16:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I bought the missus a pair of Liverpool knickers over the weekend... 2 yanks and they're down.
Mad Moe
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Registered: 14th Jun 01
Location: Northumberland
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 16:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Arguing with my wife is like comparing dick sizes with a nigger, I'll never win.
Eck
Premium Member

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Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 16:45   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Just shows you how much we rely on twisted jokes
Limecat
Banned
Registered: 25th Jun 05
Location: The Internet
User status: Offline
2nd Nov 10 at 16:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Why does it take two gay men to rape a girl?
One holds her down while the other does her hair.

 
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