jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
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Scoobs "I have a date" thread it got me wondering.
I'm single for the first time in over 4 years and i've missed out on most of the whole date situation through my late teens into my twenties so now i have no idea what to do  
I used to be a cheeky cocky little sod that could get most girls quite easily (its the honest truth and im not being big headed. I never said it was the right girls either ) but i dont see it working now being older and more grown up. The confidence has wavered slightly but is still there but i just dont know where to start any more.
It used to be groups of mates, msn, facebook, bebo and all of that how you met people along with nappy nights at clubs. Those were the days where you could walk up to someone and just ask them straight out to get with you.
What the hell do you do now?! I still understand the whole confidence thing but where do you meet people? How does it work now its no longer within a group of friends? Whats the etiquette with situations like this? I cant just walk up to someone in the street and ask them, i would do but i think i'd get a slap
I've just sort of bypassed the meeting girls in nightclubs and all that and haven't really got a clue where to go from here.
I will get my flameproof coat and await the responses of "man up and shag a slag" and "stop being a faggot and get out there" etc
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Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
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just woo them. if they are semi decent then they will want to feel special.
you will know a slag from someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
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Ye thats the thing my ex was like that and then it all went tits up after 2 years.
Its not the whole wooing thing its the actual meeting people. Say you see someone you like do you just walk straight up to them and try and work your magic? Or do you do the whole teenager thing of purposely walking past them a few times and smiling so they notice you and then go over? Or something else?
I used to be good at all this and now its like ive never done it!
[Edited on 30-09-2010 by jibjob]
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Anty
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Registered: 19th Mar 08
Location: droitwich
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got that on my last date.. got the full impression she wanted it, and yes i was Correct. and no i idnt before you ask lol
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Jake
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Registered: 24th Jan 05
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depends where youre planning to meet someone. meeting a girl in a bar isnt the way forward, it speaks volumes about their lifestyle and more often than not they are going to be pissed, with no sense of inhibitions and generally a twat. if thats the way you want to meet someone, get a couple of drinks down you and start talking to them.
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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See thats not really what i want. I want someone down to earth, with ambitions, has a laugh and is just generally great.
The thing is id be fine if it was how it used to be like seeing someone who was your mate to start with but im shit at meeting new people and have no idea what to say anymore Do i tell a joke, do i just hand over my number and smile and walk off, do i say hi my name is...., etc etc. I guess i'll have to learn the hard way but any advice is great. (Apart from when Live_Lee sees this thread and tells me to go to a wedding in my pants )
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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quote:
Originally posted by jake
depends where youre planning to meet someone. meeting a girl in a bar isnt the way forward, it speaks volumes about their lifestyle and more often than not they are going to be pissed, with no sense of inhibitions and generally a twat. if thats the way you want to meet someone, get a couple of drinks down you and start talking to them.
You would get on well with me and Steve, do you want to mEAt?
These days if I was single I would go websites like EHarmony and meet someone, my mate was meeting a different girl every week and most of them were intelligent decent women.
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nick_sri
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Registered: 5th May 09
Location: Crewe , Cheshire
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get in crewe on a friday night , skank heaven lol
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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See OJC has a point on the dating websites but early twenties women on them are usually seriously tapped
Been there, done that Nick Bad times one i went out with now has a kid 
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Andrew
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Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
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Picking up girls in bars is a bit of a no no IMO. However I do know a couple that did and it works well for them. I'm out on Fri & Sat and will try my luck
You can meet anywhere tbh. I meet people at work all the time. Met some 19 yr old today - bit young but fun.
My sister is setting me up with someone from her work.
I still want my ex back though but i don't think it will happen.
[Edited on 30-09-2010 by Andrew]
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
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Work is tempting but working on the motorway means most of them will live miles and miles away  And theres no way id go out with anyone i actually work with
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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The only issue my mate had with one of them he spent a bit of time with from eHarmony was she was a bit too 'close' to her brother from what he told me.
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
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As in "close" like that pop duo from not so long back the blonde and her brother same but different or same difference or something like that
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Anty
Premium Member
Registered: 19th Mar 08
Location: droitwich
User status: Offline
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Men, 10 habits that are keeping you single
Being single is great – but only if you want to be. It's not so much fun when you're fed up with dinner for one and can't understand why no-one wants to go out with you. What's keeping you unattached while everyone else gets loved up? Here are 10 habits that could be to blame.
1. Lechery
It's fine to think about sex a lot. It's just about workable to think about sex all the time. But it's neither fine nor workable to talk about sex all the time. The more that you let those naughty thoughts form themselves into words, the less luck you're going to have with women.
Just to complicate things, you don't even have to think or talk about sex to come across as lecherous. You just need to flirt too much. The least attractive men at a party are the ones who flirt with every woman there, in the hope of getting off with one of them. To make a woman fall for you, make her feel like the only woman in the room.
However, do it carefully: paying the wrong kind of compliment can make you sound like a proper sleazebag. “The wrong kind of compliment means” anything unimaginative that's purely to do with her appearance. If you walk up to a woman you've never met before and tell her she's the most gorgeous creature in the room, you sound like a lech. Tell her she's got lovely elbows, and you've scored. I know, life is weird and unfair.
By the way, your fart jokes are the opposite of sexy. Just so you know.
2. Signal blindness
If a woman is giving you the right signals, she assumes that you're reading loud and clear. If you dither, you’ve lost her. When a woman you've never met before asks if you'd like a drink, she is actually saying: “I’m looking for a man-sized hot water bottle, and I wondered if you’d volunteer?” Do NOT lose your opportunity.
