Kevxx
Member
Registered: 14th May 08
Location: Forfar, Angus
User status: Offline
|
THE BELL IS A SIGNAL FOR ME, NOT FOR YOU!
...
...
...
...
NOW YOU MAY GO
ever had your teacher do that?
or i remember in German Class in high school
me "can i go to toilet please?"
Teacher " in german Kevin.."
me "can i go to zee toilet pleaze".
anybody else got some classics? i can't remember alot of stuff i did in school but im sure once the ball gets rolling we'll get some corkers
|
Tomnova16
Premium Member
Registered: 21st Jan 06
Location: Gerrards Cross Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
|
i remember we were in the library and in the room next door there was the special needs class (not retards just dyslexic)
it was behind a sliding door. we were being quite loud as the librarian couldnt control us  then the sliding door slid open and the teacher stood there for a second and then said "SILENCE,,,,The special needs children are trying to LEARRRNNNN" then shut the door again.
She was old and sounded like skeletor, so it stuck for the rest of school and still gets brought up now. Probably had to be there but im still chuckling now
http://www.lemass.co.uk/ for all your automotive/bodyshop needs
Located in Chalfont st Peter
|
Baskey
Member
Registered: 31st May 06
User status: Offline
|
Had a gcse french listening exam in which we had to listen to a tape and then write shit down.
Anyway i swapped the tape for some drum and bass ( nicky blackmarket and shabba or whatever)and wacked up the volume. When the teacher put it on and drum and bass came hammering out the poor old dear didnt have a clue what was going on. All the kids were pissing themself
[Edited on 28-01-2010 by Baskey]
|
Kevxx
Member
Registered: 14th May 08
Location: Forfar, Angus
User status: Offline
|
hahaha!! thats fucking class!
That reminds me, remember them talking exams you did in class? well me and my friend got send to a tape recorder in German, meant to ask questions, answer then swap around. We ended up doing a rap and general pissing about. It got handed in, oddly teacher wasn't impressed the next day!
|
noshua
Member
Registered: 19th Nov 08
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Baskey
Had a gcse french listening exam in which we had to listen to a tape and then write shit down.
Anyway i swapped the tape for some drum and bass ( nicky blackmarket and shabba or whatever)and wacked up the volume. When she put it on the poor old dear didnt have a clue what was going on. All the kids were pissing themself
LOL
edit; I can remember doing music class, with keyboards, and our group (4 or 5) went into one of the 3 music rooms and there was about 8 keyboards, all the same. They all had the pre-set Starwars theme tune, we hooked them a couple of them up to the amps that were in the room and blasted out the Starwars tune... probably had to be there and be about 14!
[Edited on 28-01-2010 by noshua]
|
stubs
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 02
Location: Bolton
User status: Offline
|
"Wet dinners" where you had to stay in the classroom because it was raining too much
One-way corridors and getting a right bollocking for walking up them the wrong way between lessons
"Fingers on lips" in primary school when the class were making too much noise
I remember the shit assemblys we used to have.. and one year there was a whole school assembly and a number of classes were selected to do a 5-min presentation.. one of them were from our year and they were doing something about phrases and their meanings (e.g. "thick as 2 short planks")... one of the lads came out with "don't look at the mantlepiece whilst poking the fire"... ha ha you should have seen the look on everyone's face, boy was he dragged off stage quick! ha ha ha
|
Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
|
Christ, secondary school was my playground, best 5 years of my life.
Stand out things are
Throwing preserved remains of animals out of a first floor window
Pulling apart a wooden stall, then putting it back together in a fashion where if touched it would fall apart, queue Richie coming straight in and sitting on it, I've never seen a funny sight than when he sat on it and the whole thing Richie included dispeared in a cloud of body and wood.
Digging up floor tiles in the same room.
Using magnesium that ignites in water to temporary blind everyone.
Feeding a tuna sandwich into the disk drive of the only computer in the history block
Ink fights that got way out of hand, we would come out of Science completely covered, in our hair, faces and not just boys either the entire science class.
Filling up peoples bags in Tech with hacksaws, screwdrivers, wood, rulers anything you could lay your hand on and pissing ourselves when they went to pick it up.
Using junior hacksaws to chop the legs off stools and getting caught half way through and just droping the hacksaw on the floor, that was in RE in our tech class which was a recipe for disaster.
Same RE class we had an Indian and Pakistani lads, good lads TBH but they hated each other and would get really violent with each other even though they were a pair of pussys it was hilarious.
Locking the Year 11 Drama class in the drama studio when we put a chair through the door, each year had an assembly to highlight the dangers that could have happened had they been trapped.
