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Author Lessons in love...
Jamie
Member

Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
2nd Apr 03 at 13:20   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over
a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents
helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and
my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite much
indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was
a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and
sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, quite obviously too,
and it made me feel uncomfortable.

One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to
check the invitations. So I went. She was alone, and
when I arrived, she whispered to me, that I was soon
to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me
that she can't overcome. So before I get married and
commit my life to her daughter, she wants to make love
to me just once..

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't
say a word. So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and
if you are up for it, just come and get me. I just
watched her delicious behind as she went up the
stairs. I stood there for a moment, and then turned
around and went to the front door... I opened it, and
stepped out of the house.

Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in
his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and
pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn't
have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome
to the family.

Lesson learned:

Always keep your condoms in your car.
Mug shot
Member

Registered: 13th Sep 02
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
2nd Apr 03 at 13:21   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

LOL THOUGHT IT WAS REAL FOR A SEC
Jamie
Member

Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
2nd Apr 03 at 13:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

A woman and man are involved in a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they've both crawled out of the wreckage, the man says, "My God, we were lucky, look at our cars - there's nothing left!"

"You're right," replies the woman still shaken by the collision, "thank God we're both okay. This must be a sign from Him upstairs that we're meant to be friends and that we shouldn't try to pin the blame on each other."

"I suppose it must be," replies the man.

Then scanning the wreckage the woman sees a bottle on the ground.

"And here's another miracle. Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. This must mean that God wants us to drink this Scotch to celebrate our good fortune," she exclaims handing the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves.

After he's downed a healthy slug of the Scotch he hands it back to the woman, who takes the bottle, puts the cap back on, and hands it straight back to the man.

"Aren't you having any?" the man asks, a little surprised.

"No," replies the woman, "I think I'll just wait for the police."
Marcus_Foster
Member

Registered: 14th Apr 02
Location: Bristol.....Drives: BMW E46
User status: Offline
2nd Apr 03 at 13:25   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I would of been up the stairs before her

 
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