Happy_2008
Member
Registered: 13th Mar 01
Location: Kent
User status: Offline
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A duck walks into a bar, waddles up to the barman, and says, "Got any
bread?"
The barman replies, "No, sorry mate, I don't have any bread"
The duck pauses for a while, and says, "Got any bread?"
The barman, says again "No, I don't have any. Sorry"
The duck says "OK" and walks out of the bar. He then comes back in, and asks
"Got any bread?"
The barman, slightly thrown, replies again "No, I don't have any
bread"
The duck waits, and says "Got any bread?"
"Look, I just told you; I dont' have any bread. Sorry."
"Got any bread"
"Listen; I have no bread. Alright?"
"Got any bread?"
"Alright. I have no bread. Do not ask me again. Understood? Now
go away."
The duck, looking hurt, waddles out of the bar. A minute later, it
returns, and asks the barman, "Got any bread?"
The barman, angry, replies, "I have no bread! If you say 'got any
bread' once more I swear I will nail your beak to this bartop!
Understood?"
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
Married couple
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was
severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft
the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own
skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable
would have to come from his arse.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the
skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed,everyone was astounded at the woman's
new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her
friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with
emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied,"think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I
need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek
A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train. Along came this woman, seeing the 2 cute babies, started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, what are their names?"
The man giving the lady an angry look replied, "I don't know."
The lady asked again, "Which is a boy and which is a girl?"
The man looking angrier than before replied, "I don't know."
The woman then started to scold the man, "What kind of a father are you?"
The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are 2 complaints that I am taking back to my company."
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