swedge
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 07
Location: Hawick,scotland drives: 1.4 sri corsa
User status: Offline
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One day a 12-year old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the window was wound down.
"I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car", said the male driver.
"No way, get stuffed", replied the boy.
How about a bag of lollies and £10?" asked the driver.
"I said no way", replied the irritated youngster.
"What about a bag of lollies and FIFTY QUID, eh"? quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy.
"No, I'm not getting in the fricken car!" answered the boy
"OK, I know what you want, I'll give you £100 and a bag of lollies", the driver offered.
"NO," screamed the boy.
"What will it take to get you into the car"? asked the driver with a long sigh.
The boy replied, "Listen Dad, you bought the Skoda, you live with it."
sry if it offends anyone lol
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swedge
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 07
Location: Hawick,scotland drives: 1.4 sri corsa
User status: Offline
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An elderly English gentleman of 93 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
'You have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
'Then you should know enough, monsieur, to have your passport ready.
The Englishman said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.
'Impossible monsieur, the English always have to show their passports on arrival in France !
The Englishman gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained.........................................
'Well, last time I came ashore, I couldn't find any f*******g Frenchmen on the beach to show it to.
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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first one is old and has been posted before
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swedge
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 07
Location: Hawick,scotland drives: 1.4 sri corsa
User status: Offline
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everyone likes a pearoast now and again
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bigdan
Member
Registered: 4th Jan 07
Location: Jarrow (Newcastle)
User status: Offline
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i liked the second 1 
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All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
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Same here, second joke was funnier 
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