Jodi_the_g
Member
Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
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Rock Chicks
How?
Wear Black. Like Rock Music. Be a rock person basically! Don't wear a Ben Sherman shirt, or act like a towny. Try and have a "deep" personality, and know the words to Marilyn Manson songs. That is all!
Indie Girls
How?
Learn Oasis tunes (just in case) and Coldplay. Dance like your shoulders are glued stiff, and your hands are on fire. Wear hats! Grow your hair. Don't shave. Don't wash. Don't sleep.
Student Girls
How?
Student girls fall into two types: They either want fellow students; so act poor, wear designer "relaxed wear" and have a bit of an attitude; or they want someone in full time employment, and who doesn't drive a fiat panda. In which case, dress smart casual, and have that air of "I earn money" about you!
Goth Girls
How?
Pretty easy this really: dress in black, have pale skin, and make sure your hair is dark! Wella Hair Dye Ahoy!
Towny Girls
How?
Ben Sherman shirts all round!
Classy Ladies
How?
Get your suit out, shine those shoes up and wash that hair! Wear something more expensive than Lynx aftershave, and flash as much gold as you can. Money talks, and Money says "I want you in my bed!"
Business Ladies
How?
Carry a clipboard, or failing that, a briefcase. Wear that suit, and get a funky silk tie on too. Go for the "scruffy office" look, as if you've spent a day working hard, but make sure the smell is fresh.
Older Ladies
How?
Try and look as young and innocent as possible, i.e. shave and bring back the "curtains" hairstyle. Secondly, stand around looking innocent. If that doesn't work, then try getting really drunk, and pretend you need someone to "help you home", when really all you need is a good humping.
Strippers
How?
Don't talk to them about football, their breasts or call them beautiful. She already knows she has great tits, every guy in the place will be telling her about the time they tried out for City and they just want a normal conversation. Try: "how about that Orange share offer?". Don't try: "Are they a D cup?"
Whilst engaging in conversation, keep the money rolling. Tip well and order more than one lap dance. Do give a quick flash of all the 20's in your pocket, so she knows shes not talking to a Big Issue seller. Don't run your Amex Gold card down her ass crack.
When arranging a date, realise that she has to work in front of the city's perverts and sicko's all day long (just like our office), so pick somewhere public, safe, and where the cuttlery is plastic. Do go to a midrange cosy restaurant. Don't suggest a walk in the woods.
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kinkycorsa
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 03
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
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LMAO jodi...but u shud also post the stuff for us girls...sure evry1 will appreciate it..and the gay stuff...u no wot they r all like on ere!!!! 
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Jodi_the_g
Member
Registered: 7th Aug 01
Location: Washington D.C
User status: Offline
|
For the ladies
Goth Guys
How?
Pretty easy this really: dress in black, have pale skin, and make sure your hair is dark! Wella Hair Dye Ahoy!
Oasis Lookalikes
How?
Not to disrespect the guys in these clubs, hell the lads at ManchesterAD.com go there sometimes, but they're up for pretty much any female form. If you fancy making it a bit easier, strap on your Madchester style outfits, and get going with the hairbrush.
Student Guys
How?
Breathe. Student guys are up for any sort of action, desperate as they are, but make sure you look the 'student' part, as the male psyche causes them to become afraid of women who might earn more than they do. Talk about 'lectures', moan about 'professors' and ask them if they need personal tuition. Chances are, they'll need teaching a lot.
Football Players
How?
You should try to be blonde, and umm "large chested". Indescretion is also good, try "I've snogged Tommy Bradbury from Bolton Wanderers before, and I didn't tell a soul". Cheesy maybe, but a tanked up United or City player won't care. He'll just want to go one better than Tommy Bradbury.
Business Men
How?
Dress black, smart and look tidy. Hair in a bun (yum), and try those Secretary style glasses! If you want to go for the more sexual approach, try the man-trap that is a slightly unbuttoned blouse, and you'll be reeling in over-stressed under-appreciated men, for you to toy with.
Older Guys
How?
When you want to pull anyone over the age of thirty, you simply need a pulse. Failing that, show a bit of leg, dress yourself up smart, and leave the glitter and "cute girl" earings at home!
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