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Author BHP figures, bullshitters and 'chips'
thegsi
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Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 13:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Had to share this on here.

Was at work earlier when a guy came in who know my Dad:
Clown: "You wanna get driving that Ferrari of your Dads mate, that a real fast car"
Me: "Ive driven it, my car is enough for me"
Clown: "Fuck off! What you drive?"
Me: "An Evo"
Clown: "Fuck off you wont insure it kid"
Me: "I have insured it. I own it. Its mine"
Clown: "Pah! They're shit, me mates got a twin turbo Beemer will kill it."
Me: (Laughs) "Yeh OK mate if you say so"
Clown: "Fuckin will, its twin turbo 330 , been chipped for Ł80, got 450bhp now, fuckin rapid"
Me: (Still laughing) "Says who?"
Clown: "Me mate got it on da roller thingy, fucking smash your Evo"
Me: "Well your mate is bullshitting you"
Clown: "I'll get him to come down with it and race ya, will smash your Evo and Dads Ferrari, its been chipped, fuckin rapid"
Me: "Yeh OK mate, thanks"

Honestly, why do people think they can talk so much bullshit and expect people to believe it? Maybe if I was 15 years old. Bless...
James
Member
Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I don't get why people argue about how good stuff is that their mates have got.

I walked past a Bentley Continental GT at lunchtime - would smash your Evo m8
DansCorsaSXi
Organiser: Yorkshire
Premium Member

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Registered: 13th Jan 10
Location: Worksop
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:02   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


You'll have to let us know when he brings it down.

Star silver C20XE SXi Project thread

Smoke Grey Corsa GSi Project thread
adiohead
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Registered: 28th Sep 01
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
race him
thegsi
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
It's the whole 'chipped' thing. I instantly stop taking anyone seriously who mention the word 'chipped' when talking about cars.
nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
he sounds like he wears a baseball cap with his hood up tbh.

do love some storys people come out with though

few from a lad my cousin used to go out with who studied some motorsport subjecy
Me - whats that whiring noise (we were in his corsa 1l, which he regularly drifted)
him - its the intercooler
me - oh really

and on another occasion i met him he'd changed cars by this point.
him - what you driving now?
me - ibiza, you?
him - turbo'd megane, got about 300bhp.
me - really?
him - yeah im thinking of getting a nos kit for it.

some people do you make you laugh
nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I've got a amte like this, keeps saying his car (to be - ford focus) has had stuff done to it when his dad had it (his dads now upgraded to a 2.0 Passat CC) I was like let's drive it then, feels no different to any other 1.6.
FAZ
Premium Member

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Registered: 24th Nov 07
Location: Coventry
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:17   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
cus race car
rossnomore
Member
Registered: 18th Oct 06
Location: Fife
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
boy i know just bought a corsa c sxi

him "its rapid for a 1.2 like"
me "that doesnt mean much, really"
him "nah honestly man, its chipped and mapped"
me "chipped and mapped??"
him "aye man, its rapid like"

so many things wrong with his beliefs, so many...
thegsi
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
"Wheel spins in every gear" and "Does xx MPH in 2nd" are two of my favourites.
Baskey
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Registered: 31st May 06
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:30   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Sat in my mates brand new 320d coupe

Bloke- those M3s are fucking quick

Mate - it's a 320

Bloke - mate you don't even know what you bought, it's even got M on the wheels.

He then walks off laughing at us
3CorsaMeal
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Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:32   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
is this him?, had the same one come into my work and start bragging
thegsi
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Green hair....Big shoes....orange trousers....red honk and bowtie.....THATS HIM!!!
rossnomore
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Registered: 18th Oct 06
Location: Fife
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 14:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Love the people that believe the estimated BHP enhancement figures. Put a stainless system, an induction kit, and an ecotec valve on a 1.0 corsa, thats gotta give it at least 50-70 BHP. Weapon...
Carl
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Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
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8th Mar 12 at 14:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
You should have said your evo was chipped mate, it'd have thrown his logic out of the wiindow.
thegsi
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 15:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I was too busy sniggering or yawning

[Edited on 08-03-2012 by thegsi]
Gary
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Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
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8th Mar 12 at 15:08   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I just generally hate people who talk to you about cars, knowing full well your into them but still try make stuff up.

I used to just smile and nod so not to embarras them. Got bored of that now and just rip into them
rossnomore
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Registered: 18th Oct 06
Location: Fife
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 15:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by GaryI used to just smile and nod so not to embarras them. Got bored of that now and just rip into them



Same
thegsi
Member
Registered: 3rd Feb 07
Location: Kidderminster Drives: Evo (you can't afford one)
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 15:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I just generally hate people who talk to you about cars, knowing full well your into them but still try make stuff up.

I used to just smile and nod so not to embarras them. Got bored of that now and just rip into them


Gotta love catching them out. A mate of mine built a RX7 few years ago. Was bridge ported so had a nice lumpy idle. We were at a meet when some chavvy twat came up and says "Thats running rough" to which I replied "Na its fine, its just the cam profile giving it that idle" He says: "Ooohh right its cammed? Sick!"

Jesus we were in bits...
fazza
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Registered: 7th Feb 08
Location: Plymouth
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 16:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Like all these corsa 'redtops' with 190bhp that have a chip fitted.
corsa_sean
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Registered: 11th Mar 08
Location: aberdeen
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 16:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Or folk that say its chipped and remapped does my head in
BarnshaW
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Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 16:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
i was in the petrol station the other month and the young asian guy serving me said

"sick car mate, how much brake is it running? got to be around 700 brake?" , me chuckling getting my money out my pocket thinking he was having a laugh.

looked up and realised he was being serious and had a straight face, i was cracking up driving home anyway
nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 16:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
What you got Barnshaw, Scooby??
R Lee
Member
Registered: 15th Aug 03
User status: Offline
8th Mar 12 at 16:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
I received a text telling me to come out and "race" an Audi TT RS, chipped to 450bhp and will well kill me.Throwing the smack down and all this shit. I politely told him to fuck off and went back to sleep.

In other words, who cares? Majority of these monkeys don't have a clue about cars.

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