Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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"I was cleaning out the attic the other day with the wife. Filthy, dirty and
covered with cobwebs.... but she's good with the kids..."
So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said I want to buy an ice-cream' He
said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said
'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these
trousers, yes.'
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home." "That sounds like Tom
Jones syndrome. " "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round." The Other one says
"so are you, you fat b*stard"
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll
give you some cream to put on it."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything
you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he
picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says
"I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No,
because he's really heavy"
Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. One says to the other, "Have you
ever been picked up by the fuzz?" The other replies, "No, but I've been swung
around by the tits!"
A man gets on a train and sits next to a young woman reading a book called 'Sex
Statistics'. "Any good?", he asks. "Fascinating - American Indians have the
widest pricks, and Polishmen the longest. By the way, I'm Jane." "Hi," he says.
"I'm Tonto Palawlaski."
A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long
time." The man replied "I know, I've been ill"
I was driving down the motorway with my bird the other day when we both got a
bit frisky and decided to do something about it. So we decided we'd take the
next exit, but it was a turn-off.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2
years.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
A man walked into the doctor's, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places."
The doctor said "Well don't go there any more."
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Sooty
Banned
Registered: 9th Mar 03
Location: FLAP CENTRAL
User status: Offline
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HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
User status: Offline
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too long to read 
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Sooty
Banned
Registered: 9th Mar 03
Location: FLAP CENTRAL
User status: Offline
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Drew
too long to read
grrr stop bein lazy
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Colin.S
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 02
User status: Offline
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Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round." The Other one says
"so are you, you fat b*stard"
I love that one.
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Drew
Banned
Registered: 24th Nov 01
Location: County Durham
User status: Offline
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lmfao@colin - class
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Sooty
Banned
Registered: 9th Mar 03
Location: FLAP CENTRAL
User status: Offline
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I only like mac jokes at the moment, it's worrying me
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Colin.S
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 02
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Sooty
I only like mac jokes at the moment, it's worrying me
You heard the breeze block one?
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