Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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So a couple of weeks ago a put up a post regarding the etiquette of intersexual drink-buying at bars. Lo and behold, this past weekend a friend of mine got burned at the tav by falling for the exact trap that my post warned against. Accordingly, I felt compelled to repost for the benefit of all the beautiful women in Salt Lake who don't want to scroll all the way down to find the original post. This may be redundant, but I cannot in good conscience let this phenomenon go overlooked. So here it is again: Why I didn't Buy You a Drink.
You: Cute girl at the bar.
Me: The guy you chatted with while waiting for our drinks.
The Topic: Why I didn’t buy you a drink.
The Audience: Women everywhere, please read this. I know it’s long, but I feel the length is expedient to truly illustrating and arguing my point.
I was waiting to order right as things were getting crazy. It was obvious that it would be a long wait. What can I say? I can’t compete with all the douches yelling for jager bombs. It was then that you appeared. A cute, petite, slightly hipster-ish girl standing next to me, waiting to order as well. The conversation began in the typical manner, simply relating on how frustrating it is when you spend half a night out just waiting for a drink. It then evolved into a true conversation. I spent the next twenty minutes finding out you have great taste in music, movies and literature. You laughed at my jokes, and that’s a big deal to average-looking guys like me.
Unfortunately, after we’d both finished our respective drinks, but were still immersed in discussion, you dropped a bomb that sent shrapnel into my heart.
“So are you gonna buy me a drink or what?”
I had been dreading this moment. I’ve learned from hard experience that any prolonged conversation with a girl at a club or a bar inevitably requires a fee of rum and coke, vodka tonic, or God forbid, a cosmo. As cute as you were, I felt obligated to retain my self-respect.
“Sorry, I don’t buy girls drinks. Just kind of my policy.”
You looked at me like I told you I was going to rape your dog Charlie (yes, I remember his name). Your face morphed from a beautiful smile into a twisted caricature of shock, revulsion, and utter disbelief.
“Seriously, you’re not gonna buy me a drink? What’s your problem?”
Well sweetheart, let me explain to you in detail my logic regarding this decision that you found so unbelievable:
1. I’ve been going to bars for a couple of years now. I enjoy meeting people when I do. I enjoy meeting attractive girls like yourself. I have, however, learned that buying girls drinks is a sucker’s game. Yes, it has developed into sharing my bed for the night a couple times, but 90% of the time, all it does is give me a higher bar tab. Now you might say I’m a prick for expecting a girl to sleep with me just because I buy her a drink. I agree an $8 cocktail does not and should not equal a sexual encounter. However, I believe spending time and money on a girl when I could be having a good night out with my friends does entitle me at least one of the following things: You reciprocating by buying me a drink, you giving me your phone number and/or going out on a date with me, where once again I will be spending time and money on you. Notice that sex is not a requirement or expectation that is coupled with any of these options. Now, of course, if I had offered to buy you a drink, and you accepted, you are not obligated to any of these things. The big distinction here is that you asked me to buy you a drink, and were shocked that I wouldn’t do so. This brings me to my second point.
2. You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re an attractive girl, and when you go out there is no shortage of guys offering to buy you drinks. You know that they are all doing so with the hope that it will lead to sex with you. You know that it’s not going to happen, but you will accept the free drinks anyway. I don’t hold this against you. If they’re dumb enough to think that buying you a drink is the key to your heart and that they are somehow different from the other Ed Hardy-wearing frat-bros then it’s their own damn fault. You’re using your god-given assets to get free alcohol, nothing wrong with that. But it is precisely because I know that you do this that I will not be another douche who thinks he can get into your pants with a mixed drink. It’s insulting to my dignity as a man and your honor as a woman. I noticed you when you first walked in. I saw you dancing with that hopeless collar-popper. I saw him go to the bar and bring a drink back to you on the dancefloor. I saw how the second the glass was in your hand, you gave him the “Thanks for the drink, it was really nice meeting you” treatment complete with the obligatory pat on the chest. I saw the pathetic, defeated look on his face as you walked away. He will enter the next round of bar hopping a little wiser I hope.
3. You took my unwillingness to fall into such a trap as an insult. You accused me of being stuck-up. You then said that I had a chance at fucking you, but that I’d ruined it by being an asshole. What exactly are you trying to tell me? That the asinine idea that getting a girl a drink will get you in her pants is actually true? That your decision of whether or not to sleep with a guy is based on him liquoring you up? We had a good conversation, and maybe you were actually interested in me. But the fact that any rapport we built was destroyed when I wouldn’t buy you a gin and tonic means that I am no longer interested in you. Not all guys are desperate sperm donors. Some of us actually value a good conversation, and we value girls who have enough respect for themselves that they don’t view sex as a transaction.
