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Author My Missus and going out!
richc
Member

Registered: 24th Mar 07
Location: Ilkeston
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:21   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I just want someones view point on this as im struggling to get my head around it;

Just to set the scene. My other half is 26 with two children from previous. One is 5 who has some form of behavior issues and the other is 2.

She has a history of nipping for a drink and not coming back until 5-7am. I don't have a problem with her staying out, its just I would like to know prior, especially as I work Saturday mornings and don't want it to inter fear with that. It has done before and I have missed time at work because of it.


Football was coming on last night and she says 'Ill nip across the pub (which is approximately 50 meters away) whilst the game is on. Are you ok to put the kids to bed?'.

'Yeh no problem' I replied.

The younger child is no problem as went straight to bed. The older wouldn't and kept getting up and coming down stairs and wouldn't listen. I was getting pretty mad and told his mum on the phone, who I thought would of maybe come across and sorted the issue but nothing. She just talked about how hard it is....great help I thought.

Anyway,11 o clock comes and I get a text ' Not be long, just finishing my drink i'm not doing my usual lol xx'

'Fair enough, Ill wait for you' I replied.

'Its all about trust' her answer was.

Anyway, time goes on, I think well ill get in bed and wait. 1 o clock comes, two o clock comes, 3 o clock comes. Nothing. I ring, text, and get nothing.

3.30 am and I haven't slept a wink worrying, 'Im fine z'

4 comes, 4.30, and I still haven't slept and still not more contact.

She eventually poles in at 5.05 am and she goes 'you ok' like nothing has happened and started having a go when I said no

All I got was 'whats your problem' and remarks to that effect, or 'Am i not allowed to go out'

I cant get my head around it. I ended up storming out and going to Mac donalds.

What makes it worse my mum has fell out with all my family, defending her saying she is a nice girl and all the rest of the family hate her. Two days later she does this again.


Russ
Member

Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

mag to grid
micra_pete
Premium Member

Registered: 23rd Apr 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:29   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Have you been together long?
cunningham
Member

Registered: 25th May 05
Location: Lochore, Fife
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

get rid shes taken you for a fool any responsible mum would have came home and helped out when you phoned her
Ryan
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Registered: 23rd Jun 08
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Sounds a bit "council" for my liking, get rid.

Bart
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Registered: 19th Aug 02
Location: Midsomer Norton, Bristol Avon
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

She sounds like a lad.

Clearly not mature yet.
SVM 286
Member

Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by richc
I just want someones view point on this as im struggling to get my head around it;

Just to set the scene. My other half is 26 with two children from previous.




This had alarm bells ringing for me straight away Rich.

After reading the rest, it sounds like she's on to a good thing, yet is taking monumental liberties.

It's impossible to put this nicely, but it sounds like she's taking you for a mug and using you as an in-house FOC baby sitter.

Apart from in Cologne, i've not seen a pub that opens until 4 or 5 or 7 in the morning, so what on earth is she up to and where? .

The whole arrangement sounds like a nightmare Rich. Surely you can do better for yourself Sir?

Several of my pals have put themselves in the same boat and the one I see most of (which is hardly now), now looks like an ill old man. He's aged twenty years in about five and is a shell of the man he used to be.

Sorry to sound blunt and rude, but I don't see any point in sugar coating it Chief.
SVM 286
Member

Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Russ
mag to grid


?
johnny86
Premium Member

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Registered: 15th Feb 10
Location: in a bus stop.
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:54   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

When I got with my partner I had the same sort of thing not as bad mind but was in the same situation..

She say can you look after little man as she out with mate (once a month) she'll be back at 1am maybe 2am she'd turn 4am not able to stand! Used to drive me mad.

Well being the fact she only been with partners who controlled her an wouldn't let her do anything and thy never worked so I think she's finding abit of freedom.

Every time she does this I don't kick off no more I just stop doing things. I know it's petty but it works. I said nah I can't look after Lennon I'm going out (even if I wasn't I'd pop round mums for couple hours), dont buy her things her straighteners broke the other day and I know a new pair is £150 I just said "your have to save up then babe"

People on here will come out and say get rid etc etc but if you love her you'd say and sort it.. Give her and ultimatum rich either sort it out or find another baby sitter.
Neo
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Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:57   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Where the hell is she going till that time of the morning ?
micra_pete
Premium Member

Registered: 23rd Apr 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 08:57   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by SVM 286
quote:
Originally posted by Russ
mag to grid


?


Opposite of grid to mag.
Nath
Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Where was she? Cleary not the pub.
Jules S
Premium Member

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Registered: 24th Dec 03
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:09   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Sounds like she needs sniff testing
VrsTurbo
Premium Member

Registered: 8th Jun 10
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:11   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

She is taking the penis down the alleys. Like kat Slater
sc0ott
Member

Registered: 16th Feb 09
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Sounds like someone fell preg at a young age and missed going out when she had the chance, and is now making up for it without caring.

Shes got 2 kids, last thing on her mind will be a 3rd, especially if you decide you want one. Youll be excited and she will be used to it.

This is your get out of jail free card imo. Take it
richc
Member

Registered: 24th Mar 07
Location: Ilkeston
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:15   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

At a house party around the corner apparently with all the scum from there?

As said, the thing that gets me is she genuinely doesn't see it as a problem and thinks i'm wrong for being mad. All I asked for is some respect that I have work in the morning. We have had this argument probably 7 times that I can remember.

Been together for about a year. Its the most rockiest relationship known to man.

I've never had anything like it. Im getting to the stage I wanna just walk but I feel that I cant due to whats happened with my mum/family.
micra_pete
Premium Member

Registered: 23rd Apr 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:26   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Neo
Member

Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:32   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Its your life, thank your mum for standing by you and move on, stop getting treated like a cunt !
SVM 286
Member

Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by micra_pete
quote:
Originally posted by SVM 286
quote:
Originally posted by Russ
mag to grid


?


Opposite of grid to mag.


I don't know what that means either Pete
recarouk
Member

Registered: 30th Sep 05
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Rich you need to give her an ultimatem, shape up or you're fucking off.

she sounds like shes just taking the piss to be fair, good luck with it, cant imagine its easy to live/deal with.
SVM 286
Member

Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by micra_pete
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/no-answer.gif


Carl
Member

Registered: 9th May 04
Location: Jimmy Bennett's la la land.
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Talk to her. If she doesnt respect your side of the story the the relationship isnt going to work.

Or next time text saying "gone home" see if she comes back.
andys sxi
Premium Member

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Registered: 19th Jan 06
Location: Chester Drives:Scirocco tdi bluemotion
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:46   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

How about yo go out tonight on your own then phone her at 11 and say you will be home soon and come in at 3 and see what happens , she might realise how it feels and not do it again. It needs to be sorted anyway


April 08 feature car
SVM 286
Member

Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Do it to her Rich.

Plan a long weekend with the boys.

Tell her you're popping to the pub for a couple of hours on Thursday evening.

Go out.

And then come back on Tuesday
BarnshaW
Member

Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
7th Sep 13 at 09:54   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

piss taker mate, mugging you right off, get rid

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