Bunking off lessons in Year 11 and raiding the sports hall for footballs, not being able to find footballs and just finding basketballs so we went over the field still on school grounds and proceeded to start seeing who could hit the gutter of the History block and my mate absolutely pelting the ball and missing the gutters by a mile and it screaming against the window, seeing that window wobble in slow motion was scary/funny all at the same time as there would have been kids in there and if it smashed deep shit for us. We legged it and were never caught.
Spending the last couple of weeks in isolation in a room with just 4 desks, no windows and utter silence to make sure I was always in school and not bunking out and about on my scooter, that was horrendous.
I miss school, thats how you should spend your entire life, in the company of friends with no responsiblities nobody expects anything of you and just laughing from 9am to 3.30pm.
|
oceansoul
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 06
Location: Sunbury, Surrey
User status: Offline
|
Had a teacher that would always say to us when we were being howdy "Ive already got my GCSE's, i dont need to be here. You do" She wasnt too impressed with being told to "fuck off then".
|
johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
|
Lads used to turn the gas taps on in Chemistry and set them on fire. 6ft Flames
Used to mix all the chemicals in Chemistry too, non of the tests could have possibly been fair as all the acids were mixed up. Nothing was what it said on the bottle.
|
Simon
Member
Registered: 24th Apr 03
Location: Oxfordshire
User status: Offline
|
I had a mate that always had those pombear crisps that were really tasty, everyone always wanted some so he would unzip his flies, put the packet down there and eat them from his crotch every break
|
aim1
Member
Registered: 26th Jun 06
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
|
We had a dippy English teacher who made the mistake of saying thats its ok to swear if you are quoting something...and then facing a barrage of "fuck you quote Shakespeare" for the following weeks whilst we studied Hamlet. As well as McMuff instead of Mcduff, little nuggets like that were the best.
lad in my French class who used to light his Lynx deodorant under the desk..the noise of the flame and then the smell of burnt Africa.
Old Chemistry teacher who used to walk round the room and people would clip Science tongs to her lab coat constantly. If that wasn't enough one lad chucked a whole bottle of ethanol onto the desk turned the gas tap on and lit it. Nutter that got transferred into my school also locked the classroom door on her during a lesson and started threatening her (That female teacher used to come in to my Co-op and buy strong lager to ease the stress).
Strip light bulbs as light sabers, ninja stars flying accross the room, people shooting you with BB guns tucked under their arms/coats.
I was a square but was asked to get a CD out of my history teacher's car.. and promptly moved it to a different car park without telling her. She was alright about it though. She said she was going to go travelling in Australia so I said are you worried about skin cancer and she said "Nah, i'd rather die tanned than pasty"
[Edited on 28-01-2010 by aim1]
|
johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
|
Actually, my little sister came out with the best one for me.
Her teacher was deaf so her and another of her mates went around the whole form class and told everyone to mime instead of speaking
The teacher was baffled, he took his hearing aids out and checked them over.
|
Seany
Member
Registered: 13th Dec 06
Location: Dunfermline, Fife : Drives Astra cdti Sri
User status: Offline
|
i remember someone broke into our school and flled the swimming pool with goldfish and red dye, also the chairs and tables were set out on the roof of the geography building exactly the same as if they were inside.
we used to pretend to have earthquakes in r.e shaking the tables and chairs and throwing books everywhere, we made 3 teachers leave
also i remember getting suspended for throwing bottles of opened juice across the playground and hitting the rector in the face
|
Welsh Dan
Member
Registered: 23rd Mar 00
User status: Offline
|
The old Casio watches with the built in TV remotes
The amount of videos that we never got to watch was unreal
|
johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by Welsh Dan
The old Casio watches with the built in TV remotes
The amount of videos that we never got to watch was unreal
I did this too
Until i got accused of wiping a tape in cooking tech
|
Rich H
Member
Registered: 26th Oct 05
Location: West Sussex Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
|
Think the best ones were out ICT classes.
1 particular teacher who was head of ICT yet ironically the most retarded with a computer!
So, her PC was linked up to an interactive white board so she could demonstrate to the class - perfect!
The ones I can remember:
Running Windows RG full screen on her computer - took her over an hour to realise it wasn't real Windows - she though it had a virus apparently 
Swapping keyboard and mouse with a guys computer just in front of her PC so he could control her PC whilst pretending to do his work - again managed to get away with that one for an entire lesson
Changing the admin password on her PC whilst she was out the room and logging out so she couldn't get in.
Turning projector on when she didn't realise so we were able to watch exactly what she was doing - surfing extra large section of various clothing sites
And finally plugging headphones into all 30 computers in the class and hiding them, cranking volume right up and getting everybody to play this through them on loop for most the lesson : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfxv_lw2CDw
There were various other things we used to do with other teachers too, but the ICT one's were easiest and usually the funniest lol.
