SRi_Lad
Member
Registered: 10th Sep 02
User status: Offline
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Every year the FBI is asked to investigate over 36,000 Serious Crimes
including Suspicious Deaths and Homicides. Every year the Homicide
Investigations Unit puts out its Top 12 Homicides of the year.
1 Alan Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a 20 inch
long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husband's strange sex
practices and one night during a prolonged session of fun she snapped,
pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into Alan's anus until it ruptured
several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.
2 Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the
road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her
aughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was hit by the truck
delivering her birthday cake.
3 Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8 year old daughter, who he
had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if
she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat
poison tablets into her father's coffee as he prepared dinner. The victim
took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given a suspended
sentence as the judge felt she didn't realise what she was doing, until she
tried to poison her mother using the same method one month later.
4 David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he
attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with
double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given it
to her an hour before the date started, just in case.
5 Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay
his rent for 8 years.
The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat
after he realised just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.
6 Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered
onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking
slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled
Boo!. The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots
between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a
very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.
7 Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she
talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a
cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken ariel.
8 Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms
was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a
period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium
composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation
poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total hair loss,
skin welts, blindness, extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the
victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.
9 Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading
her car with Trintynitrate explosive similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was
driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as
powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several
persons some up to 14 kilometres away. No trace of the car or the victim
were ever found, only a 55 metre deep crater, and 500m of missing road.
10 Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early
hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted
F4 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed
at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly
complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential
risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to
remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over
for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't
know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into
the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing
her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.
11 Michael Lewis, angry at his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard With
a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an
almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double sided white board
that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK on the
other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off.
Two minutes later Berry was deceased.
12 Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian
after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their
parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense of
smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck back
later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with gas. He
then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry for the
spree, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar,
destroying the house, and himself in the process.
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elfunkyo
Member
Registered: 25th Mar 02
Location: Mighty Geordie Country
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SRi_Lad
7 Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she
talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a
cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken ariel.
 fucking hell that's a bit harsh!
 they're all very good though
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SRi_Lad
Michael Lewis, angry at his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard With
a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an
almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK on the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.
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Cavey
Member
Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
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9 Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading
her car with Trintynitrate explosive similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was
driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as
powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several
persons some up to 14 kilometres away. No trace of the car or the victim
were ever found, only a 55 metre deep crater, and 500m of missing road.
now THAT's the way to kill someone !!!
I think the Jet Engine one was pretty good as well
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Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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surely they aint real , they r funny as fcuk tho!
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Makarus
Member
Registered: 25th Jun 02
Location: Nottingham/Derbyshire Boarder.
User status: Offline
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I am sure they aint real, but this is america we are talking about........very good and funny though, given me some idea's.
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Tommy
Member
Registered: 24th Aug 00
Location: Essex, Colchester
User status: Offline
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6 Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered
onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking
slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled
Boo!. The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots
between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a
very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.
Got to be the best one
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Qulality
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Dav
Member
Registered: 23rd Jul 02
Location: Falkirk, Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Makarus
very good and funny though, given me some idea's.
Remind me never to piss this man off!!
They are funny tho Only in America eh!
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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4 David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he
attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with
double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given it
to her an hour before the date started, just in case.
PMSL
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