drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub
>>>>>>>is
>>>>>>> when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a
>>>>>>>complete
>>>>>>> stranger.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green
>>>>>>>crisps.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
>>>>>>> 55378008 into a calculator.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really
>>>>>>>manly.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or
>>>>>>>not
>>>>>>> to have a fire in your back garden.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 9) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 11) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 13) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a
>>>>>>> bouncy ball.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 14) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your
>>>>>>>school
>>>>>>>16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is
>>>>>>>to
>>>>>>>call your teacher mum or dad.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would
>>>>>>>kill
>>>>>>>you at the first given opportunity.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>18) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
>>>>>>>half way through and then raced against the flush.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>20) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>21) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>22) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>23) You never ever run out of salt.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>24) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>25) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>26) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when
>>>>>>>you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>28) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who
>>>>>>>has
>>>>>>>had their arm broken by a swan.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>29) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
>>>>>>>stepping on an upturned plug.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>30) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>31) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin
>>>>>>>piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>33) Bricks are horrible to carry.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>34) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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too much to read 
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sxi boy
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
Location: north east Drives: clio 182
User status: Offline
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yesh i couldnt be arsed either 
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Tracey
Member
Registered: 27th Aug 03
User status: Offline
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27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
 this is true- i have "NO" idea where ive got them from, i certainly didnt by em, but yet- i have them
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
half way through and then raced against the flush. Glad im not the only one!
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Darren M
Member
Registered: 22nd Mar 01
Location: Luton : Drives : Vectra B Sri
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tracey
27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
this is true- i have "NO" idea where ive got them from, i certainly didnt by em, but yet- i have them
i put them there 
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by drunkenfool
19) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed
half way through and then raced against the flush. Glad im not the only one!
PMSL I do that LOL Specially wen im pissed up
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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30) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
So true! (im only reposting a coupld for the people that are too lazy to read them above! )
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combatprojex
Member
Registered: 12th Oct 03
Location: Wellingborough Drives: Corsa 1.2 16v & proud of it
User status: Offline
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i read it all!!!!
some troo... some strange.
like:
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
(what if its broken all four legs??)
and:
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
whats that about??
very good tho 
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Shane
Member
Registered: 10th Jan 04
User status: Offline
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>>>>>>>29) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
>>>>>>>stepping on an upturned plug.
no i would say kicking a doorframe
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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great  !
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Mav 3000
Member
Registered: 16th Aug 01
Location: Leicestershire
User status: Offline
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Thats Peter Kay BTW
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NormSXi
Member
Registered: 26th Sep 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by drunkenfool
>>>>>>> 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits
>>>>>>> 55378008 into a calculator.
PMSL!!!! How true!!!! Or 5318008, or 710 77345......
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CorsaLad16v
Member
Registered: 5th Mar 03
Location: Sheffield UK Drives: VW Golf
User status: Offline
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07734 is the most obvious too
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Peter Kay
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CorsaLad
Member
Registered: 25th Sep 01
User status: Offline
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i thought that was peter kay! still funny tho
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