[Edited on 28-01-2010 by Rich H]
|
a_j_mair
Member
Registered: 23rd Jan 04
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
|
i once managed to through a paper aeroplane at my teacher from the desk right at the front of the class un detected
it got stuck under his arm, was absolutely priceless he had no idea where it came from and was going to keep the whole class in then blamed a boy at the back
i ended up owning up to it
|
Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
|
Never really got into serious shit at school although i remember a few of us sticking a load of balloons on the gas taps in one of the science labs, placing candles a few cm away from the balloon and then legging it out of the block. Teachers would then just rush about the block when they heard the explosions
Also remember knocking up thermite in a science lesson as the prep teacher left iron oxide and alu on the side, managed to burn a hole through an art table in the art block a few hours later.
Remember lobbing a CD across a room, someone wanted it back, and it flying straight towards the front of the class and twatting the teacher right in the head - that didn't go down too well.
[Edited on 28-01-2010 by Dom]
|
a_j_mair
Member
Registered: 23rd Jan 04
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
|
we used to leave the magnifying glass on the window cill in art over lunch to see what we could burn
|
Shane
Member
Registered: 10th Jan 04
User status: Offline
|
flicking ink at the science teachers white lab coats,
drinking pure alcohol in science.
went on a history trip to germany, went into this war musem, walked all the way through without looking at anything then decieded to find a shop that sold drink, got totally wankered with a mate, found our way back 2 hours later and no 1 had noticed we had gone.
Generally smashing windows with anything to hand
branding a teacher a pedo, he soon left
making the german teacher cry by calling her a blonde blue eyed nazi girl.
smoking in the tennis courts.
telling every teacher that i lost my books every lesson in the end i had to leave them in the class every lesson, which ment i didnt hav to carry them anymore.
leaving fish behind rads
there are loads more lol
|
Kevxx
Member
Registered: 14th May 08
Location: Forfar, Angus
User status: Offline
|
i mind a lad in my tech class grassed me up for something, so i sanded his entire project away on them massive belt sanders.  hehe
|
dannymccann
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 06
Location: Doddington, Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
|
Fuck me, good times 
Some things that stuck out for me:
Sellotape + Lynx = Smoke grenade in the RE room
Swapping the 'Gandhi Information Video' for a hardcore porno, whilst also glueing the stop and pause buttons on both the remote and VCR so it went for longer
Pouring curdled pink milkshake all in the RE teachers markbook, then closing it up, only for him to find it several hours later
Our form room was on the top floor with stairs opposite it, so a sort of balcony thing with venders below, so we used to throw huge textbooks at them and they made the loudest fucking bang you have heard in a school
6 of us picked one of said venders up and tilted it and shook it till a load of stuff fell out
The old flicking ink using a fountain pen trick
Said balcony perving over the side at the voluptuous female sixth formers
This psycho kid (who I believe is now in a mental health hospital) flamethrower'd his own name into the school playing field with deodorant and a lighter
Messing up the cricket pitch playing football on it meant 'caretaker willy' (dunno what his name was, but we nicknamed him after simpsons) came along on his shonky 3 wheeled truck to steal our football, so we stole said truck and binned it down a ditch (they had to go to the construction yard 2 streets away to borrow a bulldozer to tow it out )
When we were at sixth form we would get a convoy of everyone with subs and amps to drive past library at full volume playing drum and bass
I remember Kisbee playing really interested in seeing our teachers newly born boy till she brought pictures in and then declared he looked like a walrus and that she had a fat forehead (its real harsh but was funny at the time, we were 15 after all  ), she didnt stay much longer
We had the old style flip-up desks so we would bang them really hard every time the teacher turned around
We had those big roller boards that were felt chalk board / whiteboard, so we would write and draw all sorts of shit on it (usually with a permanent marker) especially when we knew year 7's were next in
In woodwork we used to make spears on the sanders
We used to frisbee textbooks across the room when the teacher turned around
Set the firealarms off
These are the things that spring to mind 
|
DannyB
Premium Member
Registered: 6th Feb 08
User status: Offline
|
Once, someone set fire to one of the sanitry bins in the girls toilets, the reek was awfull, it stunk one part of the school out with a strong smokey bacon smell for weeks.
|
Dom
Member
Registered: 13th Sep 03
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by DannyB
Once, someone set fire to one of the sanitry bins in the girls toilets, the reek was awfull, it stunk one part of the school out with a strong smokey bacon smell for weeks.
FPMSL
|
stuartmitchell
Member
Registered: 24th Apr 04
Location: Kirkliston, Edinburgh
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by johnhara1
quote:
Originally posted by Welsh Dan
The old Casio watches with the built in TV remotes
The amount of videos that we never got to watch was unreal
I did this too
Until i got accused of wiping a tape in cooking tech
I got suspended for using mine repeatedly in Geography
Even Flicked onto Teletext and got the league tables up
|
