Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
|
1.Jonk is [this comment has been removed due to legal action by the Church of Scientology]
2. Jonk is on a 90-day diet. So far I’ve lost 45 days.
3. Jonk is crying for no particular reason other than the fact that my cat spontaneously combusted.
4. Jonk is is out clubbing this weekend. im going to break my record of 12 baby seals
5. Jonk is “in your face book account, deleting your friends”
6. Jonk is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll… brace yourself..
7. Jonk joined facebook. Jonk sent 34,123 flirts. Jonk left facebook.
8. Jonk has almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left him before they met.
9. Jonk is wondering about the speed of dark?
10. Jonk is wondering how do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
11. Jonk is running out of places to hide the bodies…
12. Jonk tried to join a tourette’s support group and they told me to piss off
13. Jonk got thrown out of the casino last night due to possible misinterpretation of the term “craps table”
14. Jonk is getting a grip on reality..and choking it to death
15. Jonk - if money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
16. Jolene is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house…
17. Jonk is “beating cancer, and by cancer he means children.”
18. Jonk doesn’t want to achieve immortality through his work… Jonk wants to achieve it through not dying.
19. Jonk places his boss under a pedestal.
20. Jonk is sure he has a photographic memory. He just doesn’t have film.
21. Jonk is using his iShin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
22. Jonk is thinking to join the army - join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
23. Jonk just got scared half to death twice
24. Jonk used to have an open mind but his brains kept falling out.
25. Jonk wants a meaningful overnight relationship.
26. Jonk is having an excellent adventure with Bill and Ted
27. Jonk has so many facebook friends that any new applicants have to sit through a three stage interview process.
28. Jonk is putting the pro into procrastination
29. Jonk is more frustrated than an Amish electrician
30. Jonk puts the laughter in manslaughter
31. Jonk puts the FUN in dysfunctional
32. Jonk is snail mailing a snail. Just to say I did it.
33. Jonk - easier said than done…
34. Jonk is wondering if a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
35. Jonk - now available in widescreen
36. Jonk wants to make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘get a life”
37. Jonk is planning to be spontaneous tomorrow.
38. Jonk is thinking Pandora didn’t think outside the box.
39. Jonk is trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
40. Jonk is revoking your creative license.
41. Jonk puts the pro in procrastinate
42. Jonk says, do me a favour, and don’t do me anymore favours!
43. Jonk is amazed at the alarming drop-out rate of sky diving classes.
44. Jonk has 20/20 hearing!
45 Jonk - so poor he can’t even give you his two cents!
46. Jonk is so poor that he can’t even afford to pay attention.
47. Jonk is so broke that he’s going to KFC to lick other peoples fingers.
48. Jonk is wondering “if swimming is good for your figure, then why are whales so damn fat..?
49. Jonk intends to live forever, so far so good…
50. Jonk tired of his probation officer’s bad attitude…
51. Jonk is two with nature
52. Jonk spend less money doing laundry this year and more money on deodorant.
53. Jonk wants to romantically wish you a happy valentines day…via facebook status…cuz you wont return my phone calls…
54. Jonk’s girlfriend came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her. So I hit her over the head with my Playstation.
55. Jonk - Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
56. Jonk - My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
57. Jonk says: that nothing shouts “I love you” more than somebody Else’s creativity widely distributed on recycled paper.
58. Jonkette is: eating and extravagant assortment of valentines day chocolates…she bought for herself…
59. Jonk: I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
60. Jonk says: every moment i’m with you I want to walk in front of a bus…HAPPY Valentines Day…
61. Jonk wonders what will happen when Polish mothers start reading facebook statuses : “What do you mean you feel lonely? Your father and I are very worried…”
62. Jonk logged in and saw you logged in. Then I logged off and logged in
2 hours again - you were still logged in. Get A Life! … OK yeah I was logged in all this time too. (feel shame)
63. Jonk is just two away from a threesome
64. Jonk is “added new photos to the album “”Porn”"
65. Jonk is stimulating his package
67. Jonk is brought to you by the letters W T F
68. Jonk is not scared of heights…. just widths
69. Jonk is about to mail my check for $1500 to Nigeria for the $15million lottery i just won! Cya later SUCKAS!!
70. Jonk always asks himself: “What would Gandalf do”?
71. Jonk says ignorance is bliss, but on Youtube it’s a prerequisite.
72. Jonk says that just because nobody understands you, doesn’t make you an artist.
73. Jonk - pardon me but your status is showing
74. Jonk hates people that take drugs… customs for example
75. Jonk can only please one person a day. Today’s not your day… tomorrow’s not looking good either.
76. Jonk says a train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
77. Jonk cant understand why constipated people don't give a crap
78. Jonk would give his right arm to be ambidextrous
79. Jonk says without ME you’re just AWESO
80. Jonk wonders if there's another word for “thesaurus”
81. Jonk would have sent you some virtual chocolates but he virtually ate them all.
82. Jonk says 4/3 of americans has trouble with fractions.
83. Jonk is a secret agent…oh crap.
84. Jonk says silence is golden but duct tape is silver
85. Jonkette told her husband he is like a fine wine and just gets better with age…that is why he is locked in the basement.
86. Jonk grew up on the street………………..Sesame Street….
87. Jonk is thinking the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades
88. Jonk says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
89. Jonk knows that there are 3 kinds of people on facebook, Those who can count and those who can’t.
90. Jonk thinks there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don’t.
91. Jonk why is it that whenever there’s two women in a profile pic the hot one is someone else..?
92. Jonk is the reason Wally is hiding
93. Jonk never finishes wat he sta
94. Jonk is proof reading to make sure he hasn’t any words out.
95. Jonk is loving the smell of napalm in the morning.
96. Jonk is an unlicensed helicopter pilot
97. Jonk can increase your penis size by 30%!!!!
98. Jonk is planning to quit the day he gets fired.
99. Jonk’s vocabulary is as bad as, like, whatever
100. Jonk once killed 2 stones with one bird.
|
LukeS
Member
Registered: 25th Nov 07
Location: Ormskirk
User status: Offline
|
|
fir3vip3r
Member
Registered: 14th Jun 06
Location: Stevenage, Hertfordshire
User status: Offline
|
wtf is JONK apart from a load of old jokes?
|
stubs
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 02
Location: Bolton
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by pip308
28. Jonk is putting the pro into procrastination
...
41. Jonk puts the pro in procrastinate
So good they said it twice? 
|
BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
|
Seems like a load of spam.
I saw we burn him at the stake.
|
3lfz
Member
Registered: 16th Nov 08
Location: Torquay
User status: Offline
|
Idk what Jonk is but this one was funny. 
21. Jonk is using his iShin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
|
Pip308
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
Location: Basingstoke Drives: Audi A4 Avant, Mk1 Caddy
User status: Offline
|
i thought some were funny, jonk is anon, johndoe etc...
|
Rob_Lee
Banned
Registered: 9th Dec 05
Location: Folkestone Drives: Nova 1.6 16v
User status: Offline
|
got bored after about 10 
|
Shelly
Premium Member
Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
User status: Offline
|
aww I thought some of those were funny!
|