Brush up your body language fluency, too. If she meets your eye for a heartbeat longer than necessary, she's telling you that she's interested – and if you don't send back a corresponding signal, she'll assume that you don't want to know. So get out there and meet a woman’s eye for a second or two. If you look away, look back and catch her looking again, you’re in.
3. Shallowness
Are you the kind of man who notices when a woman has gained five pounds over Christmas, and is put off by a solitary jawbone zit? Get over yourself. No wonder you haven't got a girlfriend, you shallow toad.
4. Commitment-phobia
You are a cliché made flesh, and you are a man made of a thousand bad excuses. So you don't want to get into a relationship because you're scared of getting hurt. You don't want to get married because your parents had a nasty divorce. You don't want to move in together because the magic will be gone.
Look, we all have those fears – women as well as men. But you can't cling onto them and then go round moaning that you're still single. If you want a relationship, be a man and eat your fears.
5. Desperation
Giving a woman your attention will pay dividends, but don’t invade her personal space. If a woman you’re talking to turns to talk to her friend, or goes off to the loo or the bar without saying “I’ll be back,” she’s trying to shake you off. Do not, for the love of God, wait for her outside the loo.
Ringing her on the way home from your first date is a way of invading her personal space with your voice alone. Creepy.
6. Slobbiness
Clothes maketh the man. What you’re wearing reveals a lot about you to the women in the room, such as whether you can operate a washing machine.
Being able to read a clock is another handy skill. It’s fine to run five minutes late for a date, as long as you text to let her know. It’s almost more polite than being on time, because it gives her a chance to catch her breath. However, turning up 10 or more minutes late without explanation makes you look rude before you’ve even uttered a word. You’re strangling all your relationships at birth.
7. Bragging
No woman will be impressed if you brag about your job, your travels or whatever. The way to impress a woman is to let her brag about herself, and to be fascinated.
8. Pack hunting
Men who go sharking with their mates are men who come home again with their mates, only drunker. If you want to come home with a woman, you need to hunt alone.
On a similar note, when you're dating a woman, don’t take her on a date to the place where you’re likely to be accosted by friends who are shouting and smelling of beer.
9. Mobile phone addiction
Answering your mobile is one of the rudest things you can do on a first date. Your companion will sit there feeling less and less important with every word you bark into your phone. Switch the thing off when you arrive.
10. Kisslexia
You may be achingly gorgeous and possessed of brilliant conversational wit, but if you're a bad kisser you won't be attractive to women. Slobbering over her face, licking her chin, sucking her lips, deep-throating with your tongue... women hate being kissed this way, and most men over the age of 13 know this. Now if you'll excuse us, we need to go and think about something less icky.
 
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Tell her she's got lovely elbows, and you've scoredquote:
I have to say i have none of those problems though  Although i refuse to tell a girl she has lovely elbows
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Jake
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Registered: 24th Jan 05
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some good pieces of advice there. making eye contact AND keeping without grinning like a bastard is fucking difficult so once youve mastered that, it will end up being a lovely story.
[Edited on 30-09-2010 by jake]
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Jake
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Registered: 24th Jan 05
User status: Offline
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OJC, any time mate we have lots to talk about
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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I can do the eye contact! Its the easiest part! I've been told i have bright blue eyes and a cheeky grin so id say ive mastered it 
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Jake
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Registered: 24th Jan 05
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great, if you get a couple of seconds eye contact go over and have a chat - introduce yourself etc etc
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Fuck it i might give it a try at the weekend. Im shit at reading signals though so to be honest i'll probably get laughed at and they'll walk off but fuck it
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mwg
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Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
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Worst thing you can do is worry about it, if you try too hard it will never happen. Just get yourself out and enjoy yourself. Someone will come along when you least expect it either through a night out, through a mutual friend or maybe through work.
The harder you try the more likely you are to fail IMO!
[Edited on 30-09-2010 by mwg]
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Matt.H
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Registered: 12th Mar 03
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As said before, picking up girls in bars is probably a no no. Its one of the hardest places to do it i find. For a start women have got their guard up because they are expecting blokes to try it on. And even if you do get talking you need to come across interesting and completely different from every pissed up idiot thats tried it previously that night.
I was in the same situation as you 4 yrs ago (and still am ) Confidence is an issue. Think its just the worrying about being blown out the water but you just have to go for it. Do it when after a couple of drinks. Just enough to help you but not absolutely steaming so you can't sting a sentence together. I pulled and got some birds number last friday...I can't even remember the last time that happened lol.
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jibjob
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Registered: 6th Apr 08
Location: Elworth, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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See i think you've hit the nail on the head there Matt. I have the confidence but im worried about being knocked back. Like you say though i just have to man up and go for it.
mwg i think thats my problem i over analyse, try too hard and worry too much and then ultimately fail. Think i need to chill it out a bit and just see what happens.
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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if i was single id go to swinging heaven.com
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RichR
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Oct 01
Location: Waterhouses, Staffordshire
User status: Offline
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I'm going to repeat this again, offer to drive Bridesmaids to the church for a wedding; then get super drunk, have a dance off, split your trousers, take your keks off, pull a bridesmaid, ask a 39 year old to marry you and havea 19 year old feel your balls all infront of your Mum - You'll be back on top in no time
[Edited on 01-10-2010 by LiVe LeE]
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