4. We established during our conversation that we are both broke-ass fine arts students. Why then would you expect that I, someone who shares your financial woes, would want to spend money on you, a girl I just met? I don’t believe that chivalry is dead. I’ll hold a door for you, I’ll pull out your chair or take your coat. I’ll help you change a flat tire, carry you over deep puddles, figure out the remote, reset your modem. I’ll even help you move when I know you a little better. Why? Because I’m a gentleman. I will not, however, buy you a drink under the pretense that it is what a gentleman does, because I simply cannot afford it. If you want a guy who can afford to buy you whatever you want, find a fifty year-old sugar daddy. There was no shortage of potentials at the bar the other night.
I hope this illustrated my thought-process clearly enough. I hope you realize that you seemed amazing at first, and that declining to buy you a drink was in no way an insult. Your reaction, however, revealed the self-entitled, game-playing she-devil that was lurking underneath. I thank god for the out that he provided at that moment though. Just after you finished your little rant on what I dick I was for not boozing you up, a group of girls emerged at the bar right behind you. Two of these girls were thin and pretty. They immediately got the attention of some bros and had free drinks within minutes. The third girl was overweight and out of place. She had clearly spent a great deal of time and effort on her appearance, but alas, she was once again forsaken by her prettier friends and left to stand by herself, looking miserable. Luckily, I know when the universe has given me a profound gift. There were two incredible moments that filled me with an elation that could not be rivaled by the orgasm I would have had while fucking you. The first was the sincere, excited smile that the chubby girl gave me when I moved past you and asked what she wanted to drink. The second was turning back and seeing the look of horror on your face. You pathetic “have fun with the fatty” remark as you walked away was priceless. I may be broke, but I was willing to go into the red to make this girl’s night and to piss you off. I’m sure as soon as you left you got plenty of free drinks and plenty of idiots drooling over you. I just hope that I got under your skin enough to prevent any enjoyment of those things.
I had a great night. I introduced the big girl to an open-minded friend, and as I write this they are across the hall having loud sex. Normally going to bed alone, subjected to the sounds of raucous lovemaking across the hall would be a serious downer. But tonight, as I crawl into my lonely bed, I will go to sleep comforted by the fact that I have retained my self-respect. Having encountered more than a few spoiled bimbos, I infer that sex with you would have consisted of you lying on your back expecting me to be so grateful that I’m seeing your “hot” naked bod makes up for the fact that you are putting absolutely no effort into this sexual experience. This may just be me trying to justify going to bed alone tonight, but hey, what can you do?
The moral: Ladies, accept drinks if they are offered. Do not expect them. And if you’re feeling particularly wild on a given night, offer to buy the guy a drink. He will be instantly smitten.
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Recaro1
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Registered: 25th Mar 02
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You looked at me like I told you I was going to rape your dog Charlie (yes, I remember his name).
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Recaro1
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Registered: 25th Mar 02
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"And if you’re feeling particularly wild on a given night, offer to buy the guy a drink. He will be instantly smitten."
And if you buy me enough and your ugly, you'll stand a better chance...
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pow
Premium Member
Registered: 11th Sep 06
Location: Hazlemere, Buckinghamshire
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Brilliant
I don't go out that often at all, but, a similar thing once happened to me... Stood waiting to buy some drinks at the bar and was chatting away to someone I though was a nice girl in the same waiting game as me. As soon as I got to the bar, she just shouted at me "Vokda and Coke" as if I had to pay her for the 5 minutes of conversation that we'd just had. I just ignored her and walked away!
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GF-91
Banned
Registered: 8th Jul 09
Location: Burnley!
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quote:
Originally posted by pow
Brilliant
I don't go out that often at all, but, a similar thing once happened to me... Stood waiting to buy some drinks at the bar and was chatting away to someone I though was a nice girl in the same waiting game as me. As soon as I got to the bar, she just shouted at me "Vokda and Coke" as if I had to pay her for the 5 minutes of conversation that we'd just had. I just ignored her and walked away!
@ walking away
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gravesy
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Registered: 21st Apr 10
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I bought you a drink just so I could slip a roofie in it.
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Daimo B
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Registered: 20th Mar 00
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Great post.
The amount of sh1tty looks i've had for turning down to buy someone a drink for these exact reasons
Err love, you talked to me, why don't you buy me a drink instead if your actually interested.
Funnily enough, no conversation, and no drink. Happenend a lot more than once Still, saved me a fortune I guess.
