Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Please add yours 
bloke: "would you like to dance"
girl: "eugh no thanks"
Bloke: " sorry I think you misheard me, I said you look fat in that dress"
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chris_uk
Premium Member
Registered: 8th Jul 03
User status: Offline
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erm.. should the first and last line sound the same?
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by chris_uk
erm.. should the first and last line sound the same?
Nope that's the funniest bit imo, say it to yourself
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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Mde me laugh !
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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Danny P
Member
Registered: 20th Nov 02
Location: Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Took a while..............................
but
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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bloke: "can I buy you a drink"
girl: "GTF"
Bloke: " sorry I think you misheard me, I said your breath dosnt half stink"
That the idea
[Edited on 09-08-2004 by Kolin]
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chris_uk
Premium Member
Registered: 8th Jul 03
User status: Offline
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yes kolin.. well done.
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Kolin
bloke: "can I buy you a drink"
girl: "GTF"
Bloke: " sorry I think you misheard me, I said your breath dosnt half stink"
That the idea
[Edited on 09-08-2004 by Kolin]
Yes-ish  but I just meant in general
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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Mine was better tho
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PaulW
Member
Registered: 26th Jan 03
Location: Atherton, Greater Manchester
User status: Offline
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Bloke: Fancy a Shag??
Women: What?
Bloke: Oh just fuck it & bend over bitch!
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Fear
Member
Registered: 20th Nov 02
Location: Down off the hill
User status: Offline
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bloke: "would you like a shag"
girl: "eugh no thanks"
Bloke: " sorry I think you misheard me, I said you look like a fag"
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morrisdaboss
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: Feltham, have you?
User status: Offline
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bloke: if i asked you for your number, would i be too blunt.
woman: no piss off
bloke: you misheard me i said your face looks like a cunt.
[Edited on 09-08-2004 by MORRIS69]
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Nismo
Member
Registered: 12th Sep 02
User status: Offline
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bloke: "Hay lads , look at that silly bitch"
girl: "what did you say"
Bloke: "by eck i got a right old itch"
not so much a chat up line but formal abuse 
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michelle
Member
Registered: 15th Oct 03
Location: Kirkintilloch, Glasgow
User status: Offline
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I know how to please a woman.
Then please leave me alone.
I want to give myself to you.
Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
May I see you pretty soon?
Don't you think I'm pretty now?
Your hair color is fabulous.
Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
You look like a dream.
Go back to sleep.
I can tell that you want me.
Yes, I want you to leave.
Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Do not enter.
or
Stop.
I'd go through anything for you.
Let's start with your bank account.
May I have the last dance?
You've just had it.
I would go to the end of the world for you.
Yes, but would you stay there?
Your place or mine?
Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.
Your body is like a temple.
Sorry, there are no services today.
Is this seat empty?
Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?
Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing.
[Edited on 09-08-2004 by michelle]
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michelle
Member
Registered: 15th Oct 03
Location: Kirkintilloch, Glasgow
User status: Offline
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Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
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Pablo
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
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Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
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morrisdaboss
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: Feltham, have you?
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by michelle
bloke: I know how to please a woman.
women: Then please leave me alone.
bloke: you misheard me i said have you ever been a man?
bloke: I want to give myself to you.
woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
bloke: you misheard me i said your armpit smells of poo (  )
bloke: May I see you pretty soon?
woman: Don't you think I'm pretty now?
bloke: you misheard me i said your ass is the size of the moon
blOke: You look like a dream.
woman; Go back to sleep.
bloke: you misheard me i said have you ever heard of spot cream
bloke: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
woman: Do not enter.
or
Stop.
bloke: oh i was guessing 'wide load'
bloke: I'd go through anything for you.
woman: Let's start with your bank account.
bloke: lets start with the reasons why you dont shave that moustache.
bloke: May I have the last dance?
woman: You've just had it.
bloke: you misheard me said hairy legs are the fashion in france
bloke: I would go to the end of the world for you.
woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
bloke: you misheard me i said i think im gonna hurl over you
bloke: Your place or mine?
woman: Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.
bloke: what are you a fooking lezzer?
bloke: Your body is like a temple.
woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
bloke: like the taj mahal you fat cunt
bloke: Is this seat empty?
woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
bloke: good nobody likes to be sat next to an ugly slag for too long
bloke: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
woman: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?
bloke: you misheard me i said your face looks like the backend of a car
bloke: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
bloke: you misheard me i said did you borrow that dress from a whore
bloke: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
woman: If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing.
bloke: you misheard me i said you smell of shit, need a nappy
nothing perssonel, i was just bored at work
[Edited on 09-08-2004 by MORRIS69]
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michelle
Member
Registered: 15th Oct 03
Location: Kirkintilloch, Glasgow
User status: Offline
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AndyCorsa
Member
Registered: 24th Oct 03
Location: Macclesfield, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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PMSL @ this thread
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