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pow
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Registered: 11th Sep 06
Location: Hazlemere, Buckinghamshire
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Fuck her, at the time I had a girlfriend (and tbh I would never make a habit of picking up a random girl from a bar) so meh... her loss really. No doubt she went back to her dollied up barbie mates and told them what a cunt I was for not buying her a drink
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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it's a bit long but it's funny and i totally agree with that. I mentioned in a post a few weeks back that a girl told me i could talk to her if i bought her a drink. i just turned my back on her. tbh, had i got my conversation at the expense of a bacardi and coke she wouldn't have been able to keep up anyway the dumb bitch.
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Tomnova16
Premium Member
Registered: 21st Jan 06
Location: Gerrards Cross Drives: Porsche 911
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amen to that, equal rights and all that seem to only apply when it suits them
http://www.lemass.co.uk/ for all your automotive/bodyshop needs
Located in Chalfont st Peter
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Paul_J
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Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: London
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he sounds like a tight arse douche bag.
It's only a drink.
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Paul_J
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Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: London
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quote:
Originally posted by Paul_J
he sounds like a tight arse douche bag.
It's only a drink.
P.S. this is based on the fact he said he had a 20 minute conversation or whatever, where they were getting along. Even if she did walk off, buying her a drink while your at the bar isn't exactly asking much.
What pow is talking about is something completely different. If a girl just demanded a drink or it was a complete stranger you hadn't been speaking to for 20 mins, then it would be a different story.
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Yes but Paul you are missing the point, she had already got a lad to get her a drink then told him in not so many words to GTF shortly afterwards.
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oceansoul
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Registered: 19th Jun 06
Location: Sunbury, Surrey
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Couple of weeks ago i was waiting at a bar with a long que. Girl came up to me and asked me to order her a drink so she didnt have to que for ages. I was a bit drunk so thought fuck it, ill ORDER for her. Ordered my round and the JD n Coke for her, then payed. Turned to the girl who said cheers love and was about to take the JD n Coke and not give any cash for it. I was shocked. When she asked me to order for her i was expecting her to give me money for said drink. I just took the drink back to my table of mates and someone there drank it
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pow
Premium Member
Registered: 11th Sep 06
Location: Hazlemere, Buckinghamshire
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I'm gunna stab at that was in Kingston oceansoul
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ryzer
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Registered: 18th Mar 03
Location: Berkshire Drives:UGLY MUG
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quote:
Originally posted by Paul_J
he sounds like a tight arse douche bag.
It's only a drink.
yep, maybe im a mug
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Laney
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Registered: 6th May 03
Location: Leeds
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quote:
Originally posted by oceansoul
Couple of weeks ago i was waiting at a bar with a long que. Girl came up to me and asked me to order her a drink so she didnt have to que for ages.
To be fair, I used to use this line all the time to chat up girls
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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quote:
Originally posted by Laney
quote:
Originally posted by oceansoul
Couple of weeks ago i was waiting at a bar with a long que. Girl came up to me and asked me to order her a drink so she didnt have to que for ages.
To be fair, I used to use this line all the time to chat up girls
Then they use you like the tool you are. and walk away. 
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Laney
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Registered: 6th May 03
Location: Leeds
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quote:
Originally posted by Lawrah
quote:
Originally posted by Laney
quote:
Originally posted by oceansoul
Couple of weeks ago i was waiting at a bar with a long que. Girl came up to me and asked me to order her a drink so she didnt have to que for ages.
To be fair, I used to use this line all the time to chat up girls
Then they use you like the tool you are. and walk away.
...eh?
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Xs
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Registered: 12th Apr 02
Location: Lanarkshire
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Isnt always the case, girls quite regularly buy me drinks at the bar. I like to think its because of my outstanding banter, however maybe its because they think I look like a tramp and cant afford a drink? 
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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quote:
Originally posted by Xs
Isnt always the case, girls quite regularly buy me drinks at the bar. I like to think its because of my outstanding banter, however maybe its because they think I look like a tramp and cant afford a drink?
Im sure its the latter cally. 
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Daveskater
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Registered: 29th Apr 08
Location: Oxford, UK Drives: Jap wagon
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Am I the only person to see that and think "I'm not reading all that"?
Numberwang!
Originally posted by AlunJ
I like you Dave, you are a man of men
Originally Whatapp'd by Neo
Dave's maybe capable of a drive-by cuddle
Look at my pictures
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3CorsaMeal
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Registered: 11th Apr 02
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fucking hell lawrah, i so want to be inside you 
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
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Number one, I take two number three’s
That’s a whole lot of you and a side of me??
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oceansoul
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 06
Location: Sunbury, Surrey
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quote:
Originally posted by pow
I'm gunna stab at that was in Kingston oceansoul
It was actually In the kings tun. I hate going Kingston, much prefer staines
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